Im spooked beyond belief..

how does one describe the spookiest experience they've ever had without actually sounding corny? Is it possible? Can I tell you how spooky my day was without you thinking I'm a loser face? well, we will just have to see ..

The spookiness really started so early in the morning that I would still consider it nightime. I woke up to this huge crashing sound, that sounded like someone was screwing around in the woodpile right by our front door. Disoriented and a bit frightened, I rushed to the bottom of the stairs, but decided I was too spooked to open my bedroom door incase there actually was someone or something outside the front door. So I plugged in the christmas lights that we plug in from downstairs (the ones on the tree and the porch) in hopes that if there was something there, it would get spooked by the lights and leave. My heart was beating like crazy, well?! what do you expect, it's the middle of the night and I hear this huge crash! So yeah I was spooked, but the unplugged the lights and went back to bed..

then I woke up this morning at four thirty (I was opening starbucks) and got ready for work. When I went outside it was to absoloute darkness and the heaviest rain I have ever encountered in BC. I've seen heavy rains in other places, but not like this morning. Then just as Max and I got into the store the whole sky lit up with a brilliant flash of lightning, followed by a ground shaking clap of thunder. Ok for alot of you this is cool, but it's five am by now, and Ashley doesn't like storms in General, and it's even worse when she's in a place that's nintey percent windows.. when it's dark outside. Woooo it was freaky. So Im at work until ten fifteen Am and all morning the lights are flickering, trees are lashing against the window, rain pounding the glass and everything outside. That's creepy enough.

Ok then the rest of the day went alright, until I went to youth group early in order to help with set up.. and discovered that the only people in that whole church (at five thirty PM on a wednsday night) were Duane and Jen and Sammuel.. That's SPOOKY! for any of you who've ever been to NSAC, it's never empty.. Especially not on a wednsday evening.. NEVER..

So that's wierd. Then the rest of the night is alright, sort of average until Im on my way home and decide to stop for Gas at the Esso on the low road. Ok by this time the rain has stopped. I step out of my car only to be greeted with - silence. Honest to God. No radio coming out of the annoying speakers, no cars driving by, just absoloute silence. That's wierd. Wait - it get's worse. The silence gets pierced by the sound of the whistle of a train. Ok that never happens. They don't blow thier whistles when they're coming into North Van! They don't ever do that! but all of a sudden it's silent and BLAST - a train whistle. Im just gonna take this moment to say that the sound of a train whistle has to be one of the lonliest sounds in the world. Can you honestly think of any other sounds that are so lonely? Ok then if that wasnt random enough, then the wind picks up so much that I can actually hear it howling. Ok now Im spooked more than I already was, then I hear this bell, that sounds exactly like the buoys out in the ocean in Cape Breton.
It was so spooky, because I wasn't close enough to the ocean at this gas station for me to be able to hear stuff like that. So I went inside the store, (lights flickering cause of wind) and pay for my Gas ($20.01) and then I get back into my car - and my fan that I bought to clear up the windows - is running ... Ok that's not so bad.. but when you consider the fact that the fukkin thing wasn't plugged in... im not even joking you.. Don't ask me to explain that to you, I can't.. But I was freaked out.. and Still Am..

Man.. Today was spooky..

That's all I have to say about that. I hope tomorrow.. isn't spooky..

this is the worst weather We've seen in a long time. Bridges washed out, buildings practically destoryed. Craziness ova here. Absoloute Craziness.

Oh and my brother is a pastor.. that's cool.. but wierd.. veeeery wierd..

Goodnight - here's hoping for a normal sleep tonight..

Love always
Shle
xoxo

PS. People have started actually calling me Shle.. that's wierd when it's not whit or Tom..

wow......

my brother's a pastor!!!!! hehehehe

Congratualtions mike and cara! I love you both!



Love ashley
xoxo

No doubt about it

It's official.. I have a new love in my life.

Diego Luna..

ooohhhh what I wouldn't give to dance with this man

mmmmm guapo... guapo guapo guapo.. and it helps that he has a beautiful Mexican accent.. and beautiful Mexican hair.. and that he can dance..

reading

well helllooooo. No matter how I type it, it just doesn't seem the same as when I say it.. You know what I mean? I don't really think there's any way to explain that, other than things just arent the same written as they are said.. Behind spoken words you can put so much more. Hey I know how to elaborate on this one. You've all been on MSN before. Have you ever had a conversation where perhaps someone said something and you totally took it seriously, when in all reality they were bieng sarcastic or funny? You couldn't tell! Wanna know why!!!!? Cause not alot of people can put emotion into written word. Im speaking of course, only on a small scale, written conversations, one or two words here or there. Things are so different when it comes to stories or poetry and such. There are people out there who can write with such passion that you can feel the emotion with every single word you read. People who can write like that are fantabulous and make my life so exciting.

I started out blogging five minutes ago not having a clue what I was going to talk about. But here I am. You know what one of my passions is? Reading. I absoloutely love reading, but it's not often that I can find a book that actually keeps me enthralled from start to finish. Some of you may hate me for saying this, but I could not for the life of me, get into the J.R.R Tolken Books. I couldn't, I read the Hobbit from beginning to end and never wanted to stop reading a book so many times. Sometimes I'll read a Danielle steel Book, but honestly, once you've read one, you've read them all. Someone has a happy life then something horrible happens that disrupts everything, and then it takes them awhile to find happiness again in the bed of a next person.
yeah.. Obviously, I love Harry Potter , but there is only so many times I can read the six books that are out. If Rowling would write more Im sure I would read more..
Then there's Stephen King. He's a fabulous writer, I've read only two of his books, Dolores Claiborne and then Misery. I would like to get my hands on some more of his books, but some of them are a bit tooooo much if you know what I mean. I read two pages of pet cemetary I think, or was it Cujo? Either way, I read two pages of it and was freaaaaaked out so I didn't finish it. Alas, Mike has gone and taken all his books with him.
Ok you know who else I love? Nicholas Sparks..
I must have read seven of his books last year alone. However that's not saying much, his novels tend to be rather short and sweet. I loved the Notebook (duh) and A walk to remember.
It's easy to say that I really love Romance novels. Only if they're good. Not sleazy, and believe me, there's a TON of sleazy romance novels out thurr.
This leads me to write to you about Lori Wick
She's pretty much fantastic. She wrties Christian romance, both historical and .. now.. How do you say it? i dunno, anyways.. She writes such fabulous stories that once I start reading a book of hers, I have to read it start to finish. She is original, she doesn't do the same plots over again, each charachter is unique and just all around fabulous! when Im reading her books I can see everything in my mind..
She's pretty fabulous. Anyways.
Im gonna go ..

I pretty much like to read..

TTFN!

roll out

So last night I went to work at around eight thirty. Now some of you would think this to be strange, because starbucks closes at nine. Who starts work half an hour before the store closes!? Oh I do.. Last night was roll out. This means that we took down all our merchandise and our fall signs and everything that isn't christmas, and replaced it with Christmas stuff! It's so exciting, all our signage has changed to reflect the oncoming season, we have decorations galore, all our mugs and things are christmas themed, and it's just awesome! So we started at nine, and were planning on finishing around one am, but it ended up that it took us until three thirty in the morning! wooo it was so fun! we put on music (not starbucks music) and ate pizza and it was great! I was off at twelve thirty, and I went out to New west to go see Gerald, it was cool, then as Im driving back home, I noticed they were still in the store doing stuff, so I went back and stayed with them till 3:30.. It was a good bonding time, I love my manager and assistant manager, and it was just a great time..

Yeah that's all I have to say about that..

Im out for now..
Holla

Ashley

hee hee hee too funny!

Hey read these jokes.. I've said it before and I'll say it again - laughter is great for you!
Give er a try - thanks to mitch hedburgh

I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy, y'know. Refrigerator, Toaster, Blender. You just say what the thing does, then you add "er". Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute: "What's this thing do?" "It keeps stuff fresh." "well, that's a 'Fresher'... I'm going on break."

I hate dreaming because when you wanna sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work, y'know, like there I am laying on my comfortable bed. It's beautiful... next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut, man. I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend, "Don’t even act like you didn't get that doughnut." "I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home... in the file... under 'D'."

Y'know when they show someone on TV washing their hair under a waterfall? That's bullshit, man, cuz that thing would knock you on your ass.

I saw a lady with a flower. She was plucking out the petals. She was saying, "He loves me... he loves me not." Thank god the flower can't talk. What would it say? "SHIT! That hurts! Ah! That hurts as well. OW, leave me alone. I'm no longer pretty... and he loves you not. I could have told you I had an even number of petals!"

I have a cheese shredder at home, that's a positive name for a cheese shredder. They don't call it by its negative name, cause no one would buy it: sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge... that would melt easily over tortilla chips.

There's a commercial on late-night TV for this thing you attach to a garden hose. It says, "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product." Who the hell would make their plants hard to reach!? That seems so very mean. "I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully, they'll invent a product before you shrivel and die. Think like a cactus!"

The depressing thing about tennis is no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're friggen relentless.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here. Gotta go.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I went to the store, bought eight apples. The clerk said, "Do you want me to put 'em in a bag?" I said "Oh no, man, I juggle! But I can only juggle eight... if I'm ever here buying nine apples, bag em' up!"

Foosball messed up my perception of soccer. I thought you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a back flip, much less several... simultaneously with two other guys... that look just like me.

