pray for my dad

You would think that my first real blog from home would be full of excitement and happiness and such, but sad to say, no..

Im posting this to ask for prayer ... we just found out that my dad is really super sick, and it's just really really bad, worse than before, and so if you think about it, could you keep him in your prayers? It would be really appreciated...

I love my dad very much.... I need him around...

*sigh*

Ok So yeah - just pray for him, ok??
Thanks

Love ashley

HEAR ME,
IM CRYING OUT, I'M READY NOW.
TURN MY WORLD UPSIDE DOWN
FIND ME
I'M LOST INSIDE A CROWD
IT'S GETTING LOUD
I NEED YOU TO SEE
I'M SCREAMING FOR YOU TO PLEASE
HEAR ME

Friends

I think friends are a wonderful creation!
Love Forever: Shle
Xoxo

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
Just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you've got a friend in me

I'm leaving now

Dear Faithful blog readers:

let's consider this (God willing) to be my last official Blog from the bowels of Residence, in Calgary, Alberta. This is my last blog as a student of AUC, my last blog from Calgary..
IM SO EXCITED!
Wooo.. Ok So I had an exam this morning, which went OK for the most part.. After that, I came home, packed up the rest of my stuff, and me and Shaunna have been on a cleaning frenzy the whole aftenoon.. Crystal is at work. She left and we said goodbye, and I am sad, but it will all be ok.
My stuff is packed. Im going home! Now all I have left to deal with is the 15 hour bus ride..
oh my.. Ok So I know that as such a special blog, it should be long and detailed and all that jazz, but I cant really spare the time. I want to clean up as much as I can so that Crystal isnt stuck with everything..

anyways.. We're leaving soon.. to pack up mike's car... So Im going to go..
It's been a good year... I'll update from home ASAP!
Much Love forever, and for the last time from calgary!

Ashley
Xoxo

The old home town looks the same as I step down from the train,
and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa.
Down the road I look and there runs Mary hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
The old house is still standing tho' the paint is cracked and dry,
and there's that old oak tree I used to play on.
Down the lane I walk with my sweet Mary, hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.

Inspire

it's funny, sometimes I have so much to blog about, but then I sit here, and I can't seem to get past the first line.

Today I got an email from Pedro, that was all about mexico. I am really excited about it. This year has really lead me to think more and more about missions. It seems like the whole year was based around missions. I was supposed to go on a missions trip, but it fell through. But even that taught me something about Missions. Nothing is ever concrete. We have to rely 100% on God, and not ever assume that our plans are going to work out. I think that if I had to talk about the single most important thing that I've learned this year, that it's in relation to God's will. We may think that we have an idea of what God wants for us, and we may make plans that we think reflect them, but in the end, only God knows whats up! That didn't sound as profound as I wanted it to.. But I think you get me, right?
Anyways - back to talking about mexico - cause I had something I just wanted to say about it. When I get those emails, and Pete mentions me by name, talking about how Im still in calgary or whateves, it makes me feel so good! Not cause he mentions my name, but because I feel like I'm part of the team. Even tho I couldnt go to the meetings so far, I am still a part of the team, and It makes me so excited. I hope that God has big things planned for me through this trip. Last night I was thinking for a long time, picturing the people and the children, and the view, and I'm just so happy. I want to See God in so many ways, and just thinking about the ways he will reveal himself to me is .... amazing.... I cant even imagine how good it will actually be.. Of course, I dont need to be in Mexico for God to reveal himself to me, but I think that something special will happen on this trip.

Anyways ... I think that I wanted to talk about more in this blog, but for real, I just can't seem to write as of right now.. I am moving in two days.. In 44 hours, my bus will be heading out of Calgary, into the foothills of the rocky mountians, and homeward. I am really excited. I will miss my friends from here, but I am ready to see my family and friends. I'd like to think that I will be going back to the way things were, but I know that eight months away changes things. It changes relationships, it changes people and it even changes places. Things are going to be different when I get home, but still it will be familliar. And It will be home..


I'm a get it my way, that's all I wanna do
I'm reaching for the skyline, where dreams come true
If you came here to party, that's all I wanna do
Just reach for the skyline where dreams come true

First Tan of the year

It's april 20th. Alot of things are happening today, people all have different reasons to do what they do. Today, in the city of calgary, it's like.. 18 degrees outside. I woke up this morning, and I had some toast.. Then Esther and I decided to get ready and go on a picnic in a park.. somewhere. As it turns out, we live downtown, so there aren't that many parks around. But we managed to find a sufficent patch of grass down by the Bow River, across from the school. We tossed the football around for awhile, then we ate our sandwiches, and drank our water, then played more football. It turns out that I have alot more tolerance to sun than most other people, and Esther had to get inside before she fried.. Ha ha.. So I walked back to Res with her, and then I went back outside by the river and just lay there, reading a book.. So I've been outside today for five hours, and I have a glorious tan.. I'm sooo excited!

So now, we slip back in time, to last night. It was our final floor meeting of the year, and we decided to do a web of encouragement. Basic idea: We have a gigantic ball of yarn, and we throw it around to one another (while still holding on to our bit, thus creating a web) and just say encouraging things. Suprisingly, there were alot of tears and alot of "I love you's" going around the circle. See, we are a tight group of girls. If I could have, I would have talked to everyone on the floor, but we just didnt have the time. Whats even more surprising, is that I shed quite a few tears myself.. Turns out I'm going to miss these girlies... Quite alot..
After that, we all went outside to the balcony where we had a HUGE pudding fight. That's right, we threw pudding around at each other. It was grand! Anyways.. It was just for fun..

So for now, I have to get going. Me and Shaunna are going to visit Crystal at work..
It's a beautiful Day..


Much Love forever
Shle
xoxo

Bring the wind to carry me over
Lead me home to my town
Tell me when that breeze is blowing
Taking me home to my town

*In Loving Memory*

Homeward Bound

So I changed my mind..
Yesterday I bought a one way ticket on a west-bound bus to vancouver! I leave on the 25th and get home at eight am on the 26th.. I am so excited. I will BE HOME in SEVEN DAYS!
Woooo hooo!
I think I need to take some knock-out drugs to chill on the bus ride, otherwise I won't sleep..
yes.. this is a good idea.
I just got out of my theology exam, it was suprisingly easy. I think I should have passed, if I didn't get a fairly good mark..

ANyways I'm gonna go home and scrounge up some food for lunch!
Nuff love and respect
Shle
Xoxo

We're always trying to satisfy these wants and needs
Take you some time for that inner peace
When your eyes are open
You'll see things differently
There's so much gloom
Hiding the reality
It's just a beautiful day
Yeah, It's just a beautiful day

unoriginal titles

Yow, there's so much that I've wanted to blog about, so much that I've seen and just made a mental note to write about, but I've just not had any time whatsoever.
So now, here I am, once again.

I'll start with my newest friends. Lately, I've been going to this resturaunt in the South East, called "Green Grato" and I just love it to bits. It's a jamaican resturaunt, and it's family owned and operated. There's an older woman, her husband, and her kids and grandkids who all work there. It's awesome. So each time I go, there's this little boy named Kory, who's seven years old, and he's absoloutely fabulous. He seems to have a bit of a crush on me, which is so cute, and he sits with me each time I go there, and tells me all sorts of stuff.. A few days ago when I was there, Kory had brought his hockey cards for me to look through, and he gave me one of his doubles. He wrote on it "TO Ashley Love Kory" and it's so cute! Anyways, enough of that. Then there's Ian, who I've just started bieng friends with. He works there too... When I went yesterday to the resturaunt, it was basically just to chill out with them, and I ended up going on a bunch of deliveries with him, and we talked and chilled and it was awesome. (he's pretty hot, ha ha) Then I spent most of the evening with him and his family at thier house, we watched a movie, and just chilled out. It was great. So they're having a thing on the 29th and I'm gonna go, then head on home the next day. It'll be a sad day for me to say goodbye to everyone, but you have no idea how ready I am to get home.

On that note - exactly two weeks till I get home.. Shaunna and Crystal are both leaving on the 25th, so I'll have the place to myself for four days.. Interesting?

Jeremiah is visiting my house in vancouver right now.. I wish I was there.. It would have been a funny night. Speaking of Jeremiah - he has a girlfriend. interesting?

Ha ha .. I love it when things are interesting..

Ok so speaking of interesting. Things here are bloody TENSE! The other night, I took someone out to dinner, and about six blocks from home, I told her to get off the bus right infront of a train station, and take the C-Train home, cause I wasnt going to go back to res right away. Turns out some guy hit on her, and she ran home and told her sister, who, in turn, came into the room and screamed at me, that if I was going to take her sister out, then it was my responsibility to get her home, and I was like..
Wow guy, your sister is nineteen, she's a big girl, I'm not her mom.. And it was just ridiculous, and me and this girl had a shouting match, and I was mad beyond all belief, and... BLAH! And to top it all off, the girl who I was out with, signed herself out for one night, then midnight rolled around last night and she still wasnt home, so me and her roomie got worried, and we called the number she left on the sign out sheet, and she gave me additude, and was like "Why are you calling me?" and I was like.. uh, me and your roomie were worried, and she goes "So why didnt my roomie call?" And I just said "Whatever __________" and hung up on her, and we haven't talked since. Like I said - I hate tension.. and it's so thick here you could cut it with a knife.

