Yow wha de go on?
Today was a wierd day.. and it continues to be. I went to moxies with a friend of mine, and on my way back home, I saw this girl, who I had seen before, who I had talked to before. She's really sweet, and just mixed up with the wrong sort of people. I knew that she rolled with the wrong sort of people, and I knew that she would get herself into trouble by chillen where she was chillen. So I stopped to talk to her, and I found out some stuff that had happened to her, and how she had no place to go tonight, cause of family issues. She is sixteen years old, and there was no way I was going to let her spend the night at "crack max" where she was going to. So I bought her some pizza, and told her that if we couldnt find her a place to stay tonight, that she could spend the night with me. And so we're downstairs in the lounge, and headed upstairs soon for some sleep.
I know what some of you are thinking. This is so stupid, I trust too many people, and Im just not smart. But you know what? I think I've found what I'm supposed to do with my life. Help people. Any way that I can. Mabye God will use me this way.. to relate with these people, and to help them...
Of course, I asked my RA and my roomies if they were comfortable with this situation, and they were OK with it. Hopefully things will work themselves out, and that no one will get mad at me, but I just had this feeling, that if I left this girl out on her own, something bad would have happened. So here we are..
Im going to say goodnight now, Respect and have a good evening...
Love always
Ashley
xoxo
"Thank you for saving me
What can I say?
You are my everything
I will sing your praise
Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord
For we know your truth
has set us free
You set your hope in me."
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
random
Evening, Hows it going?
Well today is friday March the Third - it's been snowing like mad all day long! I kind of don't mind it, but seriously - I'm getting sick of hearing how the flowers are in blossom in Vancouver, cause of all that rain... Oh well - Soon enough I'll be home in the flowers and blossoms and joy!
Oh man, somethings wrrong with me, talking about flowers and lovey dovey stuff!
Ok so yesterday my parents called and told me that our great uncle passed away, and that they would be coming to calgary for the weekend. It's my bday tomorrow, and so it will be nice to see them, but once again, under crappy circumstances.
today, I got three cards in the mail, which was super nice, then after classes, me and Crystal and Karen and Bre went shopping, cause I needed new shoes desprately. So I bought Airwalks, and I love them to bits, I'm so excited. Then I ran into a group of guys that I knew, it was fun, they were shopping for vertical blinds and didnt have a clue what they were doing - that's what happens when three guys live in a house with no women. ha ha.
anyways. tonight my parents get here, I'm excited.
My Shaunna and Bre are learning how to bellydance from an instructional video, it's hot, I think I will join them now - so Im going to go for now!
Peace out, have a great weekend!
(sorry this is so random, but yo - it's my life)
Love Forever
Shle
xoxo
It's Close To Midnight And Something Evil's Lurking In The Dark
Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart
You Try To Scream But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It
You Start To Freeze As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,You're Paralyzed
Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
And No One's Gonna Save You From The Beast AboutStrike
You Know It's Thriller, Thriller Night
You're Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer, Thriller Tonight
Well today is friday March the Third - it's been snowing like mad all day long! I kind of don't mind it, but seriously - I'm getting sick of hearing how the flowers are in blossom in Vancouver, cause of all that rain... Oh well - Soon enough I'll be home in the flowers and blossoms and joy!
Oh man, somethings wrrong with me, talking about flowers and lovey dovey stuff!
Ok so yesterday my parents called and told me that our great uncle passed away, and that they would be coming to calgary for the weekend. It's my bday tomorrow, and so it will be nice to see them, but once again, under crappy circumstances.
today, I got three cards in the mail, which was super nice, then after classes, me and Crystal and Karen and Bre went shopping, cause I needed new shoes desprately. So I bought Airwalks, and I love them to bits, I'm so excited. Then I ran into a group of guys that I knew, it was fun, they were shopping for vertical blinds and didnt have a clue what they were doing - that's what happens when three guys live in a house with no women. ha ha.
anyways. tonight my parents get here, I'm excited.
My Shaunna and Bre are learning how to bellydance from an instructional video, it's hot, I think I will join them now - so Im going to go for now!
Peace out, have a great weekend!
(sorry this is so random, but yo - it's my life)
Love Forever
Shle
xoxo
It's Close To Midnight And Something Evil's Lurking In The Dark
Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart
You Try To Scream But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It
You Start To Freeze As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,You're Paralyzed
Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
And No One's Gonna Save You From The Beast AboutStrike
You Know It's Thriller, Thriller Night
You're Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer, Thriller Tonight
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Never thought I'd say it
Lent is marked by a time of prayer and preparation to celebrate Easter. Since Sundays celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the six Sundays that occur during Lent are not counted as part of the 40 days of Lent, and are referred to as the Sundays in Lent. The number 40 is connected with many biblical events, but especially with the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for His ministry by facing the temptations that could lead him to abandon his father and his purpose on Earth.. Christians today use this period of time for introspection, self examination, and repentance.
In Lent, it's traditional to give up something that we do a lot of and that we find pleasure in. This 'giving up' is done as a discipline for learning self-control, to free our minds from the chase after material things, and as a reminder of Christ's sufferings. Sometimes we don't notice how certain things we do have gained power over us and dictate our actions. In Lent, we discover these things and give them up so that God can be in charge. the less that 'stuff' preoccupies your life, the more room there is for God.
I grew up wondering why my aunts and uncles and grandparents gave stuff up for Lent, I never understood it, why would anyone want to give up mcdonalds? I mean, seriously, what was the purpose? But over the years, my faith has matured, and I understand this as more than just some catholic tradition, but an act of obedience, an act of faith. So if you know me, there's lots that I could give up for lent. My roomies suggested that I give up ice cubes in my water, but that's just silly, I need to give up something different. So I thought, what can I give up?
Then it came to me. So from tomorrow, I'm not going to listen to reggae music. Do you think I can do it? Well.. I do, so here goes nothing. Less Junk, more room for God.
Love forever: Shle
xoxo
When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul
Though Satan should buffet
though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul
In Lent, it's traditional to give up something that we do a lot of and that we find pleasure in. This 'giving up' is done as a discipline for learning self-control, to free our minds from the chase after material things, and as a reminder of Christ's sufferings. Sometimes we don't notice how certain things we do have gained power over us and dictate our actions. In Lent, we discover these things and give them up so that God can be in charge. the less that 'stuff' preoccupies your life, the more room there is for God.
I grew up wondering why my aunts and uncles and grandparents gave stuff up for Lent, I never understood it, why would anyone want to give up mcdonalds? I mean, seriously, what was the purpose? But over the years, my faith has matured, and I understand this as more than just some catholic tradition, but an act of obedience, an act of faith. So if you know me, there's lots that I could give up for lent. My roomies suggested that I give up ice cubes in my water, but that's just silly, I need to give up something different. So I thought, what can I give up?
Then it came to me. So from tomorrow, I'm not going to listen to reggae music. Do you think I can do it? Well.. I do, so here goes nothing. Less Junk, more room for God.
Love forever: Shle
xoxo
When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul
Though Satan should buffet
though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul
Saturday, February 25, 2006
ill
I am sooooo sick it's not funny. I spent the last week in Edmonton with my aunt and two cousins, and yesterday I woke up with the flu and bad! I caught it from my youngest cousin bobby, and now I feel like absoloute crap. Mike and Cara are picking me up tomorrow, we're driving back to calgary. Im excited, but I keep finding myself wishing that we would just drive home, and leave me there. That's the sick in me coming out, I guess when I'm sick I like to be with my mommy...
Ok Peace out - headache and stuff
Shle
xoxo
Ok Peace out - headache and stuff
Shle
xoxo
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
unintentional, unknown, undone..
I dont know where tihs is going to end up going, but I feel the urge to write. So here I am. I have no better place to put my feelings right now than right here on my blog.