People teach their dogs to sit. It's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

can't think of an original post title

Ok I seriously want to have a baby just to be able to see him laugh like this kid. It's so beautiful.

Anyways, all that aside. I am having such a great time at work. I have never worked in a place that I've had so much fun. My manager at KFC was good, but then all the employees were ass-holes. My manager at Safeway was a cow, and that just didn't work out. We don't even need to get into subway, we all know what a nice guy Ranjit was. But seriously, My manager at starbucks is fabulous, she's so much fun, and she actually works hard to make sure that her employees are happy! How fab is that!?

Anyways.. I feel like I really don't know what else to blog about, because as of now, my life is only my work. I have nothing else to talk about!

OH IM SUCH A LIAR! I met Aidan this weekend. For those of you who don't know, (everyone but whitney) Aidan is whitneys new boyfriend! And Of course, I had to approve of him before anything else could happen! I met him this weekend, and I have never ever seen Whitney so happy. That made me happy. From what I saw he treats her like royalty, and he's super fun and they're just adorable together.
WOOOO that makes me uber excited. I guess that's all I really have to say about that.

I dunno, I just felt like blogging.
I guess Im gonna run for now, cause I really have nothing to talk about.
How sad..

Love always
Ashley

PS the new Evanescence Album is really awesome

Laughter

I love Laughter.. Thought this little one could brighten up your day..

Love always
Ashley
Xoxo

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas

Yeah we're a little early.


But you love it..

51 more days..

Love always
Shle

Xoxo

craziness!

you know, my last seven blogs have been about Buff and this whole situation, I think it's time that I move along, not so much that I forget about him (obviously) but to the extent where I don't dwell on the situation anymore.. What's done is done, and I can't live for the rest of my life in pain or in regret.

Yesterday my mom and I took out just a little tiny bit of our christmas decorations. We decided we would lighten the mood in the cove by turning on our christmas lights outside. This year I went CRAZY with the lights. We normally just do the house and that's it. But this year we did the house, the bush infront of the house, the porch, the railing on the stairs, and the tree that mike planted while he was still in elementary school (which is HUGE now)
It's so exciting. So yeah November first, the Schalins have thier Christmas lights up and on.

And so tonight when I came home from work with my peppermint mocha in hand (sooo goood) I felt sooo happy. I've said it before, and lots of people must think I'm crazy, but I love Christmas sooo much. To me it isnt a time of year. to me it's a feeling inside that just makes me sooo happy.
It's a feeling I get when I look at the lights twinkling in the snow (to be read: rain), when I see the christmas trees in the lot up at parkgate. When I hear christmas carols. You know how it goes. it just makes me insanely happy. And Im glad that I have something that can do that for me.

Im going to bed, Im opening starbucks tomorrow morning at five am! Wooo hoo!
By the way, that's going soooo goood! this is a job that can turn into something fabulous! We'll talk about that later!

Love always
Ashley
Xoxo

Letter by Katrina Molson

To everyone who knows and loves Buff,

Some of what was said by Rev. Marianna Harris at Buff's memorial today was uncalled for and inappropriate. Many of us in attendance wanted to stop her but we stayed silent out of respect for Buff's family. That being said, I would like to take this opportunity to speak my piece on what was so coldly stated about the matter of Buff's suicide.

Anyone who knows Buff knows he would never intentionally hurt anyone. It was not in Buff's nature to consider how many people he touched in his short life. It was not in his nature to think about the multitude of people that would mourn his loss so profoundly.

That man had one of the biggest hearts we will ever have the honour of knowing.

It was suggested that he took the easy way out. It is not our place to decide which way is right or wrong, easy or difficult. It was his choice. It was what was right for him, and ended what must have been extreme suffering on his part. It is not our place to speculate as to the cause of Buff's decision to take his life, but to sympathize with our great friend and his struggles that ultimately caused him to leave us.

I asked Rev. Harris after the service why she had chosen to address a persons suicide in this manner at his own memorial and she told me that she didn't want anyone to try to imitate his actions.

I think we can all agree that to imitate Buff at this time would distress him greatly and this would not have been his intention at all.

I really do not know how to end this, all I can say is that I hope Buff has found peace. He will not be forgotten.

Sincerely, Katrina Molson

Avalanche

Does it make me a coward if I don't really want to know the reason why Buff did what he did? Does it mean that I am scared of the truth? Some people would say so. But you know what, I've heard the "truth" and weather or not I believe it, it doesnt matter. What I have chosen, is not to let the "truth" change my perception of who Buff was. The Buff I knew was a kind and gentle soul. The man I knew always put others before himself. The Buff I knew wouldn't hurt a soul.

What's really sad is that the rumors or facts (Whatever) that are coming out right now are really going to hit some people in the face - and they're going to change what those people thought about this man. They're going to make them look twice and think - mabye he wasn't really as good as we thought. But Buff did what he did in a broken state - To me and my family, Buff will always be the person who forgets what he's doing in order to carry some womans food out to her car when he sees she can't manage. Buff will always be the man who sacrifices of himself to help others.

Nothing anyone can do or say will change that.

So because I dont want to hear any more of this truth that is coming out - does that make me weak?

I don't think so. It just means that I've heard it, I accept it, but it's not the Buff I want to remember.

I want him to rest in peace. What is done is done, and we don't have to forgive Buff. He's already been forgiven. We don't have to judge Buff. Human Judgement just leads to more wrongs.

I want to let it go. I wish everyone would do that, but I know that this isn't the last I've heard about the situation. I know it'll be on everyone's lips for awhile to come.

All I can do is pray for strenght for those who have to hear it.

Blessings
Ashley
Xoxo

Lift up His name with sounds of singing
Lift up His name in all the earth
Lift up your voice and give Him glory
For HE is worthy to be praised

Holy Crappy

I've never been more disgusted with a church organized, church led function in my whole life.

It was wierd enough for me that the minister of the church was an older lady, and it got about twenty times worse when she got up and started talking about how Buff made a bad decision, and that there were other ways he could have dealt with his pain. I was ready to get up and leave when she talked for a couple of minutes about how if anyone is in pain, that we shouldn't make the bad decision that Buff did. How he should have dealt with it better. How he was wrong. How he dissapointed everyone. The woman actually had the nerve to say "Buff should be sorry that he hurt you all, because that was the last thing he did." I have never been more insulted or disgusted in my life.
AND she said his name wrong.. Four times...

Honestly, who gets up at a funeral and insults the person who dies? Ok, so Buff did make a poor choice, but you know what, we weren't at the church to talk about that! We werent at the church to hear how stupid it was... we were at the church to mourn his passing and to celebrate his life.
and Im very glad that I calmed down enough to actually do that. Im glad that I could do that.
But as I replay the service in my mind, it just doesn't make sense to me.

Anyways.. That was that.

So I saw alot of people today that I haven't seen in a long time. It was really nice, but disgusting that we had to come together under those circumstances.

so now I have a headache. Im going to go try to relax..
So yeah.. Peace out gangsta! !

"Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me
Let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be,
With God as our father, brothers all are wel
Let me walk with my brother, in perfect harmony"

move along

well.. today is the memorial service for buff. It's gonna be real strange, all these people coming together who havent seen each other in a long time. It's been years for some graduates, and just days for students. We haven't had the service yet, but I know that it's gonna be huge. It's amazing to think just how many lives this man has touched, how many people cared about him, and how many people are very sad to see him gone.
Today will be a sad day. But we're going to celebrate his life today, not mourn his death.
It's gonna be hard.

anyways.. I hope you all have a good day, I'll write more this afternoon..

Much love
Ashley
Xoxo

hallelujah

I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby I’ve been here before
I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when I moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all I’ve ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

Rest In Peace Buff

Rest in Peace

there's something ridiculously painful about the loss of a friend, but I think the pain is 20 times worse when all you can picture is thier face right before they make the choice to end thier own life.

RIP my friend - I wish I could picture you soaring with angels instead of into the waters below the bridge - mabye in time.

GOD BLESS FOREVER

bah

have you ever said something in anger that you didn't mean? Im sure we all have, after all, we're humans right? well doesn't it make you feel like shit?

sometimes all you can do when you put your foot in your mouth is to apologize and see what happens next..

*Sigh*

three thirty in the morning

it's three eleven am on saturday morning, and im wide awake. I haven't been to sleep yet.. Im up because I have to take my auntie to the airport, she's flying back to Michigan today. It's been a week that she's been here, and it was alot of fun! I hadn't seen her in seven years, and so it was pretty fab getting to know her again..

Anyways.. I haven't really got the mental capacity to write a proper blog. But just wanted to say it's been super cool having her here. I hope I can go to the states to visit her and her fam sometime..
Money's not the easiest stuff to come by at the mo' tho.. so yeah..

Anyways.. I'll blog again soon

Love always and forever
Shle
xoxo

PS Whit, you rock my sox! and im so excited!

im bored..