On a more random - yet positive note, spring is showing itself a little bit over here. I'm sure it's nothing like at home, but I saw a butterfly the other day, the sun has been shining, and I'm just so excited! I went for a walk by the river, it was beautiful.. It makes me feel so good to feel the sun on my face and stuff, even if it's still a bit brown and wintery-ish over here.

Anyways, I'm actually falling asleep here. I feel like I had more stuff stored away in my little head for blogging, but as of right now, I can't seem to think of it..
So I'm going to go for now, and get some sleep..

Much Love forever
Shle
Xoxo

PS this is for Cara! (we heard this song today) Love you girlie!

Something's gotta give me butterflies
Something's gotta make me feel alive
Something's gotta give me dreams at night
Something's gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
But something's gotta give

Relief!

You know what's an amazing feeling?
Well I do - it's handing in your last paper for the year. I just did that.. So I'm almost finished. It's actually so wierd to think that this year is over, that I wont be living in res anymore, and that I'm gonna be home for good in like... 14 days.. What a wonderful feeling..

Anyways, Im going to go home to eat dinner before my speech tonight

Love always
Ashley
xoxo

"Who will buy this wonderful feeling?
I'm so high I swear I could fly
Me oh my, I don't want to lose it
So what am I to do, to keep the sky so blue
Who will buy the smell of flowers waving in the moonlit breeze?
Who will buy the childrens' laughter
happily playing in the streets
Who will buy the heat of sun that's
shining on the deep blue sea?
Who will buy this wonderful feeling?
No one, cuz it's all for free."

Stupid People

Ok so bieng friends with stupid people is just a stupid thing to do,
and so the smartest thing to do is just to stop talking to them..
Of course, it's better if you dont make friends with them at all...
But sometimes it's too late for that..
So it's good to just stop calling people, stop seeing them...

im so smart


(No, Tricia, I'm not talking about you)

Ashley
xoxo

i dont even know

I always used to think that I'd just grow up and live forever - but each year that I grew, reality closed in around me, and stole the childlike innocence in which I believed.
Death is now such a reality to me, it's all around me. Sickness, suffering, ... death. So much pain, so many bad things have happened to this family - I'm starting to wonder if we can even take any more.
I was just thinking about how I've seen my parents this year two times more than I should have, because of a death. Im so sick of all this grief. I'm going home in less than three weeks. I am super excited, but at the same time, I'm scared, because I know that bieng back at home with all my family will get me thinking about the people I've lost this year. I dont want to think about them.. It's hard.. It's painful... It's even more difficult for me when other people haven't let go of their grief yet.. I just dont know..
Sometimes I wish that I could go back to bieng a little kid, I miss the inncocence.. .I miss climbing my cherry tree.. I miss playing roller hockey in the back lane and getting so excited when I heard the sound of an ice cream truck..
I just miss bieng a kid...


Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world.
I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all....


Shle xoxo

let it rain

I just got back from a walk with alison. We went to the bow river, and climbed down the banks to the shore, and watched as the rain fell onto the water, listened as the seagulls (I know, in alberta???) called to one another. It would have been entirely romantic, had it not been alison with me.. Instead, it was peaceful and relaxing. Neither one worse than the other.
Yes, it was raining today. As we walked back towards res, I was smiling. I love the rain. It's a wonderful thing.
Anyways, I have to go to small groups now.. I just wanted to talk about that..

Mi soon come, y'hear?
Likkle more

Forever: Shle
xoxo

"and I have watched in wonder
as with a word You calmed a raging sea
I have seen You make the wine from water
mud and water made a blind man see
water still reminds me
of the seaside where our eyes first met
let it rain Lord, we're waiting for Your rain to fall
let it rain bringing back the wonder of it all
and I can see Your face again
when You let it rain"

I am ready to come home now

Have you ever had the experience when it seems like everyone around you is extremely stressed out, and nothing you can do will make them stop taking it out on you? Well That's how life is for me right now. It's the end of the semester, and at least half of the girls on my floor are stressed to a point where they will bite your head off if you look at them the wrong way.. It's really hard for me to deal with this, because we have such a tight community of girls, so avoiding them is impossible... Unless of course, I just dont spend any time at home, which is not always possible. I have nothing else to say about that, except that people should learn to chill....

Something else that's been happening to me lately is that I've had someone who is always up in my business, wanting to know where I go, who I go with, and when I'll be back, and what not. Also, whenever I'm on the phone, she's always asking me who i'm talking to, and what it's about. This is driving me absoloutely nuts. My mom was never as bad as this, and so it's hard to deal with because all I really want to do is scream that what I do is none of her business, and then storm away, but I know that this would make things complicated, and not solve a thing, so I can't do this. I understand that life in res makes it hard to have privacy, but this takes it too far. Anyways.. This is just me ranting right now.. I guess I have to get it out somehow. I tried writing all this in my journal, and if anything, it just made me more angry, which is never good. So I'm trying this now..

Ok So on a good note, yesterday (most of it) was an awesome day. I woke up early and was picked up by my great aunt, my second cousin Bruce and his kids, my third cousins Jessie, Brenna and Meghan ... We drove three hours to Radium Hot Springs, in BC, and had an amazing day together. We swam in the springs, then had lunch, then drove around the sleepy town of Radium and visited with a bunch of mountian goats, then we took some extremely steep switchbacks down to the bottom of a canyon, to a river, then scaled the mountian back to the top, mostly avoiding the paths set for us... I think tho, the most amazing part of the day, was sitting in the Truck with little brenna asleep in my arms, and watching the amazing rocky mountians towering above us. Every time I see stuff like this, I can't help but to worship God... For real, it's just amazing.. Once again, he did that for me..



So after that, I got home to res, and the stress and tensions were high again, so I got a two for one pass and Karen, and we went to go see a movie.. It was good to get out, but still, her and I ranted the whole way home, and I'm not sure if that helped or just made me feel worse about everything that's happening in res... Either way, I am ready for this year to be over.
It's been really hard, but still, here I am... Ready to come home, back to the familliar, and away from all this crazy mad stress! I'm not fooling myself, I know that things at home won't be the same after me living here for eight months, but still.. It'll be better I think.. I know that it's going to be hard adjusting to living with my parents again, but at the same time still, I'm going to put in an effort to respect them and what they want for me, and so things will be good..
Anyways.. Im going to go to class..

Nuff love and respect
Ashley
xoxo

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Laughing in the Rain

I walked outside this morning, after a night of heavy coughing, tossing and turning. Anyways, as I walked outside, I breathed in the fresh scent of rain. It was a clear morning, but it was obvious to me that it had just rained over the course of the night. I breathed in that scent like I was a fish in the ocean, taking water in. You see, it's been so long since I've experienced rain, and I just missed it so much.
Do you know that scent I'm talking about ? The rain has just fallen, and the ground is still damp from every little drop that touched it. Then the sun rises and it's weak, early spring rays touch onto the wet surfaces, making everything seem fresh and clean. That's the best smell to wake to first thing in the morning. Never mind bacon, never mind coffee. Im talking about nature.
Last night, at floor meeting, we were talking about how God longs to "romance" us. One of the big was that we came up with, is through the beautiful things that God gives us. Some talked bout the wide open spaces on the praries of Saskatchewan. Others, like me, mentioned the glory of the mountians and the ocean. Others, the stars, others still, the colors of the fall months. There is still so much more that I could mention, the list of things that are beautiful in this world could go on for pages and pages. It's different for every single person.
So after that list was talked about for awhile, we began talking about how spending time wtih God isnt always reading the bible and praying. Someimtes reflecting on the natural beauty in the world is spending time with God, for he comes to meet us in those places. I have had a few experiences like this, but the one that stands out the most in my mind is when we climbed black tusk back in Geography 12. You see, we went from the base of the mountian to the peak. About 7/8ths of the way up, I twisted my ankle, so I decided to wait where I was for the group to climb to the peak, and have lunch then come back down. Someone offered to stay with me, but I declined, deciding that I needed some quiet time, and what a better place to have it?
Wehere I stopped, I could see a perfect turquoise lake below me, and to my right, endless snowy peaks of mountians, and above me, the clear sky. Behind me, there was a hill full of long grass and wildflowers. It was in this field that I sat to wait. Needless to say, I was completely overwhelmed with the beauty that surrounded me. I spent over an hour there alone, with no music, no distractions, and I had never felt more at peace, more relaxed, or more inspired than I did while I was up on that mountian. God came to meet me at that place on that spring day. He was present there, and it was so obvious to me, I could feel him, almost as if he was laying beside me in that fielf of wildflowers, laughing, joyful.
I realized, as I looked around that day, that it was God who made it. It was God who made it for ME. He led me there, just as in the twenty third psalm.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters
He restores my soul."

PEACE AND LOVE ALWAYS
Ashley
xoxo

Could I talk to You?
Are You listening?
Would You let me ask the questions
That burn inside of me?
I am reaching out
I am holding on
Feel like one of Your affections
But not quite like I belong
Will You see me through this valley?
Will You hold my outstretched hands?
As the world caves in around me
Will You help me understand?