Sometimes I wish (and I don't think I'm alone here) that we could go back to the times when life was simple. So many innocent things from the past swim infront of my eyes as if they belong there. Back when the ice cream truck brought the most excitement of the day. Back when going to meet my mom at the park on school lunch hours was the thing I most looked forward to. Back to when laying on the floor laughing with a friend was the funnest thing to do around the house. I pause at least once a day to reminisce on the past, and these are the things that I remember the most. The happiest times, before I became a love sick teenager, before I knew what alchohol tasted like, before everything changed. I dont know of an exact time when it all happened. We loose our innocence a day at a time. But we all know where the most damage occured, and that was back on the beaches of some tropical Island. Where I tasted freedom, and decided to use it to my own advantage, as well as my own demise. I abused the freedom that I was entrusted with. My innocence was dashed away along with any hopes at living the pure life I only can dream about now. I changed.
Now here I am, two years down the road. sometimes I look back at those stolen moments in Jamaica and I feel used. Sometimes I look back at them and feel filthy - sometimes I just don't know what to feel or what to think, and so I draw myself in and hide from the world behind a filthy sheet of glass - so everyone can only see my shadow. But sometimes, I am open. Now. I admit that I'm lost. I admit that I don't know what Im doing anymore. I admit that I'm scared. Scared of the past. scared of today. scared of the future.
It's a frightening prospect to consider that we don't know ANYTHING about what will happen in the future. Sure, people make plans, but it's not until they have been fulfilled that we know what's going on. And then there are people like me, who have no plans whatsoever.
What do I do? there are so many choices for my near future. I go to BC, but then what? Do I work? Do I go to school? How about both? Ok, and once that's decided, what happens when September rolls around. School or what? Ok, here are some things I've thought about. 1. I go to Cap, I start my university transfer program like a good little girl. 2. I go back to AUC/NUC, so long as I dont have to live in Res.... 3. I go to Tyndale university in Ontario. (no, I will not live with my grandmother or aunt) 4. I go to New Zeland and attend Capenray. 5. I go somewhere exotic, for no reason other than experience.
Now some of you will look at this list and say that I am bieng unrealistic. But I don't think so. Every idea on this list is completely achievable. I just don't quite know what to do with myself.
So for now, I choose to sleep. Mabye tomorrow I will tackle the insane question of what to do with my life.....
Love Forever
Ashley
Xoxo
P.S. Hi Whitney....
If you want to destroy My sweater
Hold this thread, and Just walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor
I've come Undone.
Sometimes I wish (and I don't think I'm alone here) that we could go back to the times when life was simple. So many innocent things from the past swim infront of my eyes as if they belong there. Back when the ice cream truck brought the most excitement of the day. Back when going to meet my mom at the park on school lunch hours was the thing I most looked forward to. Back to when laying on the floor laughing with a friend was the funnest thing to do around the house. I pause at least once a day to reminisce on the past, and these are the things that I remember the most. The happiest times, before I became a love sick teenager, before I knew what alchohol tasted like, before everything changed. I dont know of an exact time when it all happened. We loose our innocence a day at a time. But we all know where the most damage occured, and that was back on the beaches of some tropical Island. Where I tasted freedom, and decided to use it to my own advantage, as well as my own demise. I abused the freedom that I was entrusted with. My innocence was dashed away along with any hopes at living the pure life I only can dream about now. I changed.
Now here I am, two years down the road. sometimes I look back at those stolen moments in Jamaica and I feel used. Sometimes I look back at them and feel filthy - sometimes I just don't know what to feel or what to think, and so I draw myself in and hide from the world behind a filthy sheet of glass - so everyone can only see my shadow. But sometimes, I am open. Now. I admit that I'm lost. I admit that I don't know what Im doing anymore. I admit that I'm scared. Scared of the past. scared of today. scared of the future.
It's a frightening prospect to consider that we don't know ANYTHING about what will happen in the future. Sure, people make plans, but it's not until they have been fulfilled that we know what's going on. And then there are people like me, who have no plans whatsoever.
What do I do? there are so many choices for my near future. I go to BC, but then what? Do I work? Do I go to school? How about both? Ok, and once that's decided, what happens when September rolls around. School or what? Ok, here are some things I've thought about. 1. I go to Cap, I start my university transfer program like a good little girl. 2. I go back to AUC/NUC, so long as I dont have to live in Res.... 3. I go to Tyndale university in Ontario. (no, I will not live with my grandmother or aunt) 4. I go to New Zeland and attend Capenray. 5. I go somewhere exotic, for no reason other than experience.
Now some of you will look at this list and say that I am bieng unrealistic. But I don't think so. Every idea on this list is completely achievable. I just don't quite know what to do with myself.
So for now, I choose to sleep. Mabye tomorrow I will tackle the insane question of what to do with my life.....
Love Forever
Ashley
Xoxo
P.S. Hi Whitney....
If you want to destroy My sweater
Hold this thread, and Just walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor
I've come Undone.
Monday, February 20, 2006
I can't believe this
I'd like to think that if things had gone as planned, I would have been writing tihs from sunny San Jose, Costa Rica. Alas plans are not always as solid as we'd like, and so they change, mad tings rearrange.
I knew someting was wrong when it took an hour and a half to move the six people infront of us in line thru the check in. When I walked towards the counter, they told me the flight was cancelled, and that the earliest they could get us out would have been wednsday. Tim made the decision that it would simply not be enough time for us to be in Costa Rica. So the whole ting was called off. We got our butts back to res, and my roomie went on the first bus to Swift Current, while I slept for a couple hours, then my mom got me a flight to edmonton, where I am now, chillen with my family. I spent yesterday taking out my braids, and im glad for it, they were starting to annoy me.. anyways..
So here I am, watching toy story, surrounded by my beautiful little cousins. Ummm.. yeah.. Im going to go for now..
Nuff nuff love and respect
One Love Forever
Ashley
xoxo
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles, then I got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
If we stick together we can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me
Yes, you've got a friend in me
Now some other folks might
Be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too. Maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do
Just me and you, boy
I knew someting was wrong when it took an hour and a half to move the six people infront of us in line thru the check in. When I walked towards the counter, they told me the flight was cancelled, and that the earliest they could get us out would have been wednsday. Tim made the decision that it would simply not be enough time for us to be in Costa Rica. So the whole ting was called off. We got our butts back to res, and my roomie went on the first bus to Swift Current, while I slept for a couple hours, then my mom got me a flight to edmonton, where I am now, chillen with my family. I spent yesterday taking out my braids, and im glad for it, they were starting to annoy me.. anyways..
So here I am, watching toy story, surrounded by my beautiful little cousins. Ummm.. yeah.. Im going to go for now..
Nuff nuff love and respect
One Love Forever
Ashley
xoxo
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles, then I got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
If we stick together we can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me
Yes, you've got a friend in me
Now some other folks might
Be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too. Maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do
Just me and you, boy
Friday, February 17, 2006
Costa Rica
When I first heard about the chance to go to Costa Rica on intercession, I thought that it would be such a good trip. Naturally, I decided that I would do anything in order to go on that trip. After all, I love to travel. Sure, the other options sounded interesting, but this one stuck out to me. I had a feeling that perhaps this trip would be the highlight of my first year of college. Now, as the trip draws near, I find myself wondering what it’s going to be like.
There are a lot of things that I need to take into consideration in preparation for this trip. One of them is the language. Personally, I feel like this will be the most frustrating aspect of the trip for me. Not being able to verbally communicate with the girls and their children is going to be very difficult for me. I think though, that by having this experience, I will be able to appreciate more the importance of non-verbal communication. I am going to have to really work on making myself seem approachable, and kind, without saying a word.
