Sticks, Stones and Sickness

I've decided that people in general, have the ability to be super mean. Some choose to use it, others will not. I had a message on Nexopia from this random guy, who said that I was an ugly bi***, with an ugly face, and that I should walk around with a bag on my head.
I'll admit, I was upset by it, and had I just stayed home the rest of the night as planned, I would have probably gotten depressed, but I went out for a movie with Alison and her sister. Even though we didnt talk about it, I thought that this random boy's opinion doesnt really matter to me. I know that some will say No one's opinions should matter but my own, but in reality, that's not how things work. But his doesnt to me. I have enough good friends and family who make me feel beautiful, and some boys, like Treston and others who did as well. I've even gotten random comments from people I dont know, that make me feel good about myself. So I don't feel ugly when I think of this random boy's comment to me, only a bit sad that people have within them the ability to be so mean. I can't imagine ever saying something like that to a person, not even someone that I despise. Wow. I guess people are just different, and I'm ok not to be one of the people who are mean. I just can't imagine saying something like that to a person and not feeling totally horrible afterwards. I wonder if people get satisfaction from making other people hurt. I know that not so long ago, something like this would have caused me to go into my room, cry, and begin to believe the lies that were told to me. that was the kind of person that I was. What other people said to me mattered more than anything. Im not going to say that people opinions dont affect me, but I dont let them rule my life anymore. I'm human, words can impact me sometimes, it's just a matter of how much I let it. When people compliment me, I feel good, it's only natural. So when people put me down, of course it will hurt/piss me off, but I can't let it run me. *shrugs* That's all I have to say about that.

So this morning, I woke up about 20 minutes before chapel is due to start downtown, and I dont usually go to chapel, but when I got up this morning, I felt this ... feeling, I guess, telling me to get my butt to chapel. So I did, and I am so glad that I went. Our speakers were a family from the staff at NUC, telling us their story of the battle against cancer in the family. Their daughter was six years old when she was diagnosed with cancer. She is ten years old now, and she got up and told us about her story, then her mother got up, and told it to us from her point of view, and then came the slideshow that absoloutely broke my heart, and I think the hearts of almost everyone in the room. There were pictures of her before her cancer, during the treatments (Chemo, Radiation, blood transfusions, surgerys) and then after. I think nearly everyone in the room shed a few tears, and I wont be ashamed to say that I was close to sobbing. The message that they sent to us today, is that no matter what, God is faithful. Her father talked about Christian Cliches, such as "God won't send you more than what you can handle" and "something good comes of every situation" and "i'll be praying for you" He talked about how real those phrases became to him and his family, during the trials they went through. I think that they are so real, the promies that God gives us, and all we need is for those phrases not to become cliche, for them to become a reality. I mean, this doesnt make my dad having cancer any easier for me to deal with, but in some small way today, I got a dash of hope inserted into my dim looking world. I know that I must be thankful for all God has given me, I know that He will provide for all my needs, and all the needs of my family, and that it is simpy foolish for me to worry about them. All I need to do is pray, and believe, and God's will shall be done, and He will take care of us. Sometimes he calls us home, and sometimes he needs us here. There is a plan and a purpose for everything. No, I do not have it all figured out. No, this is not easy. But God is here.


To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late