Twenty!

Hey this is just a quick shout out to Papa, wanted to say happy birthday!
You may be 20 now, but I will kick your ass at mario kart..
Nuff love and respect always
Blessings

Ashley
xoxo


This is Papa and (in the green) and Treston (in the ... red.. DUH!)

Driven

I was talking to britney the other day, and up out of the blue, she asks me why the hell our society is consumed by sex.... I do believe, if Im not mistaken, that I've blogged on this subject before, but I came up with some new insight.
You see, sex is supposed to be about Love. Everyone knows that. When people are in love, then they sleep together, and it's supposed to be this great awesome thing... And so this world is full of nuff people who dont feel loved.. They never have, and it's all they want.. to feel Like someone cares. So they find someone who's willing to sleep with them (remember sex=love)and it makes them feel so ooooo great! So loved! needed... and so they keep on doing it. They keep on doing it until one day... it doesnt make them feel as happy. After awhile, they just feel sick.. Used.. Worthless.
But they never see the end result during all the good times. So when it stops making them feel like they're loved, they get confused, and search and search more and more until they've just been with so many people that they dont know which way's up...
This is why I think everyone's "doing it" now a days ...
And that's my thoughts on that......

Now for another random subject...This is just a question that Im going to put out, that I dont have any answers to, but at the same time, it's always been a struggle for me..
If everything happens according to God's will, then how did he not stop Adam and Eve from eating the fruit? Was it his will to see all this suffering? I dunno, that's just a random sort of thing that I've often struggled with, but never really thought to put out there. So it's out there.

Im sick of blogging for today, I was just trying to get ahold of a friend of mine on the phone, adn all of the sudden, it rings and it's for alison, and so now she's on the phone and I cant use it, and Im just frustrated. Not at alison, but at the fact that that happend. So Im going to go for now.

PEACE
Ashley
xoxo

legalities

P.S.
I forgot to mention that IM FINALLY NINETEEN!
Wow.. that's actually scary....

PEACE

More than one night

I went to chapel today, and on my way home, Walking, once again, by Max, I saw her. The little girl that I had tried to help the other night. I suppose I was slightly shocked, but a part of me knew I'd see her there again. My first thought was that everything I did for the girl didnt really sink in. It was useless. She spent the night at the shelter last night, and now she's back at it. I had hoped, for real, that some of what we talked about would have gotten to her, but It didnt.
So I was discouraged for most of the day - wondering why I even bothered to help her. But now, as I sit here and write about it, I know that there was a reason. If God planted the tinest seed in that girls mind or heart, it takes time to grow. Mabye one day she'll look back and remember the stuff we talked about. I guess I can't really expect the girl to just change right away, I guess stuff like that takes time. But I wont give up on her. I'll keep her in my mind - and I'll pray for her too. I can only do so much, right? So I guess I'll just keep doin what I've been doing, and wait for a change.
This is my one hundreth (sp?) blog. I feel like there should be soooo many more entries, but I guess I just have to be inspired, I can't write every day. I'd love to, but there's just not enough that happens in my life for me to be able to do that. Lately I've been so busy! I havent even had time to call my friends or family - which is rare for me. I dont even know what I've been busy with, I just havent been able to find the time, or mabye it's the energy - to call all the people I usually talk to everyday.
I was in Mcdonalds today, with Alison. Looking around at the people there made me think about alot of stuff. Like why people destroy their own lives for a quick fix, on crack or whatever they are doing. Seriously, is it worth the money these people pay, for a five minute high? You do your drugs, then you need them again - I guess I never really paid attention to stuff like that. Where does this stuff come from? What could be so bad in life that could turn a person to smoke crack? or do Heroin or E or Meth? Even Ganja! I just dont understand it... I hope that I never really will, either. Cause If I understand it, that means that I'm on the other end of the crack pipe, and I dont want to be there, ever.
When we were walking home, this little girl came up to me and asked me if I needed Trees or food. I asked her how old she was. This girl is fourteen years old. The same age as my little cousin. And she's working for .. god only knows who... selling drugs. She was a pretty girl.. But I guess behind evey pretty face, there is a story. These two black girls were hanging around mcdonalds too, couldn't have been more than 16 years old. I mean.. seriously. I can understand wanting to be out of the house on a friday night, but what a place to spend it.
Surrounded by crack heads, dealers and gangsters. People who are wearing bullett proof vests and packing heat, always looking behind thier backs for the cops. What Kind of life is that?
A life of constant fear and suspision, always looking over your shoulder. I dont understand how that appeals to people. Sure, I guess you make money, but.. man, I just dont know.
It's the life that they talk about in Rap. It's the life that I've only ever been able to picture from stuff I'd seen on TV. But Now, I look carefully, and that life is lived right infront of my eyes. The people that I see from day to day, they live that life.
And all I can do right now is pray.

PEACE, LOVE AND RESPECT ALWAYS

Bless
Ashley
xoxo

Home by three
Deafening quiet
The porch light’s off
Yes they forgot it
She’d cry herself to sleep
But she don’t dare
Then she wants to be a model
She wants to hear she’s beautiful
She’s beautiful
I want to save you
I want to save you
I need you
Save me too
I want to save you

mixed up people...

Yow wha de go on?
Today was a wierd day.. and it continues to be. I went to moxies with a friend of mine, and on my way back home, I saw this girl, who I had seen before, who I had talked to before. She's really sweet, and just mixed up with the wrong sort of people. I knew that she rolled with the wrong sort of people, and I knew that she would get herself into trouble by chillen where she was chillen. So I stopped to talk to her, and I found out some stuff that had happened to her, and how she had no place to go tonight, cause of family issues. She is sixteen years old, and there was no way I was going to let her spend the night at "crack max" where she was going to. So I bought her some pizza, and told her that if we couldnt find her a place to stay tonight, that she could spend the night with me. And so we're downstairs in the lounge, and headed upstairs soon for some sleep.
I know what some of you are thinking. This is so stupid, I trust too many people, and Im just not smart. But you know what? I think I've found what I'm supposed to do with my life. Help people. Any way that I can. Mabye God will use me this way.. to relate with these people, and to help them...
Of course, I asked my RA and my roomies if they were comfortable with this situation, and they were OK with it. Hopefully things will work themselves out, and that no one will get mad at me, but I just had this feeling, that if I left this girl out on her own, something bad would have happened. So here we are..
Im going to say goodnight now, Respect and have a good evening...

Love always
Ashley
xoxo

"Thank you for saving me
What can I say?
You are my everything
I will sing your praise
Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord
For we know your truth
has set us free
You set your hope in me."

random

Evening, Hows it going?
Well today is friday March the Third - it's been snowing like mad all day long! I kind of don't mind it, but seriously - I'm getting sick of hearing how the flowers are in blossom in Vancouver, cause of all that rain... Oh well - Soon enough I'll be home in the flowers and blossoms and joy!
Oh man, somethings wrrong with me, talking about flowers and lovey dovey stuff!
Ok so yesterday my parents called and told me that our great uncle passed away, and that they would be coming to calgary for the weekend. It's my bday tomorrow, and so it will be nice to see them, but once again, under crappy circumstances.
today, I got three cards in the mail, which was super nice, then after classes, me and Crystal and Karen and Bre went shopping, cause I needed new shoes desprately. So I bought Airwalks, and I love them to bits, I'm so excited. Then I ran into a group of guys that I knew, it was fun, they were shopping for vertical blinds and didnt have a clue what they were doing - that's what happens when three guys live in a house with no women. ha ha.
anyways. tonight my parents get here, I'm excited.
My Shaunna and Bre are learning how to bellydance from an instructional video, it's hot, I think I will join them now - so Im going to go for now!
Peace out, have a great weekend!
(sorry this is so random, but yo - it's my life)

Love Forever
Shle
xoxo

It's Close To Midnight And Something Evil's Lurking In The Dark
Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart
You Try To Scream But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It
You Start To Freeze As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,You're Paralyzed
Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
And No One's Gonna Save You From The Beast AboutStrike
You Know It's Thriller, Thriller Night
You're Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer, Thriller Tonight

Never thought I'd say it

Lent is marked by a time of prayer and preparation to celebrate Easter. Since Sundays celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the six Sundays that occur during Lent are not counted as part of the 40 days of Lent, and are referred to as the Sundays in Lent. The number 40 is connected with many biblical events, but especially with the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for His ministry by facing the temptations that could lead him to abandon his father and his purpose on Earth.. Christians today use this period of time for introspection, self examination, and repentance.
In Lent, it's traditional to give up something that we do a lot of and that we find pleasure in. This 'giving up' is done as a discipline for learning self-control, to free our minds from the chase after material things, and as a reminder of Christ's sufferings. Sometimes we don't notice how certain things we do have gained power over us and dictate our actions. In Lent, we discover these things and give them up so that God can be in charge. the less that 'stuff' preoccupies your life, the more room there is for God.