Another thing that I’ve been thinking about, is the girls themselves, in the shelter. I think that this trip will be emotionally trying for me. Even though I know what I am going to see, (young girls who have been hurt, and who have children) I can’t seem to prepare myself for the sight of these girls, who wont get to enjoy their young lives, like I have. Like I am. It’s going to be hard to go there and see girls, younger than me, who have children. Each time I think of this, I am so sad, and I tend to imagine how different my life would be if I were in their position. I can only imagine how used, how betrayed, and how sad these girls are going to be. And seeing that, I think, will break my heart. But then again, I might be surprised, and find them to be happy. This happened to me once, I visited a third world country and thought that the people there would all be very sad and lonely, but instead, found them to be happy, and thankful for what they had. This experience lead me to consider how lucky I am. I think that this trip will also do the same for me. I will see these girls, and realize how blessed I am, to lead the life I do. I will see them and their children, and hopefully learn to be thankful for what I have, and not worry about what I don’t have.
When I was told that we would be providing child care for the girls there, I got very excited. I happen to love children, and I have found that even the shyest smile can light up my day. My fear for spending time with these children is that there will be one very special little girl or boy, that I will become attached to, and it will break my heart (once again) to leave them. I am not, however, worried that spending time with these kids will be a hassle, or that it will stress me out, because I know myself, and I know that children have a special place in my heart, and always will, no matter their background, no matter their circumstance. I know that these children will have the ability from first glance, to light up my day.
Some other things that would normally be an issue for some people, are climate and culture. I know that both will be very different than what I am used to, but having traveled to a country much like Costa Rica before, I think that getting used to the heat and bugs and creatures will be the least of my worries. The culture will be fascinating to me, and I will have to do my best not to get completely drawn in, for fear that I will not want to leave when the time comes.
Overall, I feel like this trip will be an amazing experience. I welcome the pain that the circumstances might bring, I welcome the joy that the people might bring to my heart, and I welcome the unknown. I don’t know what to expect, but I have learned to expect great things from my maker.
Love Forever
Shle
xoxo
"Huh, please don't you rock my boat
'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin' anyhow
Please don't you rock my boat, no
'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin'
I'm tellin' you that, oh, ooh-aah,
I like it a-like a-thisCan you miss?
And you should know, ooh-aah,
when I like it a-like a-this
Am I really it?
Ooh yeah
You satis- satis- satisfy my soul, morning time
Evening cold, -fy my soul
Yes, I've been a-tellin' you,
bake me the sweetest cakesI
'm happy inside all the time
Oh, can't you see what you've done for me?"
There are a lot of things that I need to take into consideration in preparation for this trip. One of them is the language. Personally, I feel like this will be the most frustrating aspect of the trip for me. Not being able to verbally communicate with the girls and their children is going to be very difficult for me. I think though, that by having this experience, I will be able to appreciate more the importance of non-verbal communication. I am going to have to really work on making myself seem approachable, and kind, without saying a word.
Another thing that I’ve been thinking about, is the girls themselves, in the shelter. I think that this trip will be emotionally trying for me. Even though I know what I am going to see, (young girls who have been hurt, and who have children) I can’t seem to prepare myself for the sight of these girls, who wont get to enjoy their young lives, like I have. Like I am. It’s going to be hard to go there and see girls, younger than me, who have children. Each time I think of this, I am so sad, and I tend to imagine how different my life would be if I were in their position. I can only imagine how used, how betrayed, and how sad these girls are going to be. And seeing that, I think, will break my heart. But then again, I might be surprised, and find them to be happy. This happened to me once, I visited a third world country and thought that the people there would all be very sad and lonely, but instead, found them to be happy, and thankful for what they had. This experience lead me to consider how lucky I am. I think that this trip will also do the same for me. I will see these girls, and realize how blessed I am, to lead the life I do. I will see them and their children, and hopefully learn to be thankful for what I have, and not worry about what I don’t have.
When I was told that we would be providing child care for the girls there, I got very excited. I happen to love children, and I have found that even the shyest smile can light up my day. My fear for spending time with these children is that there will be one very special little girl or boy, that I will become attached to, and it will break my heart (once again) to leave them. I am not, however, worried that spending time with these kids will be a hassle, or that it will stress me out, because I know myself, and I know that children have a special place in my heart, and always will, no matter their background, no matter their circumstance. I know that these children will have the ability from first glance, to light up my day.
Some other things that would normally be an issue for some people, are climate and culture. I know that both will be very different than what I am used to, but having traveled to a country much like Costa Rica before, I think that getting used to the heat and bugs and creatures will be the least of my worries. The culture will be fascinating to me, and I will have to do my best not to get completely drawn in, for fear that I will not want to leave when the time comes.
Overall, I feel like this trip will be an amazing experience. I welcome the pain that the circumstances might bring, I welcome the joy that the people might bring to my heart, and I welcome the unknown. I don’t know what to expect, but I have learned to expect great things from my maker.
Love Forever
Shle
xoxo
"Huh, please don't you rock my boat
'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin' anyhow
Please don't you rock my boat, no
'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin'
I'm tellin' you that, oh, ooh-aah,
I like it a-like a-thisCan you miss?
And you should know, ooh-aah,
when I like it a-like a-this
Am I really it?
Ooh yeah
You satis- satis- satisfy my soul, morning time
Evening cold, -fy my soul
Yes, I've been a-tellin' you,
bake me the sweetest cakesI
'm happy inside all the time
Oh, can't you see what you've done for me?"
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Personality
I took a personality test.. Yes I am bored. These are my results..
You are fun, spontaneous, clever and interesting. People like to be around you because of your easygoing nature.
You like to wake up each morning without a plan and see where the day takes you, hopefully on some safe but relatively exciting adventure.
You excel in composition. You know what looks good together, what sounds good together, and what smells or tastes go together. This comes from a higher than normal tuned in attention to slight variations in color, texture, tone, and flavor.
You like to see everyone living harmoniously and can get irritated by whoever is currently rocking the boat and causing problems.
When faced with a problem you are most likely to solve it in the most obvious way, not implementing cumbersome standard methods or finding what is “socially acceptable” first.
Most people you interact with do not really know you. This is partially because of your reserved nature (you don’t tell them much), partially because most other types are less reserved (they spend too much time talking and not enough asking about you), and partially because you accept people the way they are (you don’t feel much of a need to correct and evaluate others, so people don’t realize how you think differently).
In fact, you have more interest in expressing yourself physically, through song, dance, or actions, than verbally, and you may give up too quickly when someone asks for a verbal explanation of your thoughts.
You prefer hands-on practical work. You may tolerate other types of work, but you’re never happier than when you’re building, fixing or creating something you can see, touch, taste or hear. You prefer work which is not fixed to a procedure, but which may, at any time, take an entirely new direction if the impulse hits you.
As a parent or leader you are non-directive, preferring to see what happens on its own rather than lay down strict procedures and give orders. To you it is understood that any procedures developed by necessity today disappear tomorrow unless they are still absolutely required.
If you do become difficult or cranky it is usually a result of someone else trying to impose some rule or boundary upon you personally, although your discomfort is almost always short lived and relatively painless for all involved.
You are fun, spontaneous, clever and interesting. People like to be around you because of your easygoing nature.
You like to wake up each morning without a plan and see where the day takes you, hopefully on some safe but relatively exciting adventure.
You excel in composition. You know what looks good together, what sounds good together, and what smells or tastes go together. This comes from a higher than normal tuned in attention to slight variations in color, texture, tone, and flavor.
You like to see everyone living harmoniously and can get irritated by whoever is currently rocking the boat and causing problems.
When faced with a problem you are most likely to solve it in the most obvious way, not implementing cumbersome standard methods or finding what is “socially acceptable” first.