1. What does your MySpace Name mean?
- shle is my nickname that whit's bro gave me, and it just stuck

2. Elaborate on your default photo.
-it's me.. with my new sunglasses on and straight hair

3. What's your middle name?
- Evelynn Ann

4. What is your current relationship status?
- Im dating someone

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
- Assuming that my crush is my boyfriend, yes

6. What is your current mood?
- frustrated

7. What do you love most?
- singing with passion

8. What makes you most happy?
- my friends and family (And boyfriend)

9. Are you musically inclined?
- yeah

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
- I wouldn't have ever gone to Jamaica

11. If you had to be an animal for one day, what would it be?
- a lioness

12. Ever have a near death experience?
- not that I know of

13. Name one thing you do a lot?
- read books

14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
- Usar mes manos - a song I heard while I was in Mexico

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
- Jeremy Potter

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you.
- I don't know anyone with my birthday

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? Where?
- yes, while I was in Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat (the broadway production) and in alot of school shows - i was the tinman in The Wizard of Oz at school, and much more

20. What are the things you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
- honestly, i notice hair first, but then eyes and smile

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
- only when Im feeling depressed

26. Do you have braces ?
- no

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
- I kind of like bieng shorter than everyone

28.Name something funny that always happens to you?
- nothing funny happens to me


29. Do you speak any other languages?
- bits and pieces of french and spanish

30. What's your favorite smells?
- outside after rain falls, and everything christmas, as well as boy..

My New Job

So I just had my first ever starbucks shift, and even though I didn't actually take any customers, I learned quite alot and it was uber fun! So the whole thing started out basically with me and my manager (Sara) talking and going through these books and pamphlets and stuff, and it was kind of draining - but to keep me company I had a Caramel Macchiato (not sure if I spelled that right) It was my first official coffee experience. Enjoyable - wierd, but enjoyable. Umm then we did alot of walking around and learning about different stuff, in general I enjoyed it.. By the end of the night, (he was high as a kite once again, ten points if you know that song) we got to the part where I got to learn how to make Allll the cold blended coffees on the menu, and the iced teas and stuff, and in general it was just uber fun! I made about 9 different drinks, and ended up taking them all with me, cause I didn't want to throw them all away! I gave some to the people who worked at Nectars, (the greek resturaunt next door) and the rest are sitting in my freezer. Im not sure how that's gonna work out, but whateves.
Anyways.. Work was alot of fun, I know alot of people and it's just gonna be great - I get the feeling that Starbucks, once Im confident in myself enough to know all the recepies and stuff, is gonna be the type of place I look forward to working at. The great thing about starbucks, that I figured out long before I got hired, is the community that exists, not only within the staff, but everyone.. The whole deal with starbucks, is that they want to be in the community and a part of it, and contributing to it and also the environment..

The mission statement of Starbucks is to: "Establish Starbucks as the premier purveyor of the finest coffee in the world while maintaining thier uncompromising principles while they grow."

and it was just super great, because I had this conversation with my manager about values and that sort of thing, and, I know it's corney and no one really cares, but they have some awesome values for thier employees, and I really agree with them and these values and the mission are really what drew me to say yes after the interview.. Not that a job was basically bieng handed to me, cause it was, but because I honestly felt like this would be a positive environment for me to work in, and it just lined up with some of my values and stuff like that..
So they have six core values, and they are :

1. Provide a great work environment and treat each other with respect and dignity.

2. Embrace diversity as an essential component in the way we do business.

3. Apply the highest standards of excellence to the purchasing, roasting and fresh delivery of our coffee.

4. Develop enthusiastically satisfied customers all of the time.

5. Contribute positively to our communities and our environment.

6. Recognize that profitability is essential to our future success.

So yeah.. Overall, Im just happy with the way things seem to be run at starbucks, with the values and mission, with the way they treat thier employees and customers, and with the whole working environment. I will admit, working at starbucks isn't going to be an easy job with no stress or problems, but hey - you can't expect that from any job, or you're living in a dream world.. So that's what up -

Peace and Love for today and always

Ashley
Xoxo

PS. I also found out that Sara, my manager, worked at the same wrap zone that mike worked at, probably around the same time! She said she thinks she remembers, but it was like 6 or 7 years ago.. Anyways.. that's that for that. I hope y'all have a great day, or night, whenever it is you read this.. Love you all

Whos getting married?

HA HA
I Dreamed about my "cousin" getting married and I was trying so desperately to get out of going to the wedding, and my grandma was getting pissed off at me and it was just overall amusing.

I hate scary dreams

Ok I had the CRAZIEST SCARIEST MOST RIDICULOUSLY RANDOM dream I've EVER had in my whole life..

So.. Im driving in Calgary - with Julie Jamieson - when all of a sudden - these twisters - tornadoes - like 10 of them - start up.. and those things are like my worst fear come true, for real! So randomly Im in this car, and these things are coming at us - and one picks us up and all of a sudden, Julies gone and im walking around with my Grandmother! We are on the phone with mike who's with Cara in his Old Car - and then we loose him on the cel (musta been those dern tornadoes) and then Grandma and I get into this building - she decides she wants to take the elevator - and Im like - not a good idea, and as soon as she gets in there, the building tilts over, and im up and climbing sideways outside a window - then I find micheal - we're walking down the streets of calgary avoiding these buildings that are just toppling over (FRIG THIS WAS A SCARY DREAM) and mike and I take shelter in another building - and he decides to be an idiot and go into the elevator, and as Im pulling so hard on his arm to get him to stay out of it, I wake up - Obviously there was more to this scary dream, but this is all I can remember. Like SOOOO MESSED UP!

I dont even know what to say aside from I HATE TORNADOES AND FRIG!

Ok Im cool -

Im gonna go to bed now - tomorrows my last day without work - then monday tuesday im working, wednsday I have youth, thursday friday saturday im working, and sunday im helping with a fundraiser at KMS tools.. Im gonna die.. inbetween all of this my aunt from Michigan is here and I gotta spend time with her, as well as tomorrow my grandma, aunt, uncle and thier three kids are coming over for dinner, and sometime this week I'd also like to see my boyfriend - man Im gonna be busy..

Anyways - im out for now

MUCH LOVE
Shle
Xoxo

Reality

These past few weeks at home have really been eye-opening for me. Not only have things changed here, but I have changed as well.
Ever since my trip to Mexico, upon which I base my change, things have been soo good. Ok, so my dad is sick, and that's been really hard to deal with, but now I feel I can deal with it in a more positive and encouraging way, both for me and my family. Instead of dealing with it by hiding in my room and my music, as I once would have, I think I have learned to face it head on. There is not much I can do about my dad's sickness, but instead of returning it with anger, I have tried to deal with it in a patient and loving manner. Of course, Im not nearly perfect, and I have snapped at my dad now and then, today even.. But I've noticed now that it's getting better.
I look back now and realize that I did not deal with my moms sickness well at all. I remember writing in my journal, something along the lines of never bieng able to deal with it at all. I wonder how bad things would be in this house if I chose not to deal with my dad's as well.. at least when mom was sick, I had mike living at home and able to help me out of trouble and to shut me up when nessicary. But as I said - things are different now. True, I am older, I have learned alot since those days, some things good, some I learned from heartache. But I have learned.
When I was in Mexico, I often spent hours at a time in silence, just thinking my life over. There were so many things I could see that needed to change, and I finally took those final steps to change them. Over the past year, I've been saying "yeah, I need to change," but never doing anything about it..
I am so thankful that I finally was able to move on from the life I lead these last two years, hopefully into the person that God has called me to be.. Or at least closer to that person..

This is a scattered entry, but it comes from me. I figure if you're reading this, you know me, and so it makes at least a little bit of sense..

I love ya, thanks for reading..

Love always
Ashley
Xoxo

In Christ Alone, my hope is found
he is my light, my strenght, my song
this cornerstone, this solid ground
firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
when fears are calmed, when strivings cease,
My comfortor, my all in all,
Here in the love of Christ I stand

what dreams are made of

Yesterday, I had my first ever vegetarian thanksgiving. It was pretty sweet, actually, I had scalloped potatoes, Corn and Yams. Mom made ham, but I just wanst feeling it. So Yeah that was a random little tidbit I wanted to share with you.

Today I was visiting my mom at her work, and when I stepped outside to leave, I saw behind my car, a deer and her baby fawn! It was sooooooo friggen cool, and I fed them an apple, and some cheezies that I had in my car! The momma deer actually ate out of my hand. It was the coolest experience ever.

That's all for today.

I love life, it's pretty sweet..

yeah so peace out, I hope your thanksgivings were uber cool


Love always
Ashley
Xoxo

How great is our God?

I honestly don't think that we humans can even comprehend the answer to that question (how great is our God?) there is no end to his greatness, his power, and his amazing love for us.

I was just looking at a few pictures of nature, and just thinking about a time when I climbed Black Tusk in Squamish with my Geography 12 class, and how when I was standing ontop of that mountian, I felt like I was ontop of the world. I felt at that moment like there was nothing I wanted to do more than to Worship my creator, the one who made the heavens and the earth, and the one who knows the number of hairs on my head. The one who knew me before I was born. The one who loves me no matter what foolishness I get up to..

God is sooo good..

Without God, there is no hope.. Im glad that I have hope..

xoxo

Alexisonfire

Wow last night was intense-crazy.
I was in the front of the crowd at the Croation Cultural Center for the first two sets, A band called "Cancer Bats" and another one called "Attack in Black" Either way it was interesting. The place was absoloutely full of Emo kids and boys with long hair and tight pants. (This will never be ok with me) Anyways, most of you know what it's like to go to concerts where people like to jump around and be crazy.. I have bruises on both of my arms, the size of baseballs. It's friggen ridiculous. As soon as Alexisonfire actually came on the stage, things got too intense for me up there, and I could barely breathe, I felt like I was drowning. I know this is dramatic, but I bet if you were there, you would have felt the same way. I had to get out, and so I pushed and shoved my way to the back of the hall, where I stood out the rest of the concert. I'll admit it, the music wasnt actually that bad. Nothing I would ever go and buy in the store, but I did enjoy it when they weren't screaming. They put on a good show. It was hard to see them through all the smoke in the room (can you say POT? I was worried that if we got pulled over they'd think I was smoking it) but it was an alright concert. It was fun to spend time with Nicole, whom I rarely see..
Anyways.. that's my alexisonfire concert experience. I am very sore right now, from all those Crazy kids (younger than me but taller by a foot) pushing and shoving and elbowing and bieng nuts. Anyways.. that's about all for now..