I grew up wondering why my aunts and uncles and grandparents gave stuff up for Lent, I never understood it, why would anyone want to give up mcdonalds? I mean, seriously, what was the purpose? But over the years, my faith has matured, and I understand this as more than just some catholic tradition, but an act of obedience, an act of faith. So if you know me, there's lots that I could give up for lent. My roomies suggested that I give up ice cubes in my water, but that's just silly, I need to give up something different. So I thought, what can I give up?
Then it came to me. So from tomorrow, I'm not going to listen to reggae music. Do you think I can do it? Well.. I do, so here goes nothing. Less Junk, more room for God.

Love forever: Shle
xoxo


When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul
Though Satan should buffet
though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul

ill

I am sooooo sick it's not funny. I spent the last week in Edmonton with my aunt and two cousins, and yesterday I woke up with the flu and bad! I caught it from my youngest cousin bobby, and now I feel like absoloute crap. Mike and Cara are picking me up tomorrow, we're driving back to calgary. Im excited, but I keep finding myself wishing that we would just drive home, and leave me there. That's the sick in me coming out, I guess when I'm sick I like to be with my mommy...
Ok Peace out - headache and stuff

Shle
xoxo

unintentional, unknown, undone..

I dont know where tihs is going to end up going, but I feel the urge to write. So here I am. I have no better place to put my feelings right now than right here on my blog.
Sometimes I wish (and I don't think I'm alone here) that we could go back to the times when life was simple. So many innocent things from the past swim infront of my eyes as if they belong there. Back when the ice cream truck brought the most excitement of the day. Back when going to meet my mom at the park on school lunch hours was the thing I most looked forward to. Back to when laying on the floor laughing with a friend was the funnest thing to do around the house. I pause at least once a day to reminisce on the past, and these are the things that I remember the most. The happiest times, before I became a love sick teenager, before I knew what alchohol tasted like, before everything changed. I dont know of an exact time when it all happened. We loose our innocence a day at a time. But we all know where the most damage occured, and that was back on the beaches of some tropical Island. Where I tasted freedom, and decided to use it to my own advantage, as well as my own demise. I abused the freedom that I was entrusted with. My innocence was dashed away along with any hopes at living the pure life I only can dream about now. I changed.
Now here I am, two years down the road. sometimes I look back at those stolen moments in Jamaica and I feel used. Sometimes I look back at them and feel filthy - sometimes I just don't know what to feel or what to think, and so I draw myself in and hide from the world behind a filthy sheet of glass - so everyone can only see my shadow. But sometimes, I am open. Now. I admit that I'm lost. I admit that I don't know what Im doing anymore. I admit that I'm scared. Scared of the past. scared of today. scared of the future.
It's a frightening prospect to consider that we don't know ANYTHING about what will happen in the future. Sure, people make plans, but it's not until they have been fulfilled that we know what's going on. And then there are people like me, who have no plans whatsoever.
What do I do? there are so many choices for my near future. I go to BC, but then what? Do I work? Do I go to school? How about both? Ok, and once that's decided, what happens when September rolls around. School or what? Ok, here are some things I've thought about. 1. I go to Cap, I start my university transfer program like a good little girl. 2. I go back to AUC/NUC, so long as I dont have to live in Res.... 3. I go to Tyndale university in Ontario. (no, I will not live with my grandmother or aunt) 4. I go to New Zeland and attend Capenray. 5. I go somewhere exotic, for no reason other than experience.
Now some of you will look at this list and say that I am bieng unrealistic. But I don't think so. Every idea on this list is completely achievable. I just don't quite know what to do with myself.
So for now, I choose to sleep. Mabye tomorrow I will tackle the insane question of what to do with my life.....

Love Forever
Ashley
Xoxo

P.S. Hi Whitney....

If you want to destroy My sweater
Hold this thread, and Just walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor
I've come Undone.

I can't believe this

I'd like to think that if things had gone as planned, I would have been writing tihs from sunny San Jose, Costa Rica. Alas plans are not always as solid as we'd like, and so they change, mad tings rearrange.
I knew someting was wrong when it took an hour and a half to move the six people infront of us in line thru the check in. When I walked towards the counter, they told me the flight was cancelled, and that the earliest they could get us out would have been wednsday. Tim made the decision that it would simply not be enough time for us to be in Costa Rica. So the whole ting was called off. We got our butts back to res, and my roomie went on the first bus to Swift Current, while I slept for a couple hours, then my mom got me a flight to edmonton, where I am now, chillen with my family. I spent yesterday taking out my braids, and im glad for it, they were starting to annoy me.. anyways..
So here I am, watching toy story, surrounded by my beautiful little cousins. Ummm.. yeah.. Im going to go for now..
Nuff nuff love and respect
One Love Forever
Ashley
xoxo

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles, then I got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
If we stick together we can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me
Yes, you've got a friend in me
Now some other folks might
Be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too. Maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do
Just me and you, boy

Costa Rica

When I first heard about the chance to go to Costa Rica on intercession, I thought that it would be such a good trip. Naturally, I decided that I would do anything in order to go on that trip. After all, I love to travel. Sure, the other options sounded interesting, but this one stuck out to me. I had a feeling that perhaps this trip would be the highlight of my first year of college. Now, as the trip draws near, I find myself wondering what it’s going to be like.
There are a lot of things that I need to take into consideration in preparation for this trip. One of them is the language. Personally, I feel like this will be the most frustrating aspect of the trip for me. Not being able to verbally communicate with the girls and their children is going to be very difficult for me. I think though, that by having this experience, I will be able to appreciate more the importance of non-verbal communication. I am going to have to really work on making myself seem approachable, and kind, without saying a word.
Another thing that I’ve been thinking about, is the girls themselves, in the shelter. I think that this trip will be emotionally trying for me. Even though I know what I am going to see, (young girls who have been hurt, and who have children) I can’t seem to prepare myself for the sight of these girls, who wont get to enjoy their young lives, like I have. Like I am. It’s going to be hard to go there and see girls, younger than me, who have children. Each time I think of this, I am so sad, and I tend to imagine how different my life would be if I were in their position. I can only imagine how used, how betrayed, and how sad these girls are going to be. And seeing that, I think, will break my heart. But then again, I might be surprised, and find them to be happy. This happened to me once, I visited a third world country and thought that the people there would all be very sad and lonely, but instead, found them to be happy, and thankful for what they had. This experience lead me to consider how lucky I am. I think that this trip will also do the same for me. I will see these girls, and realize how blessed I am, to lead the life I do. I will see them and their children, and hopefully learn to be thankful for what I have, and not worry about what I don’t have.
When I was told that we would be providing child care for the girls there, I got very excited. I happen to love children, and I have found that even the shyest smile can light up my day. My fear for spending time with these children is that there will be one very special little girl or boy, that I will become attached to, and it will break my heart (once again) to leave them. I am not, however, worried that spending time with these kids will be a hassle, or that it will stress me out, because I know myself, and I know that children have a special place in my heart, and always will, no matter their background, no matter their circumstance. I know that these children will have the ability from first glance, to light up my day.
Some other things that would normally be an issue for some people, are climate and culture. I know that both will be very different than what I am used to, but having traveled to a country much like Costa Rica before, I think that getting used to the heat and bugs and creatures will be the least of my worries. The culture will be fascinating to me, and I will have to do my best not to get completely drawn in, for fear that I will not want to leave when the time comes.
Overall, I feel like this trip will be an amazing experience. I welcome the pain that the circumstances might bring, I welcome the joy that the people might bring to my heart, and I welcome the unknown. I don’t know what to expect, but I have learned to expect great things from my maker.

Love Forever
Shle
xoxo

"Huh, please don't you rock my boat
'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin' anyhow
Please don't you rock my boat, no
'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin'
I'm tellin' you that, oh, ooh-aah,
I like it a-like a-thisCan you miss?
And you should know, ooh-aah,
when I like it a-like a-this
Am I really it?
Ooh yeah
You satis- satis- satisfy my soul, morning time
Evening cold, -fy my soul
Yes, I've been a-tellin' you,
bake me the sweetest cakesI
'm happy inside all the time
Oh, can't you see what you've done for me?"

Personality

I took a personality test.. Yes I am bored. These are my results..

You are fun, spontaneous, clever and interesting. People like to be around you because of your easygoing nature.

You like to wake up each morning without a plan and see where the day takes you, hopefully on some safe but relatively exciting adventure.

You excel in composition. You know what looks good together, what sounds good together, and what smells or tastes go together. This comes from a higher than normal tuned in attention to slight variations in color, texture, tone, and flavor.

You like to see everyone living harmoniously and can get irritated by whoever is currently rocking the boat and causing problems.

When faced with a problem you are most likely to solve it in the most obvious way, not implementing cumbersome standard methods or finding what is “socially acceptable” first.

Most people you interact with do not really know you. This is partially because of your reserved nature (you don’t tell them much), partially because most other types are less reserved (they spend too much time talking and not enough asking about you), and partially because you accept people the way they are (you don’t feel much of a need to correct and evaluate others, so people don’t realize how you think differently).

In fact, you have more interest in expressing yourself physically, through song, dance, or actions, than verbally, and you may give up too quickly when someone asks for a verbal explanation of your thoughts.

You prefer hands-on practical work. You may tolerate other types of work, but you’re never happier than when you’re building, fixing or creating something you can see, touch, taste or hear. You prefer work which is not fixed to a procedure, but which may, at any time, take an entirely new direction if the impulse hits you.