Most people you interact with do not really know you. This is partially because of your reserved nature (you don’t tell them much), partially because most other types are less reserved (they spend too much time talking and not enough asking about you), and partially because you accept people the way they are (you don’t feel much of a need to correct and evaluate others, so people don’t realize how you think differently).
In fact, you have more interest in expressing yourself physically, through song, dance, or actions, than verbally, and you may give up too quickly when someone asks for a verbal explanation of your thoughts.
You prefer hands-on practical work. You may tolerate other types of work, but you’re never happier than when you’re building, fixing or creating something you can see, touch, taste or hear. You prefer work which is not fixed to a procedure, but which may, at any time, take an entirely new direction if the impulse hits you.
As a parent or leader you are non-directive, preferring to see what happens on its own rather than lay down strict procedures and give orders. To you it is understood that any procedures developed by necessity today disappear tomorrow unless they are still absolutely required.
If you do become difficult or cranky it is usually a result of someone else trying to impose some rule or boundary upon you personally, although your discomfort is almost always short lived and relatively painless for all involved.
Only you
Valentine's Day n : a day for the exchange of tokens of affection .
I woke up this morning to the intercom of my apartment buzzing like mad, and so I scrambled out of bed to see what the fuss was. It turns out there was a delivery for my roomate, Shaunna. As she was definately still asleep, I offered to go downstairs to retrive it. There, in the doorway of res, was a vase full of long stem red roses, addressed to Miss Shaunna Rempel. Wow, she was so suprised when she woke up and found them there, and so happy. It turns out, the guy who she likes, who lives in BC, likes her back, and sent them to her. It was beautiful.
Dont you remember the days when we'd spend time making little paper bag mailboxes to tape to the side of our desks, and the happiness we'd feel when we'd get a valentine in them? Little did we realize back then, but everyone would be given a class list so as not to leave anyone out of the fun. I can't imagine how I would have cried if my paper mailbox had been empty. But we know that we do not like to be left out. This is why so many people today are what I like to call "bitter valentines" Today is a day for love, or so many people say. I was thinking about how many single people hate valentines day, because they feel left out, forgotten. So many people think that valentines day is just for couples who are madly in love, and nothing else.
Personally, I think that Valentines day Is a day for love, but not nesicarrily just love between couples. Love between friends, love between friends, love between.. well everyone.
Wow.. I just realized how much I sound likea hippie.
Oh well, that's the just of it.. Today I woke up with valentines all over my front door, it made me feel special.. I also felt special giving out valentines..
It's jsut one of those days..
Today is Trestons birthday. I found it hard to deal with, until I finally caved in and phoned him like a good ex-girlfriend. I wished him a happy birthday, and he said thank you, and told me that he missed me and that he would always be there for me. It went well. But I miss him now..
After I hung up with him, I felt a million emotions at once. I felt like smiling, like crying, like laughing, and suprisingly, this is exactly what I did. If you had seen my face, it would have confused you sooo much, that I would have had to laugh at you.. But then I would have been extremely messed up... Hahahahaha
OK So enough of that.
Im going to go to my public speaking class.
Have a wicked day, and I hope, if you are a bitter valentine, that you feel better tomorrow.
Much Love
Forever
Shle
xoxo
"Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
Get on the floor and move your booty moma
We the blast masters blastin' up the jamma
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like in a the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look realli make me really feel nauuughty"
I woke up this morning to the intercom of my apartment buzzing like mad, and so I scrambled out of bed to see what the fuss was. It turns out there was a delivery for my roomate, Shaunna. As she was definately still asleep, I offered to go downstairs to retrive it. There, in the doorway of res, was a vase full of long stem red roses, addressed to Miss Shaunna Rempel. Wow, she was so suprised when she woke up and found them there, and so happy. It turns out, the guy who she likes, who lives in BC, likes her back, and sent them to her. It was beautiful.
Dont you remember the days when we'd spend time making little paper bag mailboxes to tape to the side of our desks, and the happiness we'd feel when we'd get a valentine in them? Little did we realize back then, but everyone would be given a class list so as not to leave anyone out of the fun. I can't imagine how I would have cried if my paper mailbox had been empty. But we know that we do not like to be left out. This is why so many people today are what I like to call "bitter valentines" Today is a day for love, or so many people say. I was thinking about how many single people hate valentines day, because they feel left out, forgotten. So many people think that valentines day is just for couples who are madly in love, and nothing else.
Personally, I think that Valentines day Is a day for love, but not nesicarrily just love between couples. Love between friends, love between friends, love between.. well everyone.
Wow.. I just realized how much I sound likea hippie.
Oh well, that's the just of it.. Today I woke up with valentines all over my front door, it made me feel special.. I also felt special giving out valentines..
It's jsut one of those days..
Today is Trestons birthday. I found it hard to deal with, until I finally caved in and phoned him like a good ex-girlfriend. I wished him a happy birthday, and he said thank you, and told me that he missed me and that he would always be there for me. It went well. But I miss him now..
After I hung up with him, I felt a million emotions at once. I felt like smiling, like crying, like laughing, and suprisingly, this is exactly what I did. If you had seen my face, it would have confused you sooo much, that I would have had to laugh at you.. But then I would have been extremely messed up... Hahahahaha
OK So enough of that.
Im going to go to my public speaking class.
Have a wicked day, and I hope, if you are a bitter valentine, that you feel better tomorrow.
Much Love
Forever
Shle
xoxo
"Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
Get on the floor and move your booty moma
We the blast masters blastin' up the jamma
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like in a the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look realli make me really feel nauuughty"
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Babylon Release the Cure
"My style of music is just to uplift and soothe people from them problems. Emotionally, spiritual and physical. My style of music is just to feel the heart and the mind. I would call it Reggae, cause this is around that…I’ll never change. Never. For no reason, never. I rise to greater levels, but never change. Only betterment. "
- Jah Cure
He is amazing - every song I hear of his, I can just feel the vibes, and what he says is true.
His voice and the words he sings are just chill - he is in such a bad state of life right now,
but he is still praising Jah - bless up and nuff respect fi di man.
Ashley xoxo
"behind these prison walls
doing my paces doing my time
spending my restless nights visioning faces
oh they all crying
prison a no bed a roses
the livity it makes me bawl
i wish that jah could come and take us back in time cause
I swear i can be a better man
yes i swear if only you could understand
the faith in me shall set me free
reflection"
- Jah Cure
He is amazing - every song I hear of his, I can just feel the vibes, and what he says is true.
His voice and the words he sings are just chill - he is in such a bad state of life right now,
but he is still praising Jah - bless up and nuff respect fi di man.
Ashley xoxo
"behind these prison walls
doing my paces doing my time
spending my restless nights visioning faces
oh they all crying
prison a no bed a roses
the livity it makes me bawl
i wish that jah could come and take us back in time cause
I swear i can be a better man
yes i swear if only you could understand
the faith in me shall set me free
reflection"
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Trust me
I think that it is important to trust people. I have recently become aquainted with a person, who is from Toronto, and we now talk to each other on the intenet. It frustrates me when people just assume that because we are getting to know each other online, that everything he says can be a lie. It is possible, but I've decided just to trust him, to trust that he has no reason to lie to me and that I have no reason to lie to him. Relationships can't be built when there is no trust involved, and can't be kept when there is no trust.
I recently learned this the hard way, trusting people can lead to pain - but if you will permit me, I will take an idea from a song - I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance. You see, hurt is inevitable - and avoiding it entirely, just because it's possible, also means that you dont get to have the good times. If I could go back in time to the beginning of my friendship with Tricia, knowing that in the end, she would hurt me the way she did, I dont think that I would have avoided it. There were too many good times involved for me to want to give it all up. I wish that people would understand that avoiding pain is not always the best way to go. I dont want to miss out on good times just because I know in the end that it might hurt me.