Except that I've noticed something. While I was in Mexico, I dreamed almost every night. I didnt expect to come back home and start having dreams. I NEVER dream at home.. but I've had at least three random dreams since I've been home. One of them was last night, and just wierd. It revolved alot around Mexico and the people there, but also involved the whole situation with Treston, and just the things he did to me, but they were bieng done by another guy.. It was random.. wierd.. Didnt like it too much.

Anyways.. Much love for now..
Im out - going to Park Royal with my dad, just cause we can..

Love always
Ashley
Xoxo

Here are some Lyrics from Alexisonfire. Very .. Emo? Depressing? Whatever. It's not my scene

This town has its claws buried in my neck
This town, it takes lives, without mercy, without hate
The streets are in distress
The sun suffocates behind darkened skies
The grass is growing on top of my feet
I'm sinking, won't be long, before I'm too deep to run
The line up seems endless
Underneath the salvation signs
We are the dead ones, we are the lost cause
We are the bend before the break.
Our steps seal our fate
Because this city, this city is haunted
By ghosts from broken homes

Im yours

Im such a horrible person.. What kind of girl goes to Mexico for a month and then doesn't blog when she get's home!?
Obviously me..
Anyways, enough of that. Mexico was an interesting experience for real. The first week I spent in a womens shelter, and it was pretty horrible, because I got super sick and things just weren't working out there. So after four days of not eating and all sorts of other nasty illness-like behavior, Sergio Gomez came to pick me up, because Pete had called him from Canada, cause things just weren't bieng taken care of, anyways.. He took me to a doctor, and I had to get all sorts of medicine to make me feel better. At that point, I was ready to be home, in Vancouver, anywhere so long as I wasnt at the shelter anymore.
Sergio asked me if I wanted to spend the rest of my time in the Orphanage, and I said I would give it a try. From there on out, the story is simple. I fell in love with the kids and everything to do with the orphanage. I went with them to get thier school uniforms and shoes, I drove them to school almost every day, (I wasnt 'driving' but I went with them)
Israel and his wife took amazing care of me, they took me to Rosarito, where I spent the afternoon with them at "Fox Studios Baja", where Titanic was filmed, and X-men and all that stuff.. it was sooooo great.
I also spent a couple of days in Ensenada, with Israels family, which was just as great, if not better than fox studios. Either way, it was great. I ate mexican food, I learned alot of Spanish, I worked very hard to avoid the very cute boys who were soooo hard to resist..
To sum it all up, because I dont want to write a 20 page update (not right now anyways) I fell absoloutely in love with that childrens home, the kids, the staff, everything. As of right now, Im planning to go back, if not for the whole summer, at least for a month. Something like that.
God will provide if he wants me there.

Umm so whats new in my life? Today I went to Capilano College and asked about application procedures, and the guy in the Registrars office said, as I was leaving, "welcome to Cap College" and i was thinking .. "Dude, I havent even applied.. That's pretty sweet"
So, if things go well, I'll be going there in January.

Also, I got a job at Starbucks.. It's rather amusing, I went to the Park and Tilford location, and asked for an application, and the manager asked me if I'd be willing to apply at the Dollarton location (which is 10 minutes closer to my house) She called the manager at that store, and told her my name.. I went there around one o'clock with a filled out application form and a resume, and Sara (the manager) asked me if I could stay for an interview right then.
To be honest, it was the best interview I've ever had, I felt relaxed, and the questions were not easy, but at the same time, I thought them through before I answered, and I did really well. I must have, because she offered me a job right then and there. I start next week. Im excited, because it's something different, but at the same time, it's something I know I'll enjoy doing.

Also, I am going to be working on youth staff, which is going to be interesting for sure. We'll have to see how that goes. I mean, my last couple of years at NSA youth were really frustrating, but I hope this year I can have patience and just adjust to the way things are, and if im not ok with it, Pray about it and do what's right.. anyways, we'll see how that goes..

Im really excited right now cause Whit's coming home for the weekend, and then Im going to see her at Universtiy next weekend, cause it's almost her birthday..

Anyways.. that's a short update on my life at the moment.
I missed blogging! I think I'll do it more often ..

Love you all
Love Forever
Shle
Xoxo

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved
So, i won't hesitate no more,
it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate
our time is short
this is our fate,
i'm yours

Beautiful One

I´ve decided to blog about the people at the shelter, and thier random habits or traits.

but first I want to say that I love this internet Cafe.. Every time I come in he has English christian music playing. It´s so encouraging. Right now he has ¨Blessed Be the Name of The Lord¨Playing. It´s sooo good. I really love it..

Ok so people and random Charachter Traits..

First of all, there is one mom who is at the shelter, who has the longest hair I´ve ever seen, and the brightest smile. Wanna know why she has the brightest smile? CAUSE SHE´S GOT GRILLS!! hahahah for those of you who dont know what Grills are, they are somehting you put over your teeth, and they´re gold, silver, platinum, whatever you want.. Usually people who think they´re cool like gangsters get them.. It´s funny. Anyways, I still haven´t caught her name, but she has two kids, named Papito and something Spanish like Naomi or something.. I havent caught it. Anyways, those two kids look more vietnamese than Mexican. But it´s cool. They´re cute kids.

Then there´s America. She´s 11 months old. Randomly, she likes to scrunch up her nose and make wierd noises. She´s cute, I´ve got pics of her doing that..

Next Is a little boy, Named Chi-Chi.. That name is funny in itself, if you know what Im talking about. Most of you won´t however. So Chi-Chi has three amusing traits. 1. He likes to call me Chely cause I dont think He can say Ashley ... 2. If he doesnt have food all over his face and hands, he has snot.. all the time.... 3. His pants are always halfway down his thighs.. He´s crazy!

Then there´s Mirasol, who actually left today. She reminds me of a friend of my mom´s, named Margaret. She´s tiny like her, and has long black hair, and she has three kids. Two of them are the brattiest I´ve ever met, and one of them is uber cute. Her kids names, in Chronological order, are Suzanna, Angel, and Angeles.. Girl, boy, Girl.. Brat, brat, adorable.. That´s how it goes.

Then there´s Yolanda! I love it because last time I was here, there was a woman on our team named Yolanda, and we had this discussion about how her name is very uncommon..
So yeah. She is a mom, and her trait is that I have never seen her hair.. She always has a bandanna or a hat on her head.. ít makes me curious.. but it´s cool..

There are more people here, but those are the ones so far who stand out to me..


This morning I was thinking alot. I was thinking about my mom.. I guess it´s cause of all the moms i see around here, right ¿ Anyways, i was thinking about how much I love her, and how much I want to be like her when I am a mom.. I want to have a little girl and do all the things my mom did with me. I want to color with her, I want to read with her, I want to watch disney movies with her, I wantg to walk with her to and from school, I want to have picnic lunches with her at the park, I want to build a fire on a rainy night and eat chineese food from the take out.. I want to make Christmas crafts and hang them on the tree, and make her proud of them.
I want to go to Cultis Lake every summer and to Ioco on saturdays in the summer.
I really love my mom.. I miss her alot right now, I guess bieng around all these kids with thier moms do that. I miss bieng a little girl.. My mom was awesome.. she still is..

LOVE YOU MOM! (I love you too Dad)

Im out for now..

Love alway s
Ashley
xoxo

crazy

Wow it´s crazy that I am back in Tijuana again.

However this time it´s so different. I dont know why I expected it to be the same, this time I´m on my own in a womens shelter. I am the only one who speaks any english.

And as of right now, I have the flu.. Oh man.. this is not good.

these kids are bratty, but Im dealing with it.

It´s been a good experience for me, I think, bieng the only one who doesnt speak Spanish, cause it´s taught me to be still and to talk to GOD. To be still and Know that even though I feel alone, He is with me..

Anyways.. I´ll write more later, I have to get back to the shelter.

Peace out

Umm Im back ..?

So I´m back in Mexico..
This time it´s so different! I dont even know how to start describing it. I am living and working in a womens shelter. There are about seven women and all thier kids, which is about 20.. Yeah so it´s interesting for real. Anyways.. It´s kind of like I got thrown in there, Sara took me to an orphanage, where she ¨Gave¨ me to her sister, who took me to the shelter and left me there. You wouldnt believe it! there isnt a soul at the Shleter who speaks any enlgish.. So That´s why I feel sort of alone, you know?

BUT im not ever gonna say that God left me, cause I just walked into this internet cafe, and the guy behind the counter has the newsboys playing.. Ok not my favourite Christian band, but encouraging all the same..
Anyways.. I am going to make this short, cause this internet isnt freeee!

Love you all... Email me if you get the chance, I would love to hear from you ..