As a parent or leader you are non-directive, preferring to see what happens on its own rather than lay down strict procedures and give orders. To you it is understood that any procedures developed by necessity today disappear tomorrow unless they are still absolutely required.

If you do become difficult or cranky it is usually a result of someone else trying to impose some rule or boundary upon you personally, although your discomfort is almost always short lived and relatively painless for all involved.

Only you

Valentine's Day n : a day for the exchange of tokens of affection .
I woke up this morning to the intercom of my apartment buzzing like mad, and so I scrambled out of bed to see what the fuss was. It turns out there was a delivery for my roomate, Shaunna. As she was definately still asleep, I offered to go downstairs to retrive it. There, in the doorway of res, was a vase full of long stem red roses, addressed to Miss Shaunna Rempel. Wow, she was so suprised when she woke up and found them there, and so happy. It turns out, the guy who she likes, who lives in BC, likes her back, and sent them to her. It was beautiful.

Dont you remember the days when we'd spend time making little paper bag mailboxes to tape to the side of our desks, and the happiness we'd feel when we'd get a valentine in them? Little did we realize back then, but everyone would be given a class list so as not to leave anyone out of the fun. I can't imagine how I would have cried if my paper mailbox had been empty. But we know that we do not like to be left out. This is why so many people today are what I like to call "bitter valentines" Today is a day for love, or so many people say. I was thinking about how many single people hate valentines day, because they feel left out, forgotten. So many people think that valentines day is just for couples who are madly in love, and nothing else.

Personally, I think that Valentines day Is a day for love, but not nesicarrily just love between couples. Love between friends, love between friends, love between.. well everyone.
Wow.. I just realized how much I sound likea hippie.
Oh well, that's the just of it.. Today I woke up with valentines all over my front door, it made me feel special.. I also felt special giving out valentines..
It's jsut one of those days..

Today is Trestons birthday. I found it hard to deal with, until I finally caved in and phoned him like a good ex-girlfriend. I wished him a happy birthday, and he said thank you, and told me that he missed me and that he would always be there for me. It went well. But I miss him now..
After I hung up with him, I felt a million emotions at once. I felt like smiling, like crying, like laughing, and suprisingly, this is exactly what I did. If you had seen my face, it would have confused you sooo much, that I would have had to laugh at you.. But then I would have been extremely messed up... Hahahahaha

OK So enough of that.
Im going to go to my public speaking class.
Have a wicked day, and I hope, if you are a bitter valentine, that you feel better tomorrow.
Much Love
Forever
Shle
xoxo

"Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
Get on the floor and move your booty moma
We the blast masters blastin' up the jamma
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like in a the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look realli make me really feel nauuughty"

Babylon Release the Cure

"My style of music is just to uplift and soothe people from them problems. Emotionally, spiritual and physical. My style of music is just to feel the heart and the mind. I would call it Reggae, cause this is around that…I’ll never change. Never. For no reason, never. I rise to greater levels, but never change. Only betterment. "
- Jah Cure

He is amazing - every song I hear of his, I can just feel the vibes, and what he says is true.
His voice and the words he sings are just chill - he is in such a bad state of life right now,
but he is still praising Jah - bless up and nuff respect fi di man.

Ashley xoxo

"behind these prison walls
doing my paces doing my time
spending my restless nights visioning faces
oh they all crying
prison a no bed a roses
the livity it makes me bawl
i wish that jah could come and take us back in time cause
I swear i can be a better man
yes i swear if only you could understand
the faith in me shall set me free
reflection"

Trust me

I think that it is important to trust people. I have recently become aquainted with a person, who is from Toronto, and we now talk to each other on the intenet. It frustrates me when people just assume that because we are getting to know each other online, that everything he says can be a lie. It is possible, but I've decided just to trust him, to trust that he has no reason to lie to me and that I have no reason to lie to him. Relationships can't be built when there is no trust involved, and can't be kept when there is no trust.

I recently learned this the hard way, trusting people can lead to pain - but if you will permit me, I will take an idea from a song - I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance. You see, hurt is inevitable - and avoiding it entirely, just because it's possible, also means that you dont get to have the good times. If I could go back in time to the beginning of my friendship with Tricia, knowing that in the end, she would hurt me the way she did, I dont think that I would have avoided it. There were too many good times involved for me to want to give it all up. I wish that people would understand that avoiding pain is not always the best way to go. I dont want to miss out on good times just because I know in the end that it might hurt me.

For now, I choose to trust - mabye not those who have hurt me already, but I choose to trust C (my friend from Toronto) . I choose to trust, and that choice is mine alone to make. Think about it - if I never trust that means i'll never love - and if I never love, then what is the point in life?

So .. I guess for now - i'll peace
Have a good day
Love forever

ashley xoxo


Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

dreamin..

My life is random! ! ! I am wondering of course, when that doesn't happen. it's like.. all the time now. Mabye it always has been. I've just been thinking about how excited I am to go home. It's still a far way off, but at the same time, life has just been zooooom-zooming by! It's hard to believe that I've been out of high school for seven months already, and for some reason, this past week, i've been dreaming about people from north van, like.. every single night. It's random. One night I dreamed that the pool hall just a couple of blocks from here, was like a grocery store, and that all the people I graduated with were in there, talking on their cell phones to each other. And Sam and I were in the back room, and he was giving me this gigantic tattoo on my arm of a rose, which was pretty, but at the same time.. sam .. giving me a tattoo? in the pool hall.. Wierd! and even Mrs. Cook was there, which is even wierder.
Lol.. And the night after that random dream, I dreamed that I was walking along seventh and along came Cody and the whole gang, and then I got into a mini-van with them, (wierd) and we parked it at the hardware store infront of my house in Van, and then I went inside and bought alcohol for all of them.. From a hardware storee. because they weren't old enough..
And then Cody crashed the car into a sign... Honestly, it was soooo wierd!
Then Last night, I dreamed the wierdest dream i've EVER dreamed in my whole life. I dreamed that my left foot was missing two toes, but it was just the right size for a newborn baby who didnt have a foot, so they cut mine off with a red knife (ICK) and sewed it onto this babies foot. How disgusting is that.... Then I walked around on a stump and it wasnt even bandaged up or anything, so you could see all the gross stuff.... Ick, im getting shivers just thinking about how gross that is.. Ok enough of that..
So whats with that, eh? I can't possibly remember more than seven or eight dreams from my WHOLE life back in BC - and since i've been in calgary, i've been dreaming up a storm! Like.. three random dreams in the last week.. alone! Whats a girl to do? *sigh*

Ok so .. that's that for that.
I look like a hippie right now, because I have on a bandanna, and my glasses, and my braids give off the illusion of straight, long hair.. so I've decided I look like a hippie. I dont think i meant to do it tho.. infact, i didnt.. but I looked in the mirror, and so now that's what I look like, lol.

Ok I think I will go for now..
Much love and respect

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

5 Means You're It

Cowboy?
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[x] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[ ] Do you like to get dirty?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[ ] Do you live on more then 2 acres?
[ ] Do you have more than 4 different animals at your home?
Total = 2

Goth?
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[ ] Do you think about death often?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[ ] Are you a social outcast?
[ ] Are you pale?
[ ] Do you like Hot Topic?
[ ] Do you enjoyTim burton movies?
[x] Are you mean?
Total = 3

Punk?
[ ] Can you skateboard
[ ] Do you wear Vans?
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[ ] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you like/wear mohawks?
[x] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[x] Have you called someone a poser?
Total = 4

Prep?
[ ] Do you say the word "like"?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/Aero?
[ ] Do you pop the collar?
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[ ] Is the only nerd you like Seth Cohen?
[ ] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] You like pop music?
[ ] Do you want/have a little dog?
Total = o

Hippie?
[x] Is your hair long?
[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unneccesary?
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
Total = 4

Gangstaaaa?
[x ] Do you act ghetto?
[x ] Do you wear do-rags?
[x] Do you like hip-hop?
[x] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[x] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] Do you like to dance?
[x] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total = 8 - im pretty much gangsta

Emo?
[ ] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[ ] Do you like soft music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[ ] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[ ] Do you cut your hair?
[ ] Are you lonely?
[] Is "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights, a good song?
Total = 3

Surfer?
[ ] Do you surf?
[x] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[x] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x ] Do you hate tourists?
Total = 5

Geek?
[x] Do you wear glasses?
[x] Do you get good grades?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x ] Are you on the computer often?
[ ] Do you ever get picked on?
[ ] Do you look forward to going to school?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[ ] Do you play video games?
Total = 3

so aparently, im a gangsta/surfer.. that's amsuing.. cause it's nowhere near true... surfer???What the hell! lol

Dance the night away

You know what I like?
I like Sean Paul. He honestly has the most unique voice and it's just soooo hot.. When I hear his voice, I get so hyped up I just want to dance all night. Too bad I go to a school that think Dancing leads to sex.... Lol.... If I didn't, I would probably go dancing every weekend, when I go back to BC I think I will like to go dancing, just a matter of finding someone to go with, na true?
I just thought Id share that, dont quite know why, lol. I think it's just because sean paul came on the radio, and I had the urge to dance around the room, but instead, I danced around in my chair, and my roomies think I'm crazy. That's how it goes sometimes..
So ... I just wanted to say that I like sean paul and dancing...
Nuff Love