For now, I choose to trust - mabye not those who have hurt me already, but I choose to trust C (my friend from Toronto) . I choose to trust, and that choice is mine alone to make. Think about it - if I never trust that means i'll never love - and if I never love, then what is the point in life?
So .. I guess for now - i'll peace
Have a good day
Love forever
ashley xoxo
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
I recently learned this the hard way, trusting people can lead to pain - but if you will permit me, I will take an idea from a song - I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance. You see, hurt is inevitable - and avoiding it entirely, just because it's possible, also means that you dont get to have the good times. If I could go back in time to the beginning of my friendship with Tricia, knowing that in the end, she would hurt me the way she did, I dont think that I would have avoided it. There were too many good times involved for me to want to give it all up. I wish that people would understand that avoiding pain is not always the best way to go. I dont want to miss out on good times just because I know in the end that it might hurt me.
For now, I choose to trust - mabye not those who have hurt me already, but I choose to trust C (my friend from Toronto) . I choose to trust, and that choice is mine alone to make. Think about it - if I never trust that means i'll never love - and if I never love, then what is the point in life?
So .. I guess for now - i'll peace
Have a good day
Love forever
ashley xoxo
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
dreamin..
My life is random! ! ! I am wondering of course, when that doesn't happen. it's like.. all the time now. Mabye it always has been. I've just been thinking about how excited I am to go home. It's still a far way off, but at the same time, life has just been zooooom-zooming by! It's hard to believe that I've been out of high school for seven months already, and for some reason, this past week, i've been dreaming about people from north van, like.. every single night. It's random. One night I dreamed that the pool hall just a couple of blocks from here, was like a grocery store, and that all the people I graduated with were in there, talking on their cell phones to each other. And Sam and I were in the back room, and he was giving me this gigantic tattoo on my arm of a rose, which was pretty, but at the same time.. sam .. giving me a tattoo? in the pool hall.. Wierd! and even Mrs. Cook was there, which is even wierder.
Lol.. And the night after that random dream, I dreamed that I was walking along seventh and along came Cody and the whole gang, and then I got into a mini-van with them, (wierd) and we parked it at the hardware store infront of my house in Van, and then I went inside and bought alcohol for all of them.. From a hardware storee. because they weren't old enough..
And then Cody crashed the car into a sign... Honestly, it was soooo wierd!
Then Last night, I dreamed the wierdest dream i've EVER dreamed in my whole life. I dreamed that my left foot was missing two toes, but it was just the right size for a newborn baby who didnt have a foot, so they cut mine off with a red knife (ICK) and sewed it onto this babies foot. How disgusting is that.... Then I walked around on a stump and it wasnt even bandaged up or anything, so you could see all the gross stuff.... Ick, im getting shivers just thinking about how gross that is.. Ok enough of that..
So whats with that, eh? I can't possibly remember more than seven or eight dreams from my WHOLE life back in BC - and since i've been in calgary, i've been dreaming up a storm! Like.. three random dreams in the last week.. alone! Whats a girl to do? *sigh*
Ok so .. that's that for that.
I look like a hippie right now, because I have on a bandanna, and my glasses, and my braids give off the illusion of straight, long hair.. so I've decided I look like a hippie. I dont think i meant to do it tho.. infact, i didnt.. but I looked in the mirror, and so now that's what I look like, lol.
Ok I think I will go for now..
Much love and respect
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
Lol.. And the night after that random dream, I dreamed that I was walking along seventh and along came Cody and the whole gang, and then I got into a mini-van with them, (wierd) and we parked it at the hardware store infront of my house in Van, and then I went inside and bought alcohol for all of them.. From a hardware storee. because they weren't old enough..
And then Cody crashed the car into a sign... Honestly, it was soooo wierd!
Then Last night, I dreamed the wierdest dream i've EVER dreamed in my whole life. I dreamed that my left foot was missing two toes, but it was just the right size for a newborn baby who didnt have a foot, so they cut mine off with a red knife (ICK) and sewed it onto this babies foot. How disgusting is that.... Then I walked around on a stump and it wasnt even bandaged up or anything, so you could see all the gross stuff.... Ick, im getting shivers just thinking about how gross that is.. Ok enough of that..
So whats with that, eh? I can't possibly remember more than seven or eight dreams from my WHOLE life back in BC - and since i've been in calgary, i've been dreaming up a storm! Like.. three random dreams in the last week.. alone! Whats a girl to do? *sigh*
Ok so .. that's that for that.
I look like a hippie right now, because I have on a bandanna, and my glasses, and my braids give off the illusion of straight, long hair.. so I've decided I look like a hippie. I dont think i meant to do it tho.. infact, i didnt.. but I looked in the mirror, and so now that's what I look like, lol.
Ok I think I will go for now..
Much love and respect
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
Saturday, February 04, 2006
5 Means You're It
Cowboy?
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[x] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[ ] Do you like to get dirty?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[ ] Do you live on more then 2 acres?
[ ] Do you have more than 4 different animals at your home?
Total = 2
Goth?
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[ ] Do you think about death often?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[ ] Are you a social outcast?
[ ] Are you pale?
[ ] Do you like Hot Topic?
[ ] Do you enjoyTim burton movies?
[x] Are you mean?
Total = 3
Punk?
[ ] Can you skateboard
[ ] Do you wear Vans?
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[ ] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you like/wear mohawks?
[x] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[x] Have you called someone a poser?
Total = 4
Prep?
[ ] Do you say the word "like"?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/Aero?
[ ] Do you pop the collar?
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[ ] Is the only nerd you like Seth Cohen?
[ ] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] You like pop music?
[ ] Do you want/have a little dog?
Total = o
Hippie?
[x] Is your hair long?
[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unneccesary?
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
Total = 4
Gangstaaaa?
[x ] Do you act ghetto?
[x ] Do you wear do-rags?
[x] Do you like hip-hop?
[x] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[x] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] Do you like to dance?
[x] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total = 8 - im pretty much gangsta
Emo?
[ ] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[ ] Do you like soft music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[ ] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[ ] Do you cut your hair?
[ ] Are you lonely?
[] Is "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights, a good song?
Total = 3
Surfer?
[ ] Do you surf?
[x] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[x] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x ] Do you hate tourists?
Total = 5
Geek?
[x] Do you wear glasses?
[x] Do you get good grades?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x ] Are you on the computer often?
[ ] Do you ever get picked on?
[ ] Do you look forward to going to school?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[ ] Do you play video games?
Total = 3
so aparently, im a gangsta/surfer.. that's amsuing.. cause it's nowhere near true... surfer???What the hell! lol
Cowboy?
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[x] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[ ] Do you like to get dirty?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[ ] Do you live on more then 2 acres?
[ ] Do you have more than 4 different animals at your home?
Total = 2
Goth?
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[ ] Do you think about death often?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[ ] Are you a social outcast?
[ ] Are you pale?
[ ] Do you like Hot Topic?
[ ] Do you enjoyTim burton movies?
[x] Are you mean?
Total = 3
Punk?
[ ] Can you skateboard
[ ] Do you wear Vans?
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[ ] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you like/wear mohawks?
[x] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[x] Have you called someone a poser?
Total = 4
Prep?
[ ] Do you say the word "like"?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/Aero?
[ ] Do you pop the collar?
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[ ] Is the only nerd you like Seth Cohen?
[ ] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] You like pop music?
[ ] Do you want/have a little dog?
Total = o
Hippie?
[x] Is your hair long?
[ ] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unneccesary?
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
Total = 4
Gangstaaaa?
[x ] Do you act ghetto?