Love always
Ashley
xoxo

It's a beautiful day today

The ending of that crazy chapter

T --

Here we lay, face to face once again
Silence cuts like a knife as we pretend
And I'm wondering who will be the first
To say what we both know
We're just holding on to could have beens
That we should be letting go

It feels like you're a million miles away
As you're lying here with me tonight
And I can't even find the words to say
I can't find a way to make it right
and We both know that the stories ending
We play the part but we're jsut pretending
And I can't hide the tears
Cause even though you're here
It feels like you're a million miles away

Was it me or was it you that broke away
What we were was like the seasons
Love has changed
And everytime I think about it
It tears me up inside
Like the rivers of emotions
But I got no more tears to cry

We can try to talk it over
But we've walked that road before
Boy our song has played its last note
and we both know for sure
That it's time to close that door

It feels like you're a million miles away
As you're lying here with me tonight
And I can't even find the words to say
I can't find a way to make it rightand
We both know that the stories ending
We play the part but we're jsut pretending
And I can't hide the tears
Cause even though you're here
It feels like you're a million miles away

Fine thanks, How are you?

i have to make this relatively short, because of a few reasons..

3. I am uber tired (we just got back from vermilion, another post for another time)

2. I am wet (just got out of the shower)

and the number one reason that I have to keep this short

1. I have on fake nails, which make typing virtually impossible.. . but they're fun..

So im going to Tijuana in seven days, and I also sort of am seeing this guy.. his name is Gerald. I like Gerald.. so It's kind of exciting..
Like i said before.. another post for another time..

Love Forever: shle
xoxo

Sooo wow

So in another nineteen days, Im going back to Tijuana..

Tijuana, Vermilion

So I called Sara today.. Looks like I'll be going to Tijuana from september to october... HOLY!
That's uber exciting.

So yeah.. I'm headed back, I just gotta get all the little things planned.. Such as.. a plane ticket..
But you know, I'll be staying in the womens shelter, so i'll be sleeping and eating and all that for free.. It'll be great. I don't know what I'll be doing, but I'll be there.

We leave on sunday for Vermilion, it'll be good. Hopefully my brother and Sister in law will be uber nice to me and bring the Nintendo.. :)

I got my dress fixed for the wedding, so it fits and is pretty (if you like pink, which most normal people do) and yeah it's gonna be great..

Woooo

Love always
Ashley
Xoxo

We're Baaaaack

It was a long three days on the road, but this time It was broken up a bit by a stop in Disneyland. It was fun, but at the same time, just so retardedly hard for me to deal with, because Selene and Sophia, and all those beautiful little girls in TJ, have a beach that's 20 minutes from thier house.. and they've never been to it. It just made me sad to think that I have all this luxury and they have nothing. But I dont know, anyways, I learned from a talk with Sara Gomez (Sergios Daughter) that I can't be disgusted with what I have, but thankful for it.. As well as realizing that I have what I have for a reason, and that I cannot be number one, Other people are more important..
I contacted Sara today, infact, fourty minutes ago, and she wrote me back right away.. I asked her if I could come to Tijuana for a month in the fall to volunteer in her shelter.. She wrote me back with a phone number and said YES! So I need to work this out, I'm kind of excited, I didn't think I'd be going back to TJ so fast, but the way things are going, it seems like I might.... That's awesome, na true?!
Anyways, things arent set in stone but hopefully things go as planned.. But hahah remember the whole thing with plans, and not to depend on them, so yeah I've learned my lesson, we'll just see how things go..

PEACE OUT GANGSTER

Mexico So Far

Hola once again!

Saturday , for me personally, was a wonderful day..God really blessed us , for as we arrived at the worksite, there was fog and cloud cover and a nice breeze to keep us cool. We prayed that the cloud cover would last for the day, and God answered that prayer and we were comfortable the whole day.

We started four new houses, three in the same area as before, and one a bit farther away.. The one that was farther away, is for a woman and her daughter, who has Lukemia, and they've been living in a van.. actually, we didn't know about this particular lady until we were halfway down to mexico, and Pedro recieved a phone call about her, seeing if we could do something for her. It turns out we're building her a house.. It's wonderful.. We met her on saturday morning, , and her daughter, and for many of us, it was unbelievable to see a little girl with Lukemia, who had so much joy in her heart.

Anyways.. We started our four houses, and we got four or five walls (one inside) out up by the end of it all.. It was a productive day. Tayne, Dara and I spent alot of the day with a group of girls who live in the community, and we had a real bonding sort of day with them. It's difficult to imagine, I guess, bonding with someone you can't really communicate with, but for us it was easy. We started out with all of us painting, which was a blast, because the little girls got right into it. then we ran around with them for awhile, playing soccer (football) until our ball found it's way under the tires of a truck, and then popped. :(
Then we started, somehow, on the subject of boys.. it turns out that some of the little girls think that the boys on our team are "Guappo" which, when spelled correctly, means "Good Looking"so we talked about boys in broken spanish for a good couple of hours, the girls tried to hook us up with each other, and all in all it was quite alot of fun. at one point, the girls started chanting the name of one of our boys, and he looked up from his work, and blew them a kiss, which in turn, made them all scream and jump and try to hide behind us.. It was quite the day.
At one point during the day, we were making the frame for the porch we were building, and all the little girls took turns driving the nails into the wood. I took alot of pictures of them doing it, and it was fabulous, we can say that our porch was built by that group of little girls..

Then, a young boy with a horse came down the road, and we somehow managed to all get rides on the horse, Tayne and Dara, and then Me with a little three year old girl. It was a fun day overall..

Sunday Came, and we got up for breakfast around eight thirty (We really got to sleep in) and all got dressed up and ready for church.. Here, it's practically unheard of for a man to show up at church in shorts, so Pedro came out of his room in a long pair of pants, and we all Applauded him, and laughed, it was good fun. All the girls wore skirts and shirts with sleeves, and we headed out to Church.. It was by far the most amazing church I have ever been to. We all sat in one area, along with some other non-mexican people, and we were surrounded by translators. The music.. was AMAZING! So upbeat, so loud, so joyful! They had a full band, and a full choir, complete with ladies who danced around with tamborines and streamers. It was the most wonderful, happy worship session I have ever been a part of. They even sang a song we knew, although it was in Spanish.. It was "We want to see Jesus lifted High".. Oh we had so much fun!For the message, the wife of the pastor spoke about how we are were set free from Slavery, just as Abe Lincon set free the slaves in his day, Jesus set free the slaves across the world yesterday, today and tomorrow. But she spoke also about how some slave owners kept the slaves ignorant to the law, and kept them as slaves, just as some of us are still slaves. But we have the power, through Jesus Christ to be set free, if only we would take it..
Wow, it was a wondeful Service. Afterwards, we talked with our interpreter, who was a wonderful woman, and who was very interested in what we were doing for the people of Tijuana..After Church, we all headed across the street to Carls Jr, a hamburger resturaunt, and it was a good time for all, as we sat together and discussed the upcoming carnival for the afternoon, and the service in the morning.

After a huge lunch (they make GIGANTIC burgers in Mexico!) we headed back to the College and many of us slept for a couple of hours, before waking up and heading out to our carnival, in a place called Olympia, where the youth group held thier carnival when they came here two years ago..
It started out slow, then Pastor Hosea asked us young people to walk about the neighborhood, advertising for the carnival.. Of course, none of us speak Spanish, so it was very difficult, but we managed to get a group of kids following us from a distance, until we showed them a soccer ball, and they came running to play with us.. It was a ton of fun. We had a live band, and hundreds of balloons, face paint, hot dogs, sodas, and little bags full of goodies for the kids. It was very well recieved, and when Dr. Hosea spoke to the crowd, one woman came forward and gave her life to Christ! It was an amazing experience, and we all just loved it to bits! I'm sure we'll all have tons of pictures to show you when we get home.On the way home from the carnival, we stopped and ordered nine gigantic pizzas, which were amazing, and only cost about 10$ each. and that was it for sunday!

We woke up Monday morning and all we could hear was the steady dripping of rain.. So we wander around for about fourty minutes, while Pedro and everyone decides what to do, and they thought it would be a good idea to pack up all the clothes we had gathered for the childrens home, and bring it out to them. So we did, and saw a little bit of the home, and then headed back to the bible college, to find that the rain had stopped, and so we went out to work! It was a beautiful day for building, with just the right amount of clouds to keep us covered from the brutal sun, and just the right breeze to keep us cool. We got a whole lot of work done too!

After our day at the worksite, we all came home and had some dinner, just in time for Sergio to come and talk to us and share his testimony.. It was fabulous! He brought Oscar (who is so incredibly hot) with him and Martin, and it was a great night. Oscar plays guitar, and so after Sergio's testimony he borrowed my dad's guitar and played for us for a long time. It was heavenly.. ohhhh man was it even heavenly.. It was a really fun night, I enjoyed myself.. Im gonna miss this place when I leave! :(

Tuesday was just another day at the jobsite. We got a ton of stuff done, but also were distracted by Sophia, Selene, Shima, Lucy, Anna, and Maria.. Those beautiful little girls! Ahhh
So yeah.. tuesday was just average..