Ashley
xoxo

In the words of Sean Paul:

When you roll with a player like me...with a brother like me gyal there is no other
No need to talk it right here just park it right here keep it undercover
From mi love how you fitt in ya blouse and you phat in ya jeans
and mi waan discover..Everyting bout you baby girl can you hear when mi utter...
Woman the way that I'm cold I wanna be keeping you warm
I got the right temprature fi shelter you from the storm
Oh lord, gyal I got the right tactics to turn you on,
and girl I...Wanna be the Papa...You can be the Ma


(oh goodness)

thought you ought to know

These are some things that I like..
1. Sunshine
2. Bieng warm
3. Hugs
4. Loud Music
5. True Friends
6. The Ocean
7. Meeting new people
8. Travelling
9. Taking pictures
10. Reading good books in the sunshine

These are some things that I don't like
1. Liars
2. Bad drivers
3. Mean people - especially girls
4. Techno and Gwen Stefani
5. feeling sick
6. Bieng alone
7. Bieng quiet
8. Waking up in the morning
9. Friends who use you
10. Self Consious people

Psalm 29

The Voice of God in a Great Storm
A Psalm of David.
1 Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory of his name; worship the LORD in holy splendor.
3 The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD, over mighty waters.
4 The voice of the LORD is powerful;the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.
5 The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, and Sirion like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the LORD flashes forth flames of fire.
8 The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness; the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the LORD causes the oaks to whirl, and strips the forest bare; and in his temple all say, "Glory!"
10 The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
11 May the LORD give strength to his people!May the LORD bless his people with peace!


Deep in my soul, is a tug of war,
struggling to know what this life is for.
And I try so hard to stay in control,
and to hold back the tears, to not let go.
And I don’t know why I hang on so long
when I know the question you are asking me.
Will you worship, will you bow down before your lord and king?
Will you love me? Will you give me your heart, Your everything?
And will you worship, will you bow down before your Lord and King?
Will you love me? Will you give me your heart, Your everything?
Right here and Now,
I make my choice,
with all my love, I will answer you.
I will worship,
I will bow down before my Lord and King.
I will love you,
I will give you my heart, my everything.
I will worship,
I will bow down before my Lord and King.
I will love you,
I will give you my heart, my everything.

Sticks, Stones and Sickness

I've decided that people in general, have the ability to be super mean. Some choose to use it, others will not. I had a message on Nexopia from this random guy, who said that I was an ugly bi***, with an ugly face, and that I should walk around with a bag on my head.
I'll admit, I was upset by it, and had I just stayed home the rest of the night as planned, I would have probably gotten depressed, but I went out for a movie with Alison and her sister. Even though we didnt talk about it, I thought that this random boy's opinion doesnt really matter to me. I know that some will say No one's opinions should matter but my own, but in reality, that's not how things work. But his doesnt to me. I have enough good friends and family who make me feel beautiful, and some boys, like Treston and others who did as well. I've even gotten random comments from people I dont know, that make me feel good about myself. So I don't feel ugly when I think of this random boy's comment to me, only a bit sad that people have within them the ability to be so mean. I can't imagine ever saying something like that to a person, not even someone that I despise. Wow. I guess people are just different, and I'm ok not to be one of the people who are mean. I just can't imagine saying something like that to a person and not feeling totally horrible afterwards. I wonder if people get satisfaction from making other people hurt. I know that not so long ago, something like this would have caused me to go into my room, cry, and begin to believe the lies that were told to me. that was the kind of person that I was. What other people said to me mattered more than anything. Im not going to say that people opinions dont affect me, but I dont let them rule my life anymore. I'm human, words can impact me sometimes, it's just a matter of how much I let it. When people compliment me, I feel good, it's only natural. So when people put me down, of course it will hurt/piss me off, but I can't let it run me. *shrugs* That's all I have to say about that.

So this morning, I woke up about 20 minutes before chapel is due to start downtown, and I dont usually go to chapel, but when I got up this morning, I felt this ... feeling, I guess, telling me to get my butt to chapel. So I did, and I am so glad that I went. Our speakers were a family from the staff at NUC, telling us their story of the battle against cancer in the family. Their daughter was six years old when she was diagnosed with cancer. She is ten years old now, and she got up and told us about her story, then her mother got up, and told it to us from her point of view, and then came the slideshow that absoloutely broke my heart, and I think the hearts of almost everyone in the room. There were pictures of her before her cancer, during the treatments (Chemo, Radiation, blood transfusions, surgerys) and then after. I think nearly everyone in the room shed a few tears, and I wont be ashamed to say that I was close to sobbing. The message that they sent to us today, is that no matter what, God is faithful. Her father talked about Christian Cliches, such as "God won't send you more than what you can handle" and "something good comes of every situation" and "i'll be praying for you" He talked about how real those phrases became to him and his family, during the trials they went through. I think that they are so real, the promies that God gives us, and all we need is for those phrases not to become cliche, for them to become a reality. I mean, this doesnt make my dad having cancer any easier for me to deal with, but in some small way today, I got a dash of hope inserted into my dim looking world. I know that I must be thankful for all God has given me, I know that He will provide for all my needs, and all the needs of my family, and that it is simpy foolish for me to worry about them. All I need to do is pray, and believe, and God's will shall be done, and He will take care of us. Sometimes he calls us home, and sometimes he needs us here. There is a plan and a purpose for everything. No, I do not have it all figured out. No, this is not easy. But God is here.


To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late

Calgary.. A quiet place afterall.

I've recently taken to thinking that there was no place in this whole city where I could just go and have time to myself. Even when I walk down the street alone, people talk to me. When I go shopping, I run into someone I know. Res is just never quiet time, unless I decide to be awake in the middle of the night. The school, obviously, is never quiet, never.. There is no personal in CBC. But tonight, after a fabulously good dinner with all the NSA kids and Dave Sattler, I was walking back to res, and it was silent. There were no drug dealers trying to sell me thier merchandise, no cars, no trains, not even a gust of wind whipping through the buildings. And you know what I did? Without really even thinking about it, I started to pray.
something is changing in me, and I don't know what it is, but I do know that it is for the better. I want to share with you a part of my speech that I wrote for public speaking, but I don't have it on this computer. I'll put it online next time. But it is in regards to the change that is still trying to take place in my life, it's not yet complete. There's still the times when I just want to tear down everything and just let go, do whatever. There's times when I've done it, but it doesn't make me feel any better in the end. I was reading through my journal the other day, and I read an entry that said "It's time I start taking seriously the effect of my habits on my life". When I was talking about my habits, I was talking about music, movies, and stuff like that. I dont think I've done it on purpose, but when I listen to rap /hip-hop kind of music, I walk differently. When I listen to that kind of music, I talk differently. And so one day I decided I was just going to listen to uplifting, Christian music, and for the rest of the week (I'm not even kidding) I was all smiles. This is not to say that I am going to go nuts and only listen to Christian music all the time, because that would be a bit too much (for me, at least) but to allow myself the peace that it gives me once in awhile. I've always been a kind of "worship" Christian. I don't know if that makes sense, but the way I feel God lifts me up the most, speaks to me the most, is through worship music. That's why, when worship at a church event is crappy, I get extremely crabby. Like at youth group, when it used to be so loud in the sanctuary that we couldn't hear the music, I'd get extremely pissed off.
On a side note, I dont know where this update is going.. but it's going there, ok? dont' hate me!
anyways, worship has always been extremely important to me, and for a long time, I just blocked it out of my life. I had a void in my life that I knew exactly how to fill, but I just wouldn't have it. Which, of course, makes no sense at all. But now that I'm here, now that I've realized my mistakes, I'm trying so hard to rectify them, but all I can take are little wee baby steps. (I said wee, cara!) It's slow going, but it's going. That's all that matters.
I am thankful for such good friends in my roomies and neighbors, I think that the end of the year, while exciting cause I get to go home, will be very sad, because I will miss my roomies and neighbors (who may as well be roomies anyways) alot....
Tonight, people are not here. Everyone's gone out to a coffee house or something like that, and so the quiet time has allowed me time to think.. To think about who I am, to think about who I want to be.. It's going to take alot of work.. but I'm willing if God's willing, and we all know that He is... So for now.. Grace and Peace be with you always.

Much Love
Ashley
xoxo

And this song is dedicated to my beloved Kawkawa, which closed down. Kawkawa is responsible for alot of spiritual highs through the years, and I cant imagine how different my life would have been without it. Im sorry to have it closed down, it makes me very sad, and I fell in love with this song at that camp.. So here it is.. Just a small thank you to Kawkawa, in my own little way.

I sing a simple song of love, to my savior, to my Jesus.
I'm thankful for the things you've done,
my loving savior, my precious Jesus.
My heart is glad that you've called me your own;
and there's no place I'd rather be,
than in your arms of love. In your arms of love.
Holding me still, you are holding me near, in your arms of love.