[x ] Do you wear do-rags?
[x] Do you like hip-hop?
[x] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[x] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] Do you like to dance?
[x] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total = 8 - im pretty much gangsta
Emo?
[ ] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[ ] Do you like soft music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[ ] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[ ] Do you cut your hair?
[ ] Are you lonely?
[] Is "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights, a good song?
Total = 3
Surfer?
[ ] Do you surf?
[x] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[x] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x ] Do you hate tourists?
Total = 5
Geek?
[x] Do you wear glasses?
[x] Do you get good grades?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x ] Are you on the computer often?
[ ] Do you ever get picked on?
[ ] Do you look forward to going to school?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[ ] Do you play video games?
Total = 3
so aparently, im a gangsta/surfer.. that's amsuing.. cause it's nowhere near true... surfer???What the hell! lol
Dance the night away
You know what I like?
I like Sean Paul. He honestly has the most unique voice and it's just soooo hot.. When I hear his voice, I get so hyped up I just want to dance all night. Too bad I go to a school that think Dancing leads to sex.... Lol.... If I didn't, I would probably go dancing every weekend, when I go back to BC I think I will like to go dancing, just a matter of finding someone to go with, na true?
I just thought Id share that, dont quite know why, lol. I think it's just because sean paul came on the radio, and I had the urge to dance around the room, but instead, I danced around in my chair, and my roomies think I'm crazy. That's how it goes sometimes..
So ... I just wanted to say that I like sean paul and dancing...
Nuff Love
Ashley
xoxo
In the words of Sean Paul:
When you roll with a player like me...with a brother like me gyal there is no other
No need to talk it right here just park it right here keep it undercover
From mi love how you fitt in ya blouse and you phat in ya jeans
and mi waan discover..Everyting bout you baby girl can you hear when mi utter...
Woman the way that I'm cold I wanna be keeping you warm
I got the right temprature fi shelter you from the storm
Oh lord, gyal I got the right tactics to turn you on,
and girl I...Wanna be the Papa...You can be the Ma
(oh goodness)
I like Sean Paul. He honestly has the most unique voice and it's just soooo hot.. When I hear his voice, I get so hyped up I just want to dance all night. Too bad I go to a school that think Dancing leads to sex.... Lol.... If I didn't, I would probably go dancing every weekend, when I go back to BC I think I will like to go dancing, just a matter of finding someone to go with, na true?
I just thought Id share that, dont quite know why, lol. I think it's just because sean paul came on the radio, and I had the urge to dance around the room, but instead, I danced around in my chair, and my roomies think I'm crazy. That's how it goes sometimes..
So ... I just wanted to say that I like sean paul and dancing...
Nuff Love
Ashley
xoxo
In the words of Sean Paul:
When you roll with a player like me...with a brother like me gyal there is no other
No need to talk it right here just park it right here keep it undercover
From mi love how you fitt in ya blouse and you phat in ya jeans
and mi waan discover..Everyting bout you baby girl can you hear when mi utter...
Woman the way that I'm cold I wanna be keeping you warm
I got the right temprature fi shelter you from the storm
Oh lord, gyal I got the right tactics to turn you on,
and girl I...Wanna be the Papa...You can be the Ma
(oh goodness)
Friday, February 03, 2006
thought you ought to know
These are some things that I like..
1. Sunshine
2. Bieng warm
3. Hugs
4. Loud Music
5. True Friends
6. The Ocean
7. Meeting new people
8. Travelling
9. Taking pictures
10. Reading good books in the sunshine
These are some things that I don't like
1. Liars
2. Bad drivers
3. Mean people - especially girls
4. Techno and Gwen Stefani
5. feeling sick
6. Bieng alone
7. Bieng quiet
8. Waking up in the morning
9. Friends who use you
10. Self Consious people
1. Sunshine
2. Bieng warm
3. Hugs
4. Loud Music
5. True Friends
6. The Ocean
7. Meeting new people
8. Travelling
9. Taking pictures
10. Reading good books in the sunshine
These are some things that I don't like
1. Liars
2. Bad drivers
3. Mean people - especially girls
4. Techno and Gwen Stefani
5. feeling sick
6. Bieng alone
7. Bieng quiet
8. Waking up in the morning
9. Friends who use you
10. Self Consious people
Monday, January 30, 2006
Psalm 29
The Voice of God in a Great Storm
A Psalm of David.
1 Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory of his name; worship the LORD in holy splendor.
3 The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD, over mighty waters.
4 The voice of the LORD is powerful;the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.
5 The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, and Sirion like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the LORD flashes forth flames of fire.
8 The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness; the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the LORD causes the oaks to whirl, and strips the forest bare; and in his temple all say, "Glory!"
10 The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
11 May the LORD give strength to his people!May the LORD bless his people with peace!
Deep in my soul, is a tug of war,
struggling to know what this life is for.
And I try so hard to stay in control,
and to hold back the tears, to not let go.
And I don’t know why I hang on so long
when I know the question you are asking me.
Will you worship, will you bow down before your lord and king?
Will you love me? Will you give me your heart, Your everything?
And will you worship, will you bow down before your Lord and King?
Will you love me? Will you give me your heart, Your everything?
Right here and Now,
I make my choice,
with all my love, I will answer you.
I will worship,
I will bow down before my Lord and King.
I will love you,
I will give you my heart, my everything.
I will worship,
I will bow down before my Lord and King.
I will love you,
I will give you my heart, my everything.
A Psalm of David.
1 Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory of his name; worship the LORD in holy splendor.
3 The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD, over mighty waters.
4 The voice of the LORD is powerful;the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.
5 The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, and Sirion like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the LORD flashes forth flames of fire.
8 The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness; the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the LORD causes the oaks to whirl, and strips the forest bare; and in his temple all say, "Glory!"
10 The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
11 May the LORD give strength to his people!May the LORD bless his people with peace!
Deep in my soul, is a tug of war,
struggling to know what this life is for.
And I try so hard to stay in control,
and to hold back the tears, to not let go.
And I don’t know why I hang on so long
when I know the question you are asking me.
Will you worship, will you bow down before your lord and king?
Will you love me? Will you give me your heart, Your everything?
And will you worship, will you bow down before your Lord and King?
Will you love me? Will you give me your heart, Your everything?
Right here and Now,
I make my choice,
with all my love, I will answer you.
I will worship,
I will bow down before my Lord and King.
I will love you,
I will give you my heart, my everything.
I will worship,
I will bow down before my Lord and King.
I will love you,
I will give you my heart, my everything.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Sticks, Stones and Sickness
I've decided that people in general, have the ability to be super mean. Some choose to use it, others will not. I had a message on Nexopia from this random guy, who said that I was an ugly bi***, with an ugly face, and that I should walk around with a bag on my head.
I'll admit, I was upset by it, and had I just stayed home the rest of the night as planned, I would have probably gotten depressed, but I went out for a movie with Alison and her sister. Even though we didnt talk about it, I thought that this random boy's opinion doesnt really matter to me. I know that some will say No one's opinions should matter but my own, but in reality, that's not how things work. But his doesnt to me. I have enough good friends and family who make me feel beautiful, and some boys, like Treston and others who did as well. I've even gotten random comments from people I dont know, that make me feel good about myself. So I don't feel ugly when I think of this random boy's comment to me, only a bit sad that people have within them the ability to be so mean. I can't imagine ever saying something like that to a person, not even someone that I despise. Wow. I guess people are just different, and I'm ok not to be one of the people who are mean. I just can't imagine saying something like that to a person and not feeling totally horrible afterwards. I wonder if people get satisfaction from making other people hurt. I know that not so long ago, something like this would have caused me to go into my room, cry, and begin to believe the lies that were told to me. that was the kind of person that I was. What other people said to me mattered more than anything. Im not going to say that people opinions dont affect me, but I dont let them rule my life anymore. I'm human, words can impact me sometimes, it's just a matter of how much I let it. When people compliment me, I feel good, it's only natural. So when people put me down, of course it will hurt/piss me off, but I can't let it run me. *shrugs* That's all I have to say about that.