As I predicted, yesterday was a very difficult day, as we had to say goodbye to all the kids on the worksite. two nites ago, after I wrote the update, I made some cards for the little girls, and figured out how, In Spanish, to tell them how much I love them and will miss them and how we have to go back home, and won't see them again. So we gave the cards to the younger girls, who were sort of confused, and were more interested in the pretty flowers and hearts we drew on the paper than the words. We figured that was fair enough, they're young, these things don't phase them. But as soon as I gave Selene her card, (she's 12) she stood there reading it and crying, and then for the rest of the day, didn't let go of us, and cried on and off. It was really hard to deal with.
What made it alot harder was the fact that Sophia, one of the girls, was scheduled to leave that day to go to the states to live with her grandparents, and so Selene had to say goodbye to her as well. So it was a really sad day for her, and us as well.We finished our houses, and we even built a ramp for ours, because the lady who's moving in has a grandson who is in a wheelchair.. It was so nice. I can't wait to get home and post my pictures on here for you all to see! After we dedicated the three houses, we all hopped in our vehicle of choice, and went to the next site, where Noel and his team were building. It just so happened that Sergio offered me and Dara and Tayne a ride in the back of his pick-up truck, which was SOOOOO FUN! And what made it even more fun was the fact that On the way, Sergio stopped the Truck and a whole load of young, cute mexican boys hopped on the back with us.. Ohhhh man.. Oscar, and Martin.. mmm it was great..

So we dedicated all the houses, then, on the way home, stopped in at the City of Angels childrens home, where Brynn is going to be spending the next three weeks. It was amazing, to go in there, and all of a sudden have a dozen children all around you, willing to hug you, willing to be friends with you, even though you've just met them. I think Brynn will do so well there, it's going to be wonderful for her, but difficult at the same time, to be there all alone!

Yesterday was Jon's birthday, he turned fifteen, so we had a Mexican Fiesta! Complete with a mexican meal, cooked by Lupe's family, and a pinyata (I dont know how to spell that, oops!) and just some great fun! The pinyata thing was shaped like Piglet, and I refused to watch it get killed. IT was so cute! awww poor piglet.. but anyways it was a ton of fun, and today, we're headed out to the worksite from last year, so it should be fun. Im sure I'll write again soon

Im headed home tomorrow!

Much Love and kisses
Shle
xoxo

"I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day
When It's cold outside
I've got the month of may
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (Guy, ahhah)"

PTL!!!!!

Today was our fourth day on the jobsite. First day, we built the foundation for the house, and two walls. Second day, we did the other two walls, the loft, and the rafters for the roof. Third day, we sheeted the roof and shingled it, and trimmed the house, built a porch and a ladder to get into the loft. Today, we finished shingling the roof, finished the trim, finished the drywall inside and put electricity in the houses. Today we finished the houses, and dedicated them to God, which all in all, was a very powerful experience. Pedro's good friend, Sergio, did a mini-sermon in the doorway of each house, speaking both in Spanish and in English, for there was a crowd of each listening. it was one of the most beautiful things anyone could ever see, giving a house over like that, handing the keys to a family.. It was very emotional. Most of us girls had a little Mexican girl in our arms, they warmed up to us very quickly..
Ahhh man it's been fab.. I have to cut this short, and write some official stuff for pedro and jude.


Dad had his surgery today. After I talked to him last night, I cried and I cried and I cried, downstairs, surrounded by a ton of people. It was crazy. Today at the worksite, we prayed every like.. fourty five minutes, no joke. We'd just stop whatever it was we were doing, and we'd hold hands and pray. Sergio prayed in Spanish, it was beautiful. On the way back, we stopped at this seven-eleven type store, and they had phone boxes in them, where you talk and then pay.. a very small amount. I called mom, and Everything went soooo well.. The surgery took half the time they thought it would and everything was BENITO! SOOOO GOOOOOD!
So praise God.. I just about cried when I heard the news..

GOD ANSWERS PRAYER! ALL THE CREDIT TO THIS MIRACLE GOES TO HIM TODAY!

MUCHO GRACIAS EL SEINOR (yeah I can't spell in spanish.. my bad)

I know I said I was gonna go, but heck.. Im sitting up here in Lupe's office using her computer, and it's right next door to a church. There is a choir rehersing in there, and they sound sooo amazing.. Course I can't really understand what they're saying,but it's alllll good..

K peace out

Love Forever Shle
xoxo

Hola from Tijuana

HOLA!
You'll never guess where I am.. Ok mabye you will. So after three long days on the road, here I am, finally! We made it through the border in the early afternoon, and I was definately expecting something a little more.. secure.. But we didnt even have to stop going through the border... Im not joking.. anyways, so here we are.

Today was our first day on the worksite, we started building four out of eight houses.. and we built our foundation and floor, and two walls and framed a third. It's great! When we first arrived, I saw this group of little girls. I took out some balloons (Globos, in spanish) and gave them to the girls. It was super fun, they told me the colors of the balloons in english and spanish, I was impressed.. And this one little girl, named Gabriella, came running up to me afterwards and gave me this huuuuuuge hug.. It was marvelous!

Oh this group of Aussies that we're working with is fab, they're so much fun to chill with. I've learned quite a bit of thier lingo, which is fun.. anyways...

Im having a good time so far. for a first missions trip, it's going quite well.. But we have only just begun.. Anyways, I cant really type alot, cause .. well this computer is crap and I dont want to loose anything.. so yeah..

Im gonna go for now, I miss you all, but Im having a great time building these houses and workin on my tan in the process.. Oh and.. I'll be honest.. these young aussies are quite the hotties. yeah.. it's true.. Even some of the mexicans are lookers, but I cant talk to them, (the whole language barrier thing) so it's kind of awkward.. ok so funny, this kid came on to the worksite, and we totally dont know he can speak English, so for the first half hour, we're trying to talk to him, and finally he bursts out laughing and says something in English, and we were all like.. Whaaat? ! you can speak english!
hahah

Yeah .. it's uber hot here. I love it..

Ok Love to y'all

Peace Out

Ashley

(Anyone know any mexican songs? Feliz Navidad? ahaha.. goodnight all)

Mexico tomorrow

Hey y'all !
Im headed to mexico tomorrow, so this is just to let y'all know, incase you try to contact me and all that jazz. I'll be back on August seventh, it's quite possible that I'll be able to use a computer at least once while I'm down, but we'll have to see.. Mi na go promise nothing

Keep us in your prayers, sil vous plait..

Bless
Ashley
xoxo

My future!???

Hey y'all..

I havent blogged in awhile, it's retarded. I've been really busy, and I know that's my excuse every time, but you know how it goes. So here I am.. It's four days to mexico, and I suddenly can't believe it. It's hard to imagine what it's gonna be like when I'm there, I've got people left and right telling me all about it, but I can't really know until I've crossed the Tijuana border, and I'm there myself. I was totally ready for my Costa Rica trip, I think writing those papers helped alot, so I'm gonna do a little online thinking here, and consider some things.

I've seen pictures of Tijuana, and previous trips, and so I've gained a glimpse into the way it's gonna be. We are all meeting at nine am at doug and pats, and we're leaving from there. On the way down (three whole days) It's gonna be just me, Pete, and a guy named Rob from Austrailia. It's gonna be fun, bieng in the car with two Aussies, both of whom I'm sure will be full of fun stories and useless (?) facts that I wont ever forget. Ahhhh man I'm just ready to go and see this.. I'm ready to go and be a part of this team, I'm ready to get there and build EIGHT houses! I hear we're gonna be up at eight each morning, and going to the worksite, which I hear has a nice view of the ocean. That's exciting. I can't really imagine bieng in the Tijuana that's been described to me, and bieng able to see the ocean. So it'll be interesting.

One thing I've worried about constantly, is the language barrier. I've imagined myself going there, and wanting to talk to the beautiful children that I meet, but not bieng able to say anything to them. That would be frustrating. So I've learned a few little phrases, which I'm excited to try out and have them laugh at my accent.. But it'll be worth it.. Also I've thought that sometimes words arent needed. Sometimes all these kids are going to need is a hug.. and I'll be there with open arms for them.. Im so excited. But I'm so worried that one (Or all) of these kids are going to capture my heart, and I wont be able to leave without great pain..
Mabye this is gonna be God's way of pulling me into missions. It's crossed my mind quite a few times. More often than not.. that's what I think about.

You know what shocked me alot today? at church today Ron and Dorothy talked about thier mission in China, and casually mentioned the law that families can only have one child, and then my mind went to the thought of thousands of little Chineese girls who get put up for adoption every year because families want boys.. I had this random thought that I want to adopt a little chineese girl.. so ... let's see what happens. I mean, I'm way too young to adopt a child, but it's a thought.

Anyways.. things are random for me right now. Im going on a missions trip in a few days. It's going to be amazing.. I'm just here thinking about a million possibilites for my future, and I don't have a clue which way to go or where to start..

So I'm going to go for now, it's been a slice. I'll be writing in my journal in mexico, possibly blogging once or twice (depending on the location or existance of an internet cafe.) and if this doesnt work, expect a blog when I get home. Who knows, mabye God will reveal his plan for me, or at least a little part of it while Im in Mexico..

Please pray for that. I think that if I had any prayer requests, that would be the biggest one. That I would find God's direction for my life.. I want it to be right away, but I also need to learn to wait on Him. Only his timing is perfect.. so here goes nothing..

Love forever : ashley
xoxo

I'm a poor wayfaring stranger
While traveling thru this world of woe
Yet there's no sickness, toil, or danger
In that bright world to which I go
I'm going there to see my Father
I'm going there no more to roam
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home
I know dark clouds will hang 'round me,
I know my way is rough and steep
Yet beauteous fields lie just before me
Where God's redeemed their virgils keep

Calvin

I've only just realized that I havent shown you any actual pictures of Calvin yet, so here he is..
Blog readers, meet Calvin..



Isn't he just darling?