So much for so much more

So I was totally supposed to update before edmonton, but I didnt, so oh well no big deal, right?
Edmonton was interesting, my aunt has wierd friends. But I survived. On Saturday, I met up with my sister in law to be, and all the other bridesmaids, which was a bit fun, I actually like the dress (GASP!) and I am excited to actually be able to fit into it. See, we all had to try on a size 10 dress. Didnt go too well. I mean, I got into it alright, but anyways... It wasnt the right color either, so we arent sure how they'll look, but still I think I will like it and possibly wear it again. Even tho it is like ... pink...
Anyways.. We went out for lunch, all the girls, it was fun, I think I will like them... Anyways...
Saturday evening was spent (Until 3am) braiding my hair, it's uber cute, im excited about it.
But I didnt sleep much on the weekend, and I think I got sick, well, i dont think, I did, Im just not sure how.. anyways, so im uber tired right now, so Im gonna go for now, much love now and forever, mmkay?

Ashley
Xoxo

If you could see beyond the here and now
I know that everything would change
But you're hard and scarred by what the past
Has made you into
Shaped what you believe
I know you've been failed
And I know that you've tried
It's always the same
Time and time again
But you have to know
That nobody else
Can stand in your place

Breaking the habit

hey everyone, hows life treating you today?
Well I am doing well indeed, today i had a rather productive day, unlike most of the rest of my week. ... well.... life.... I went to school, which was good, went to my first three hundred level course, which was not difficult, because Rick and Mandy are the profs, so Im not worried. I think that if it was any other professors, then i might be in trouble. But it isnt, so im not.. it's a good thing. Anyways, after that, I went to Christian Publications, (the book store) because I just joined another class, so i had to buy the book. it was fourty bucks, not too bad... Anyways.. then I did like three hours of school work so that i stay caught up, and it wasnt too bad. I wrote my first speech for Public speaking, it's gonna be super fun. Anyways... I think i might put it up on the website later, but for now, I am going to go to the gym, and exercise, get my butt in shape for costa rica, which im super excited about.. So i'll update tomorrow before edmonton, this is like.. just to say that im alive..
Much Love

Ashley
xoxo

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m Breaking the habit
Tonight

It is finished

You know, I think I underestimated Treston. The reason that I thought he might hang up on me, is because last time I tried to break up with him, I started the conversation off with "Im breaking up with you"... not smooth on my part. But this Time I started the conversation with .."I need to talk to you" and we did, and I cried, and he said that I just needed to focus on myself, and work out my life, and that he understood, that I have to do what I have to do. And he said that he would still be there to talk to me if I needed him to be, but he understood what I was doing..
So I'm not perfectly ok yet, I mean, this just happened 15 minutes ago... I cried for ten afterwards.. I feel like i've done the right thing..
Now let's just see what happens next..

Much Love
ashley
Xoxo

Girls are horrible inventions...

So I've oficially decided that I do not like girls.. Nooo you goof, not like that, but in general.
So I was walking towards the doors on the C-Train with some of my friends, and this girl looks me up and down, and made a very rude comment about my clothes. I stopped, bieng the bold sort of fool that I am, and said really loudly, without looking at her, "Do you have to be so blatantly rude?" and then I kept walking. When she got off the train a few stops later, she gave me the dirtiest look as she passed outside my window, and I, of course, returned it.. Im so bad.. anyways.. She tried to get back on the train, to beat me up, but her boyfriend held her back. It would have been funny to see her try, because she was scrawny, and I was alot madder than she was.. But still, it would have been dangerous, I'm glad she didnt get back on the train. Oh well. So I saw three movies in the last three nights. The first, and best of all, was "Walk the Line" starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese WitherspoonIt was by far the most amazing movie I've ever seen. I absoloutely loved it, and it helped that Joaquin Phoenix was absoloutely gorgeous. mmm mmm. So I went to go see that with my brother, it was wonderful, and I was singing Johnny Cash songs the rest of the night. The second movie that I went to go see, was called "Brokeback Mountian" and I would not reccomend it.. at all.. I mean, the acting was good, and it was a well produced movie, but I do not like what it stood for, I do not like that it makes it OK to be homosexual, and I do not like that it dragged on forever and ever.. It needed to end alot sooner than it did. Oh well.. So Tonight, hence the C-Train ride, I went to go see Pride and Prejudice. It was a wonderful movie, and my friends and I (The cool ones) spoke in british accents the whole way home. In fact, I am thinking these very words in a british accent. Ha haha. So anyways, it was a wonderful movie, and I dont think that It ruined the original at all, not like I've seen it.. But someone I know said that the whole point was for him to fall in love with a not beautiful girl, and though Kiera Knightly is pretty, she was very plain in this movie.. So they didnt ruin the whole movie at all. At some points, it was difficult to understand what the actors were saying, and of course, I was distracted every time Mr. Darcy came on the screen.. He is very attractive.. Ha hahahahah Has to be one in every movie, right? At least, when I go to see one. So yes, that was basically my last three nights balled into one.
Now I think I'd like to talk about relationships.. Like.. Ideal.. proper relationships..
I think that in order to have a real relationship, the two people involved must be able to talk to one another. Wouldnt you agree? What kind of a relationship is it when the conversation never goes beyond how are you, ok, call me later....
This is so hard for me to talk about. You see, for the past 18 months, I have been in that sort of relationship.. and technically, I am still in it... But I've only just come to realize that I can't do it any longer. and it's killing me, not to think that I was wrong and everyone else right, but to think that I do love Treston.. and It's going to kill me and him to end this, but I cannot do it anymore.
It's all wrong for me. I need someone who is going to be there for me, and know me, and respect me, and encourage me in the areas I need to be encouraged. Now don't get me wrong, I do not want you to think that Treston is a bad person, because he is not, he is a good man. But I need to respect myself, and I am not, by constantly revolving my life around him. I'd like to think that i'll be able to just shrug this whole thing off, and continue on with my life as if this never happened, but I will not.. I am broken by this. I am hurt.. But I also do realize that I have people around me who love me, and who will be there for me when I need them.
My only regret is that my family will not get to meet the man who was a part of my life for almost two years. I know some of my family did not want to meet him, or acknowledge him, but he was a part of my life. Still is, by the looks of it, I havent quite had the chance to talk to him yet. He's always busy, and I am so scared to make this call. You see, I know Treston, and I know that he is going to get angry at me, and hang up the phone, and wait for me to weaken, like I have in the past, and call him back, begging for him to talk to me.. But I cannot do that this time. I cannot weaken myself, I have to let it go. It seems that I have lost quite a few things in and around this general time. But I have to keep in mind, that God has a plan for my life, and perhaps that plan was bieng hindered by the relationships I've lost, and perhaps it is going to be helped by the ones I'm going to gain, and am gaining as I talk.. type.. this out..
Tricia got back to vancovuer yesterday, and suprisingly, hasnt tried to call me. In a way, that hurts me more than what she did. But at the same time, I dont expect much more, because she has no idea that what she has done to me is so wrong. She also has no idea who I am, after all this time. Which is why I cannot continue this relationship. If she wanted to make the effort, then she would have a long time ago.. but she doesnt. anyways, I dont want to talk about that right now.. I just need to get this whole thing over with, and put it behind me. I can't pretend that it will be easy, I want to cry now just thinking about it... ARRRRRGGG I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...
Ok you know what's really funny? My lovely, supportive brother, is soooooo excited that I'm finally making a smart decision, that he like... dances around whenever I talk about it.. Oh goodness, what would I do without him? Not much... I guess.
*Sigh*
So on monday, mike and I are going to watch Hotel Rwanda, and my friend Corey is going to come over for dinner, then, if I am depressed, we'll have a girly night, with ice cream, and funny movies... Should be interesting. I just dont know what to do..
Ok, this has been a deep and yet randomly sparratic update, and so now I'm going to go, have a good night.. Tomorrow's going to be a hard day..
Much love forever

Ashley
xoxo

" Shine, make them wonder what you've got
Make them wish that they were not
On the outside looking bored
Shine, Let it shine before all man
Let them praise Him once again
Let them glorify the Lord."

To my friend..

The Lies, they consume you
And you can't see a thing
You have haven't the slightest Idea
the pain that you bring
The things that you've done
and the lies that you've spread
You can't take them back, now
the fire's been fed
So now, On with my future
behind me's the past
I had no idea
I could loose you so fast
So goodbye forever
It's over, my friend
This time, the rift
Is too big to mend.


Ashley Schalin
Jan10/06

A poem

Drowning

I look at you, and my anger rages like an ocean
A vast sea of wasted feelings
And precious time
I’m hurt by the things you say and do to me
And the things you don’t think I’ll hear
Or you don’t think that I’ll find out
But they always find their way back to me
And the gaps and oceans between us
Grow wider, vaster and deeper
Words get between us until
Neither of us know what to say anymore
And nothing is left to do but
turn around and walk the other way….
Telling lies to let the other one know
Who’s not been hurt the most
When really all it does is tear me up inside.
My empty heart is screaming
Fighting against the currents of love and hate
Pulling away from each other
Like the moon and the ocean
As we grow farther apart.
I want to talk To try and work things out
Repair the rift that keeps on growing
But words get in the way
We get angrier and more frustrated
But how do I explain how I feel?
How much I want to go back to
When we used to whisper between classes
Go to the movies
Share clothes, eat ice cream and giggle.
Back to the time when we’d spend the night
Making faces, laughing so hard that we’d cry.
Doing all the things that used to be important
But are now forbidden.
Because one of us might let out guard down
And say or do something that will hurt the other.
When truthfully, dancing around to crazy loud music
Tripping up the stairs, and strange pictures
Are things only best friends can understand.
Somehow as I sit here and write this
Not because I want to, But Because I have to, for you and for myself,
The rift.. It’s not healing this time.. And I’m no longer smiling
I know you’ll read this I’d like to think you’ll understand it and me,
But I don’t think you will
Because it turns out that you don’t seem to know me at all..