So this morning, I woke up about 20 minutes before chapel is due to start downtown, and I dont usually go to chapel, but when I got up this morning, I felt this ... feeling, I guess, telling me to get my butt to chapel. So I did, and I am so glad that I went. Our speakers were a family from the staff at NUC, telling us their story of the battle against cancer in the family. Their daughter was six years old when she was diagnosed with cancer. She is ten years old now, and she got up and told us about her story, then her mother got up, and told it to us from her point of view, and then came the slideshow that absoloutely broke my heart, and I think the hearts of almost everyone in the room. There were pictures of her before her cancer, during the treatments (Chemo, Radiation, blood transfusions, surgerys) and then after. I think nearly everyone in the room shed a few tears, and I wont be ashamed to say that I was close to sobbing. The message that they sent to us today, is that no matter what, God is faithful. Her father talked about Christian Cliches, such as "God won't send you more than what you can handle" and "something good comes of every situation" and "i'll be praying for you" He talked about how real those phrases became to him and his family, during the trials they went through. I think that they are so real, the promies that God gives us, and all we need is for those phrases not to become cliche, for them to become a reality. I mean, this doesnt make my dad having cancer any easier for me to deal with, but in some small way today, I got a dash of hope inserted into my dim looking world. I know that I must be thankful for all God has given me, I know that He will provide for all my needs, and all the needs of my family, and that it is simpy foolish for me to worry about them. All I need to do is pray, and believe, and God's will shall be done, and He will take care of us. Sometimes he calls us home, and sometimes he needs us here. There is a plan and a purpose for everything. No, I do not have it all figured out. No, this is not easy. But God is here.
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late
I'll admit, I was upset by it, and had I just stayed home the rest of the night as planned, I would have probably gotten depressed, but I went out for a movie with Alison and her sister. Even though we didnt talk about it, I thought that this random boy's opinion doesnt really matter to me. I know that some will say No one's opinions should matter but my own, but in reality, that's not how things work. But his doesnt to me. I have enough good friends and family who make me feel beautiful, and some boys, like Treston and others who did as well. I've even gotten random comments from people I dont know, that make me feel good about myself. So I don't feel ugly when I think of this random boy's comment to me, only a bit sad that people have within them the ability to be so mean. I can't imagine ever saying something like that to a person, not even someone that I despise. Wow. I guess people are just different, and I'm ok not to be one of the people who are mean. I just can't imagine saying something like that to a person and not feeling totally horrible afterwards. I wonder if people get satisfaction from making other people hurt. I know that not so long ago, something like this would have caused me to go into my room, cry, and begin to believe the lies that were told to me. that was the kind of person that I was. What other people said to me mattered more than anything. Im not going to say that people opinions dont affect me, but I dont let them rule my life anymore. I'm human, words can impact me sometimes, it's just a matter of how much I let it. When people compliment me, I feel good, it's only natural. So when people put me down, of course it will hurt/piss me off, but I can't let it run me. *shrugs* That's all I have to say about that.
So this morning, I woke up about 20 minutes before chapel is due to start downtown, and I dont usually go to chapel, but when I got up this morning, I felt this ... feeling, I guess, telling me to get my butt to chapel. So I did, and I am so glad that I went. Our speakers were a family from the staff at NUC, telling us their story of the battle against cancer in the family. Their daughter was six years old when she was diagnosed with cancer. She is ten years old now, and she got up and told us about her story, then her mother got up, and told it to us from her point of view, and then came the slideshow that absoloutely broke my heart, and I think the hearts of almost everyone in the room. There were pictures of her before her cancer, during the treatments (Chemo, Radiation, blood transfusions, surgerys) and then after. I think nearly everyone in the room shed a few tears, and I wont be ashamed to say that I was close to sobbing. The message that they sent to us today, is that no matter what, God is faithful. Her father talked about Christian Cliches, such as "God won't send you more than what you can handle" and "something good comes of every situation" and "i'll be praying for you" He talked about how real those phrases became to him and his family, during the trials they went through. I think that they are so real, the promies that God gives us, and all we need is for those phrases not to become cliche, for them to become a reality. I mean, this doesnt make my dad having cancer any easier for me to deal with, but in some small way today, I got a dash of hope inserted into my dim looking world. I know that I must be thankful for all God has given me, I know that He will provide for all my needs, and all the needs of my family, and that it is simpy foolish for me to worry about them. All I need to do is pray, and believe, and God's will shall be done, and He will take care of us. Sometimes he calls us home, and sometimes he needs us here. There is a plan and a purpose for everything. No, I do not have it all figured out. No, this is not easy. But God is here.
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Calgary.. A quiet place afterall.
I've recently taken to thinking that there was no place in this whole city where I could just go and have time to myself. Even when I walk down the street alone, people talk to me. When I go shopping, I run into someone I know. Res is just never quiet time, unless I decide to be awake in the middle of the night. The school, obviously, is never quiet, never.. There is no personal in CBC. But tonight, after a fabulously good dinner with all the NSA kids and Dave Sattler, I was walking back to res, and it was silent. There were no drug dealers trying to sell me thier merchandise, no cars, no trains, not even a gust of wind whipping through the buildings. And you know what I did? Without really even thinking about it, I started to pray.
something is changing in me, and I don't know what it is, but I do know that it is for the better. I want to share with you a part of my speech that I wrote for public speaking, but I don't have it on this computer. I'll put it online next time. But it is in regards to the change that is still trying to take place in my life, it's not yet complete. There's still the times when I just want to tear down everything and just let go, do whatever. There's times when I've done it, but it doesn't make me feel any better in the end. I was reading through my journal the other day, and I read an entry that said "It's time I start taking seriously the effect of my habits on my life". When I was talking about my habits, I was talking about music, movies, and stuff like that. I dont think I've done it on purpose, but when I listen to rap /hip-hop kind of music, I walk differently. When I listen to that kind of music, I talk differently. And so one day I decided I was just going to listen to uplifting, Christian music, and for the rest of the week (I'm not even kidding) I was all smiles. This is not to say that I am going to go nuts and only listen to Christian music all the time, because that would be a bit too much (for me, at least) but to allow myself the peace that it gives me once in awhile. I've always been a kind of "worship" Christian. I don't know if that makes sense, but the way I feel God lifts me up the most, speaks to me the most, is through worship music. That's why, when worship at a church event is crappy, I get extremely crabby. Like at youth group, when it used to be so loud in the sanctuary that we couldn't hear the music, I'd get extremely pissed off.
On a side note, I dont know where this update is going.. but it's going there, ok? dont' hate me!
anyways, worship has always been extremely important to me, and for a long time, I just blocked it out of my life. I had a void in my life that I knew exactly how to fill, but I just wouldn't have it. Which, of course, makes no sense at all. But now that I'm here, now that I've realized my mistakes, I'm trying so hard to rectify them, but all I can take are little wee baby steps. (I said wee, cara!) It's slow going, but it's going. That's all that matters.
I am thankful for such good friends in my roomies and neighbors, I think that the end of the year, while exciting cause I get to go home, will be very sad, because I will miss my roomies and neighbors (who may as well be roomies anyways) alot....
Tonight, people are not here. Everyone's gone out to a coffee house or something like that, and so the quiet time has allowed me time to think.. To think about who I am, to think about who I want to be.. It's going to take alot of work.. but I'm willing if God's willing, and we all know that He is... So for now.. Grace and Peace be with you always.