The newest member of the family.. heh heh heh..



Love and Kisses
Ashley
xoxo

God is bigger than
The air I breathe
This world we'll leave
And God will save the day
And all will say
My Glorious

wedding cake, helium and good times..

Well today was a pretty emotional day. I woke up on a random couch at six am, and was like... oh man.. my brother's getting married today.. And so me and my auntie and my uncle and mother went outside (yes, at six am) and made a balloon archway, and "clusters" as auntie ann liked to call them (as she lost half of them into the atmosphere... hahahah im joking) Anyways.. yeah we had some fun and decorated the whole backyard for this crazy wedding! It looked amazing back there, and just as we were finishing things were starting to come together... and when I say things, I mean people, cause all the guests were showing up... Anyways, we're sitting there during the cerimony, and grandma had to lean over and slap me on the arm, and say "HEY THIS ISNT A FUNERAL, STOP CRYING."
I'll admit.. coming from grandma.. that was funny. so I laughed and was still crying and it was stupid, and I dont get it. I dont quite know what I was thinking, just that a million things were racing through my mind, and I was like! AHHHHH THIS IS CRAZY ! So it's all over and done with ... It was a wonderful day overall, we all had a good time together.. Today was one of those family functions where no one actually fought with each other, everyone was pleasant and happy and crying and dying of allergies, but we still had a great time together.
So this afternoon, I was taking a break and holding Sammuel Jukema (Love that kid) and grandma points at me and goes "Three years".. and I'm like.. Huh???? and then she was telling me all about how I had three years to this day in which I have to get married... and so that was random... and then.. oh wait.. it gets better. Grandma told me I had to marry a person from NOVA SCOTIA and I laughed and had to tell her that all the people in Nova Scotia were either related to me, or above the age of fifty, or below the age of ten.. and I proceeded to explain that that situation just wouldnt work out... ahahahahahah great.

So yeah, Im so tired right now, but today was just such a good day.... Oh you know what else was funny? Cara was talking to my aunt, and I just walked up to her, after inhaling half a balloon full of helium, and said "Cara, I just want you to know that Im so glad you're a part of our family now.. so welcome.." and she just about died lauging..
it was great.

OK im going to bed now.. and Nicole is here so it should be interesting.. she's kind of wierd.. and by wierd I mean cool...
Ahahahahah

Love ashley
Xoxo

oh sadness.

You know whats really sad?

after all the fuss to get bertuzzi back to the canucks..... he's gone.. to florida...

Oh man... sorry mike.. and everyone else..

Ick

ARG

LIFE IS SOOOOO STRESSFUL! ! ! !


AHHHHHHHHHHH

if you feel like I havent blogged in a long time...

It's probably because I haven't..

So here I am.. I think that the real reason I haven't blogged in awhile, is because my life is just the same, day in, and day out.. and new developments in my life have just stressed me to the point where I dont want to blog about them..

I go to work every morning around seven fourty five, and open subway.. I'm perfectly content at work, until my boss comes in, then my day goes to shit from then.. I usually end up having some sort of argument with him (Today's was a real winner.. I almost walked out of the store and didnt come back) and then I spend the rest of my work shift ... well.. working.. like crazy, usually because the boss just sits on his ass in the office doing nothing.. so anyways.. then I ususally come home and Im tired, but recent events havent let me take a break, I've come home and helped clean the house and move rooms around, and make things and prepare things for visitors and weddings and just crazy things.. Soooo that's why I havent really had time to do anything like.. blog..

Even now, I have to go put the finishing touches on cleaning this house before my aunt comes from Ontario..

Oh man.. auntie ellie, wedding, surgery, mexico, work, alberta, car, insurance.. things are insane here...


Soooo yeah Peace out

(there's alot more that I want to say but I think I'll leave it, just cause sometimes it's not good to always say whats on your mind.. )

Oh and by the way, I've decided that Rihanna has an amazing voice.. I love all her music.. I downloaded Limewire but had to delete it, cause it made the compter slow like a.... very slow.. thing...

Schales
xoxo

I never should have waited so long to say
What I've always known since the very first day
Thougth that you would stay forever with me
but the time has come to leave
Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes
I'll tell you a secret I've felt all my life
It's you that I live for
and for you I'd die
So I'll lay here with you till the final goodbye

My romance

Look at the way the flowers bloom for you
They want to show you thier beauty
Running waters dance
You and I romance
Unto you be all the glory
The angels dance around you
The earth it sings about you
Open up the heavens lord
Let your kingdom come to earth
my praises all surround you
My soul can't dance without you
Open up the heavens lord
Let your kingdom come to earth
Unto you be all the glory

29 million...Can you Imagine?

and I guess his name might help you.. His name is Sammuel Nicholaas Calvin Jukema.. and he's gorgeous, and I can't wait to go see him again.. Anyways.. These past few days I've been doing alot of thinking, and today was the clincher that made me want to blog about it..

The advertisment for the lottery is something like "29 million.. can you imagine?"
First of all, I'd like to know where the hell all this money comes from, when our govenrment cant afford to give people like teachers a raise, when they really deserve it.. And you know what bugs me about this ? not only the lottery, but radio stations who can give away things like 35,000 dollar prizes (in PLURAL) when there are people starving, not just in places like Africa, but right under our noses. People watch the news, shake thier heads, saying "oh my god, that's horrible," then they go back to thier dinners. (yes, I got that line from Hotel Rwanda, but it's true)
People are dying from things like AIDS, and we can afford to help them, but we dont. How is it that 2% of the worlds population hold 98% of it's wealth, while the other 98% only have about 2% of the money? How is it that people who have the power and the money to change the world, spend it all on pimping thier rides and on gigantic houses and allll on themselves? Listen, If I won the lottery, I'm not saying that I'd give it alll away to a worthy cause, of course, I'd make sure that my family was taken care of first, but then .. I would try and find a way to help people with the rest of it.. No.. I can't imagine 29 million dollars. I can't even Imagine 1 million dollars.. Think for a minute what even the smallest amount, one thousand, would do for a family in africa.. Think what even one hundred would do for a child in need.
our society is soooo selfish, it's unbelievable.. and yeah, Im including myself in this.. After all, It's me who keeps saying that one day I want to buy a denali.. Hey .. Do I need one of those? Could I use that money for something better? Could I make a difference with that money?
You know what I think? We have so that we can help those who have not..

I just wish that the rest of the world felt the same way.. You know what's crazy? This is how I feel before even seeing what I'm going to see in Mexico.. I wonder how I'm gonna feel when I get back.. I guess We'll have to wait and see..

God has blessed us in so many ways, but sometimes we can't see past the here and now and look at the big picture. You know what, life is crappy for me now.. alot of you know that.. But It could be a whole lot worse. When I thought that God had forgotten us, all I really had to do was just step back and admire his work.. I gotta learn to be thankful for what I have.. Cause believe it or not, I have a hell of alot...

God provides for us so that we can provide for others..

IT'S A BOY! !

Hey whats up, just dropping a note to let the world know that DUANE AND JENNIFER JUKEMA had a little BABY BOY at NINE THIS MORNING!

I FINALLY, AFTER FOUR YEARS OF WAITING (HA HA) GOT TO HOLD THE JUKEMA BABY! WOOOOOOOO!

yesterday once more

Standing in sunbeams
walking on lines
Nothing will make me
Forget all those times

When the start of each morning
Brought nothing but joys
Meant a day to be spent
outside with my toys

When late in the evening,
Darkness would fall
and I'd sit in dad's lap
cause I was so small

when lunchtime at school
meant picnics with Mom
crazy fun playtimes
Then unsettling calm

when everything was
Just so clear and so true
and I didnt have to worry
about hurting you

Though I wont forget them
Those days are long gone
now I sit here and wonder
Why we're moving on

why suddenly your world
Doesnt' involve me
and why I don't climb anymore
To the top of the tree

I sit here and wonder
Where the innocence has gone l
ike I used to wonder
how God made the dawn..

Sometimes I just feel
So lost and so wasted
like a an old and full bottle
That nobody tasted.

Today, life is just like
One of those days
where no matter what happens
Seems like everyone pays..

Back in the day (a month ago?!)

Today was a day that reminded me of my life back in calgary..
Noooo, I didn't hang out with a bunch of gangsters.. Rather, I took a nice hot bath, complete with a candle and music, (not the phone, tho, ha ha) and for supper, I cut up some chicken, and made a wrap just like I used to with Crystal and Shaunna back in the day! Mmmm it was soo good!
And after that, I called Shaunna cause I missed her, and so .. today is just a calgary day.. In general!

That's really all I have to say about that.. Im tired, I've been working like crazy! Soooo
much love

Shle
Xoxo

them love chat too much

The best nerosurgeon she could reccomend
Suddenly doesn't know a bloodclaat thing
All the while she is too emotionally involved..

One tumor
Two Tumors
One tumor
Two a dem...

Cancer, not cancer..
Not cancer.. cancer...

"Please leave your emotions at the door,
They are not requred to make this decision"
sometimes emotions are the best thing
Can you guarantee that this wont hurt him?

All I need is my dad to be around
a little while longer

Please tell us what is true, not what you think
Please find something you can agree on

Next week, next month? Next year?
figure this out -- and let us know only when you're positive..

Stop guessing and pretending you know

I can't play this game anymore..
Up and Down, back and forth.....
Right and wrong
Too Close and Too far
Insane and Hearing voices

Everything's blurred, so many people saying so many things..