January 6 2006

So yesterday, after I posted my blog, I went through every single blog that I've ever written, and wrote a list of all the songs I've used.. I discovered that I only repeated one song, and that was tears in heaven, by Eric clapton. I repeated it, not on purpose, but both the blogs were regarding the same issue, and I guess that particular issue made me think of that song.. so Oh well. Today, although it started out poorly (A dentist appointment), turned out for the better. My mom and I went to wal-mart, the best store on earth, to buy some necessities, and then we came back home, and went right back out, with my dad. we headed up to NSAC to say hello to some friends of ours, who are expecting a baby come june. I had a good talk with Duane and Dave, it was nice, and good to get some guidance on the messed up situation I'm in. (With Tricia)
So anyways, after that, we all came home, Dad and I watched the canada vs. russia game, which was sort of entertaining, but at the same time, not at all, so I also watched bits and pieces of days of our lives, which gets more confusing by the minute.
Sorry my blog is so random.. but.. i dunno.. that's just the way I am.. So what do you suppose is the purpose in these sorts of things? My friend said that Blogging is such an interesting trend, we throw our thoughts, hearts, activities, and struggles out here for all to see.....
Maybe we're just searching for sympathy, or maybe it's something deeper. Are we trying to make up for the loss of intimacy this world has told us we don't need? Are we desperately trying to have those conversations that we instead fill with meaningless small talk? it seems to me that the less time we spend with family and friends talking about the things that really matter the more we spend pouring our anonymous hearts out to anyone who'll listen through the internet.
Just some random thoughts. Like i said.. Random.. Life is random...

Im tired, ttfn!

Much Love
Ashley
xoxo

"Who's to say where the wind will take you,
who's to say what it is will break you?
I dont know, which way the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
I dont want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye."

Problem Child

Do you know what's ridiculous? I have been at home for a long time now, and not been doing "anything", yet I've found no time or energy to update this blog. It's kind of unfortunate, but I'm not just going to let it go, and be nothing. I love this blog, I love having something to do that is actually important, (well, to me, it is ..) But sometimes, I jsut dont have the time to do it. So now that I do, here I am.. As I said before, some crap happened earlier in my vacation time, and it's still sort of unresolved, as the person with whom conflict arose is in Jamaica, trying (unsucessfuly) to "ruin my life" .. well a big HA HA in your face!
Sorry, just had to get that out.. Anyways.. Tonight I went over to my friend's house, and It was fun stuff, he gave me a preview of his CD that's coming out next month, I'm uber excited.
I was thinking on the way home, how different it would be for both of us if something had come of that enormous crush I had on him.. Sometimes I wish that it would have worked out, but in my mind, knowing him and knowing me, I know that it never would have lasted long at all. And I am very grateful for his friendship, I dont know what I'd do without him.. So that's me, bieng random.. Tomorrow evening, i'm going to go out with my other friend, it's going to be fun, I haven't seen him for a long time, and then later in the night, I'll be going out with my other friend Kels, who will get her drivers liscence tomorrow, which is good, as I can't drive my parents car yet, cause they didnt put insurance on it.. Oh well, not much I can do about that. And on friday, I am hoping to spend some quality gangsta time with my best girl, whit, cause I miss her tons, even tho we're like two blocks away from each other.. We've just both been super busy, I guess. Speaking of busy, I moved my bedroom down to the basement, I love it, it's wicked - I have so much room, now all I have to do is get my dad to clean up all his crap that he kept down there, when it was a junk room/tv room. Now it's not, and so he has to get rid of it somehow.. I think he'll manage, at least it should be gone by the time I come back in april.
Ok so ... speaking of coming back in april.. I have a few things that should make this next semester a little bit easier to bear than the first one was.. Each and every month has something, or more than one thing, to look forward to. This month, January, started off well, cause I'm still In BC! It's wicked. Also coming up this month is a fitting for my bridesmaid dress, for a wedding that I am really excited about.. And then also, I am hoping to be getting my hair braided for something that's wicked next month, and I am talking, of course, about Costa Rica.. Yes, that's right, on the eighteenth, I'm going to Costa Rica for ten glorious days. I am uber excited about it. that's qutie enough excitement for one month, but it's also my dad's birthday, and my baby's birthday, also on valentines day.. So in March, I turn nineteen, which would be uber exciting, if I were at home, but I'm not, but it's still going to be amazing fun.. Then Also in march is YC, which is going to be wicked! I can't wait to get to that, it's going to be so amazingly fun, I can't wait. April brings much stress, as well as hapiness, cause I get to go home.. But before I can do that, I have to write exams and pack.. Oh well, I'll survive, I suppose.. DOntcha think?
So anyways.. It's almost time for bed, so I better be off for now!
Much Love Forever
Ashley
xoxo
p.S Do you think I should cut my hair like that?


"I could be in Paradise, I could be in Hell,
I'm so numb that I can't even tell.
My heart is screaming out, and I can't yell..
But you're too far away to hear me cry.. "

Merry Christmas, happy 2006

I feel almost like a bad person, and that's almost. I haven't updated in a long period of time, which is stupid, cause the only excuse I have is mike, who lives on this computer.. I suppose that's a valid excuse, but oh well. Enough with the excuses. My christmas break has been a mixture of things. One of them is stress. Getting here and living out of a suitcase in a room that is not my own (once again, because of my lovely brother) is not an easy task, and also, I've taken this break to move my bedroom to the basement, because of the foster babies overtaking my room upstairs. So all in all, stress... it's here! But my christmas time has also been wonderful, becasue I love seeing my family, and spending time with them, and plus, it was christmas, and name me one thing about christmas that isn't wonderful! I got some wicked cool presents from people, and it's just great. My holiday time has also been messed up beyond all belief, because of a confrontation with some neighbors of ours.. well, technically, a confrontation between me and my best friends mother. It's not been pretty, and it's really the stupidest thing you'll ever hear. But I'm not going to write on it here, we can chat about that anytime.
So yeah, New years eve was quiet for us, because it was my bro's 22nd birthday.. We went to go and see the Narnia movie, which we all enjoyed immensely, then we got home and played Taboo, which is a fun game that mike got mom for christmas. Then, if you can believe it, everyone but me went to bed before midnight! I stayed up, and called Treston at twelve, (3am JA time) and we talked for a bit, he wished me and everyone a happy new year, it was very nice. So I got some wicked new CD's and some cool new DVD's..
See this man? He played a big part in my christmas this year, I got Two DVD's about him, one CD, and Two calendars! I can't wait, it's going to be a fun time when I get back to Calgary.. And I've only just figured out how to add pictures to my blog, tho I think I'm doing it differently, and with more work, than my brother.. Oh well, not much I can do about that.. Not now, anyways.. Other CD's, I got Damian Marley, Peter Tosh, Lauryn Hill, 50 Cent, Shaggy, and ... umm.. one more, that I can't remember right now, but oh well. For DVD's, I got tons! Hotel Rwanda, The Longest Yard, Those 2 Marley DVD's, Secret Window, Moulin Rouge, and Barber Shop 2.. I'm kind of excited.. Even though I dont have a way to watch them in Calgary, i will when I get home.. To be honest, I have no friggen Idea what moulin rouge is about, but I suppose I will have to see, right?
Anyways.. I'm gonna have to end this for now, because I am going to get back to work on my new room.. It's been good, I will update again in the next couple of days.
Much Love
Ashley
Xoxo

Interesting

Well folks, it's been a very busy time in and around the end of the semester, and the beginning of the holidays. I've written four out of my five finals, most of them were challenging, but I don't feel too bad about them. Saturday was the funnest day of my exam week, cause my and my roomies had our own christmas celebration. Saturday evening, we spent walking around the calgary zoo, looking at all the lights, it's like park&Tilford gardens, only bigger. It was cute. Umm after that, we went to subway, then watched some xmas movies, then we baked cookies at one in the morning, then we slept out in the living room underneath the christmas tree. The next morning, we woke up and opened our stockings that each of us filled for one another. It was good fun. Then, if you can believe it, we took down all our christmas decorations, and cleaned/redecorated our whole apartment. it's grand, we're enjoying it immensley. Dont think I spelled that right. oh well.
I'm not going to make this long, just letting you know that i'm alive, and that I'll be home in 20 hours. Woot!
So i'll update once again from home.
I hope, if I dont see you, that you have a wonderful christmas, and lots of love!

Love Forever
Ashley
xoxo

"She says she's born to be wild, and she can't be tamed,
So she keeps on moving, moving right along
Even though deep down inside she knows something is wrong."