Much Love
Ashley
xoxo
And this song is dedicated to my beloved Kawkawa, which closed down. Kawkawa is responsible for alot of spiritual highs through the years, and I cant imagine how different my life would have been without it. Im sorry to have it closed down, it makes me very sad, and I fell in love with this song at that camp.. So here it is.. Just a small thank you to Kawkawa, in my own little way.
I sing a simple song of love, to my savior, to my Jesus.
I'm thankful for the things you've done,
my loving savior, my precious Jesus.
My heart is glad that you've called me your own;
and there's no place I'd rather be,
than in your arms of love. In your arms of love.
Holding me still, you are holding me near, in your arms of love.
something is changing in me, and I don't know what it is, but I do know that it is for the better. I want to share with you a part of my speech that I wrote for public speaking, but I don't have it on this computer. I'll put it online next time. But it is in regards to the change that is still trying to take place in my life, it's not yet complete. There's still the times when I just want to tear down everything and just let go, do whatever. There's times when I've done it, but it doesn't make me feel any better in the end. I was reading through my journal the other day, and I read an entry that said "It's time I start taking seriously the effect of my habits on my life". When I was talking about my habits, I was talking about music, movies, and stuff like that. I dont think I've done it on purpose, but when I listen to rap /hip-hop kind of music, I walk differently. When I listen to that kind of music, I talk differently. And so one day I decided I was just going to listen to uplifting, Christian music, and for the rest of the week (I'm not even kidding) I was all smiles. This is not to say that I am going to go nuts and only listen to Christian music all the time, because that would be a bit too much (for me, at least) but to allow myself the peace that it gives me once in awhile. I've always been a kind of "worship" Christian. I don't know if that makes sense, but the way I feel God lifts me up the most, speaks to me the most, is through worship music. That's why, when worship at a church event is crappy, I get extremely crabby. Like at youth group, when it used to be so loud in the sanctuary that we couldn't hear the music, I'd get extremely pissed off.
On a side note, I dont know where this update is going.. but it's going there, ok? dont' hate me!
anyways, worship has always been extremely important to me, and for a long time, I just blocked it out of my life. I had a void in my life that I knew exactly how to fill, but I just wouldn't have it. Which, of course, makes no sense at all. But now that I'm here, now that I've realized my mistakes, I'm trying so hard to rectify them, but all I can take are little wee baby steps. (I said wee, cara!) It's slow going, but it's going. That's all that matters.
I am thankful for such good friends in my roomies and neighbors, I think that the end of the year, while exciting cause I get to go home, will be very sad, because I will miss my roomies and neighbors (who may as well be roomies anyways) alot....
Tonight, people are not here. Everyone's gone out to a coffee house or something like that, and so the quiet time has allowed me time to think.. To think about who I am, to think about who I want to be.. It's going to take alot of work.. but I'm willing if God's willing, and we all know that He is... So for now.. Grace and Peace be with you always.
Much Love
Ashley
xoxo
And this song is dedicated to my beloved Kawkawa, which closed down. Kawkawa is responsible for alot of spiritual highs through the years, and I cant imagine how different my life would have been without it. Im sorry to have it closed down, it makes me very sad, and I fell in love with this song at that camp.. So here it is.. Just a small thank you to Kawkawa, in my own little way.
I sing a simple song of love, to my savior, to my Jesus.
I'm thankful for the things you've done,
my loving savior, my precious Jesus.
My heart is glad that you've called me your own;
and there's no place I'd rather be,
than in your arms of love. In your arms of love.
Holding me still, you are holding me near, in your arms of love.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
So much for so much more
So I was totally supposed to update before edmonton, but I didnt, so oh well no big deal, right?
Edmonton was interesting, my aunt has wierd friends. But I survived. On Saturday, I met up with my sister in law to be, and all the other bridesmaids, which was a bit fun, I actually like the dress (GASP!) and I am excited to actually be able to fit into it. See, we all had to try on a size 10 dress. Didnt go too well. I mean, I got into it alright, but anyways... It wasnt the right color either, so we arent sure how they'll look, but still I think I will like it and possibly wear it again. Even tho it is like ... pink...
Anyways.. We went out for lunch, all the girls, it was fun, I think I will like them... Anyways...
Saturday evening was spent (Until 3am) braiding my hair, it's uber cute, im excited about it.
But I didnt sleep much on the weekend, and I think I got sick, well, i dont think, I did, Im just not sure how.. anyways, so im uber tired right now, so Im gonna go for now, much love now and forever, mmkay?
Ashley
Xoxo
If you could see beyond the here and now
I know that everything would change
But you're hard and scarred by what the past
Has made you into
Shaped what you believe
I know you've been failed
And I know that you've tried
It's always the same
Time and time again
But you have to know
That nobody else
Can stand in your place
Edmonton was interesting, my aunt has wierd friends. But I survived. On Saturday, I met up with my sister in law to be, and all the other bridesmaids, which was a bit fun, I actually like the dress (GASP!) and I am excited to actually be able to fit into it. See, we all had to try on a size 10 dress. Didnt go too well. I mean, I got into it alright, but anyways... It wasnt the right color either, so we arent sure how they'll look, but still I think I will like it and possibly wear it again. Even tho it is like ... pink...
Anyways.. We went out for lunch, all the girls, it was fun, I think I will like them... Anyways...
Saturday evening was spent (Until 3am) braiding my hair, it's uber cute, im excited about it.
But I didnt sleep much on the weekend, and I think I got sick, well, i dont think, I did, Im just not sure how.. anyways, so im uber tired right now, so Im gonna go for now, much love now and forever, mmkay?
Ashley
Xoxo
If you could see beyond the here and now
I know that everything would change
But you're hard and scarred by what the past
Has made you into
Shaped what you believe
I know you've been failed
And I know that you've tried
It's always the same
Time and time again
But you have to know
That nobody else
Can stand in your place
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Breaking the habit
hey everyone, hows life treating you today?
Well I am doing well indeed, today i had a rather productive day, unlike most of the rest of my week. ... well.... life.... I went to school, which was good, went to my first three hundred level course, which was not difficult, because Rick and Mandy are the profs, so Im not worried. I think that if it was any other professors, then i might be in trouble. But it isnt, so im not.. it's a good thing. Anyways, after that, I went to Christian Publications, (the book store) because I just joined another class, so i had to buy the book. it was fourty bucks, not too bad... Anyways.. then I did like three hours of school work so that i stay caught up, and it wasnt too bad. I wrote my first speech for Public speaking, it's gonna be super fun. Anyways... I think i might put it up on the website later, but for now, I am going to go to the gym, and exercise, get my butt in shape for costa rica, which im super excited about.. So i'll update tomorrow before edmonton, this is like.. just to say that im alive..
Much Love
Ashley
xoxo
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m Breaking the habit
Tonight
Well I am doing well indeed, today i had a rather productive day, unlike most of the rest of my week. ... well.... life.... I went to school, which was good, went to my first three hundred level course, which was not difficult, because Rick and Mandy are the profs, so Im not worried. I think that if it was any other professors, then i might be in trouble. But it isnt, so im not.. it's a good thing. Anyways, after that, I went to Christian Publications, (the book store) because I just joined another class, so i had to buy the book. it was fourty bucks, not too bad... Anyways.. then I did like three hours of school work so that i stay caught up, and it wasnt too bad. I wrote my first speech for Public speaking, it's gonna be super fun. Anyways... I think i might put it up on the website later, but for now, I am going to go to the gym, and exercise, get my butt in shape for costa rica, which im super excited about.. So i'll update tomorrow before edmonton, this is like.. just to say that im alive..
Much Love
Ashley
xoxo
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m Breaking the habit
Tonight
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