All I want to know is the truth, and how we can fix it..

Footlong? yeah right...

sooooo it finally happened. A guy was cocky enough to respond in a dirty manner to the question I am forced to ask at work... "Footlong or six inch?"
THe man looks at me, winks, and then says... "Guess..."

And I blushed and I was so embarassed, and I couldn't look him in the face afterward.. Imagine me, the most not-shy girl ever, blushing at a dirty joke.. then again, I didnt know the man, so I guess that makes sense...

AWKWARD!!!!


Ok That's my bit for now.. I'm going to go see X-Men III...


RESPECT ALWAYS

Shle
Xoxo

See it burning in my eyes,
Don't want words,
Don't want no lies,
They say more than what is spoken,
Promises always get broken,
Feels so lonely,
Won't you show me,
Where I need to be
You bring me to life.

Give Unto Me

this is me, slipping slightly and slowy back into my old ways of poetry, evanescence, reading and writing.. It's my world, where I can be who I want to be.. where I can talk out my frustrations, hurt and depression.. However.. I dont want to be depressed right now..
I need to be strong in this time, but I think that my mistake in the past was depending on myself alone for strength.. I wanted to fix my own problems, I didn't want any help from anyone...
Ever since I've been back from school, I've seen a community such as I've never seen before. People saying they'll pray, and actually meaning it.. People coming by with flowers, cards, just to say hi.. People paying for things.. People crying when they see our pain..
It means something to me now when people hug me and ask how my dad is.. I guess before, I never thought anyone actually cared.. But I know they do.. God has put some amazing people in my life at the moment.. Im very grateful for them..

I can make it thru this, but I cannot do it alone..
I think that this time will be different. I am willing to admit that I cann't deal with this on my own...

I've been watching you from a distance

The distance sees through your disguise

All I want from you is your hurting

I want to heal you

I want to save you from the dark

Give unto me your troubles

I'll endure your suffering

Place onto me your burden

I'll drink your deadly poison

Alberta Bound????

So... I was lying in my bed, fast asleep at five in the morning on the twentieth of May.. All of the sudden, a light flicks on, which causes me to turn around, see three figures walking down the stairs, but I was so sleepy, I decided that they didn't matter, so I covered my head and tried to get back to sleep..
All of the sudden, I hear "ASHLEY, WAKE UP, IT'S SNOWING!" followed by a laugh from both mom and Cara.. Then I was like.. "OH MY GOD", for without turning, I recognized the voice of my brother... I looked, and said "Oh my GOD" again.. then I covered my head again, for I was really confused... But I dont think it was my fault, you see.. When you shock someone like that at five in the morning, only you are to blame for thier confusion..
So Mike and Cara were here for the weekend, and it was fabulous to have them here.
Without realizing it entirely, I missed my brother alot..
What made me want to talk about that? Well recently, I scanned about 150 pics of my brother for him to choose from for his wedding slideshow.. That was an emotional enough time, but then I decided tonight to listen to the song that he is using for it, while looking thru the pics..

Ummm I'll admit it.. I cried.. I think this is the first time that it actually hit me.. My brother is getting married...

That's wierd.. I think I'll miss him even more when he's not just my family, but part of Cara's..

Umm yeah.. Im really tired... THis blog is kind of scatter-brained, but I had this thought and so here I am, all sentimental.. I love my brother... I was looking through my old diaries from when i was a kid, and one of the entries said "Mike is being annoying today! He's making up words that ARENT EVEN REAL!!!!"
I think I miss him... alot.. It's like he's already gone and married.. Hmm...

Mike, just so you know, that slideshow is going to have your WHOLE ENTIRE FAMILY bawling thier eyes out, if they arent already cried out from the wedding itself..

And it's not necessarily a bad thing.. We're just gonna miss you... alot..


xoxoxoxo

a better son or daughter

sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move.
awake, but cannot open my eyes.
and the weight is crushing down on my lungs, i know i can't breathe.
and hope someone will save me this time.
and your mother's still calling you insane and high
swearing it's different this time.
and you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
and that God never blessed her insides.
then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
and crawl back into bed to dream of a time
when your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
like the sick and the dying.

and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on
and your friends they sing along and they love you.
and the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
and it teases you for weeks in its absence.

but you'll fight and you'll make it through
you'll fake it if you have to
and you'll show up to work with a smile
you'll be better and you'll be smarter
and more grown up
and a better daughter or son
and a real good friend
and you'll be awake, you'll be alert, you'll be positive though it hurts
and you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
you'll be a real good listener, you'll be honest, you'll be brave
you'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful.
you'll be happy.

your ship may be coming in.
you're weak, but not giving in
to the cries and the wails of the valley below.
and your ship may be coming in.
you're weak, but not giving in.
and you'll fight it, you'll go out fighting all of them.



rilo kiley.

Learning Lessons???

Sooooooo remember how I was all like.. I'm gonna quit subway and blah blah blah...? well doesn't look like that's gonna happen anymore..

I think it's ironic that I said the thing I learned this year was that God's in control, and I shouldn't really rely on my own plans....

IT'S REALLY STARTING TO GET ANNOYING, Y'HEAR?

I really wish that God would stop fucking with my plans and leave my dad and family alone...

I guess I'm just ranting..... I know that everything is for the best.. sometimes it's just hard to deal with... I know that God is going to take care of us and provide for us... Sometimes it just feels good to FREAK THE HELL OUT!

Ok I'm cool..

Respect Always
Shle
Xoxo

Fast Cars and freedom

I think that if I get that job with Cove, today was God's way of telling me that I dont need to work for Ranjit anymore.. That was my way of telling you that today was a really challenging day. Not working at subway, that's pretty much a breeze, I've been at it for two years.. No, it's not subway that's the challenge.. It's Ranjit.. (My boss)
I opened up the store with no problems or hassles. Then the boss came in, and everything went downhill from there. He started his shift by questioning eveything I had done, and everything I was doing after that.. If that wasnt bad enough, his son came in.. That's frustrating, not because of his son, but because of what Ranjit allows. His son is in grade eight, and every day, he comes up from school and gets a free sandwich. Now, that's not a big deal, right? his Dad owns the place, it's no biggie.. But the reason that it bothers me, is because of the sign he put up in the back room. It says, in no uncertian terms, if anyone is caught givng any food from the store to friends or family, then they will be fired.. This includes employee meals.. It frustrates me because he says one thing for his employees and then turns around and does the opposite. IT's like one of those "Do as I say, not as I do" things.. It's a complete double standard.. and that's not the only thing.. He's strict on the uniform. Black shoes, black pants, shirt, hat and apron.. Guess who comes into work each day with jeans and who doesnt wear hat or apron while working in the front? You got it.. The boss. It's really hard to deal with stuff like that. I think that if he expects something from his employees, then he should show consideration, and follow his own rules.
Another frustrating aspect of working with the boss, is that he is constantly talking about other employees, and I dont like it.. First of all, one of the people who works there is my friend, and every time he complains about her, I'm forced to listen to him bitch her out behind her back, and I dont like it. When I told him that today, he got really upset, and said that I was siding with my friend, just because she's my friend.. I had to explain that I wasn't siding with anyone, simply that I didnt want to hear about her from him..
Wait.. it gets better.. wanna hear something creepy? Ranjit sits at home on his computer, to his own confession, and watches the security cameras at the store.. I don't like that at all. It makes me feel like he doesn't trust me at all, and I just don't like working under that pressure, knowing that he's probably watching everything I'm doing. grrr..
Ok one more thing.. I was taking an order today, and the customer ordered a certian type of bread. I gave it to him, and then when he left, Ranjut got mad at me, saying that I was supposed to use up the old bread first. I said we didnt have any leftover of the kind the customer asked for, and Ranjit said that I'm supposed to lie to the customer, and tell him I only have whatever the old bread is until it's gone. You get me? sorry, that's a bit confusing.. Anyways.. I refuse.. I told my boss that working there to me, is more than just making money, and I treat the customers how I'd like to be treated. It's not fair for him to ask me to do any less.. Let alone asking me to lie to them.. No, I wouldn't...
Today was just a really frustrating day for me.. Working for him is really pushing my buttons, and I found myself loosing patience more than once, which I know isn't good.. I don't want to work for someone who has no respect for me or his customers..
I feel like I'm done with him... But I'll have to see, I can't just quit without some other kind of security..

Anyways.. On a lighter note, Im buying my car on Sunday.. at least, I think I am... Anyways, It's a chevy Corsica, and I'm super excited. It looks exactly like this pic, except it's green..
Whitney has decided that it's a boy, and now all we have to do is name it..
And pimp it out.. It already has a CD player, so let's hope the speakers are good... All I need is some dice for the mirror, spinners, chrome.. HAHAH YEAH RIGHT..... It's a nintey two corsica.. I'll just stop at the beads.. Muah..
Ok for now, I think I'm going to go.. I need to work tomorrow, and I need my strength if I need to put up with my boss.....




Nuff love and respect always
Shle
xoxo

Come listen to my truest thoughts, my truest feelings
All my peers doing years beyond drug dealing
How many caskets can we witness
Before we see it's hard to live
This life without God, so we must ask forgiveness
Ask mama why God deserved to die
Witness the tears falling free from my eyes
Before she could reply
Though we were born without a silver spoon
My broken down TV, show cartoons in my living room
One day I hope to make it
A player in this game
Mama don't cry, long as we try
Maybe things change