I can't escape the rain

do you ever feel sometimes like everything you do is fruitless? like no matter what, nothing you can do will change the situation you're in? Sometimes I look to the future and all I can see is two feet infront of me, what I'll be doing next week, mabye the week after that, if Im lucky.
I can't see how my christmas is gonna go. I can't see how January's gonna go.. I can't see anything right now, but the rain, and it's driving me crazy. All I really want is to know whats really up, to know what my life is gonna look like - when I was younger, I was safe. Highschool for the next five years! I know whats up! then all of a sudden that security's gone and all I've got is a life where I can't see from one day to the next. I don't like it. I don't feel like I have any control, and I know overall, Im not in control, but It was always so nice to know what was gonna happen. I hate this, living and not knowing what or who im living for. I hate not knowing who my friends are gonna be next year, cause I mean, everyhthings changing. Friendships that I thought would last forever are suddenly reduced to a couple of people saying Hi once in awhile - even my family is different. And Family's supposed to be the one thing that I could always count on to be there - but it's all changed. And I HATE it.
I feel exposed, I feel lost, I feel like this life that Im living is ... minimal.. void of importance.
No.. I'm not gonna go do something stupid, but I just feel shitty today.. And I guess I've been feeling this way for a long time.

i dont know what to do with myself -


Well everything has changed
It'll never be the same
Nobody knows me man
But everybody knows my name
And I feel so ashamed
I never been the kinda person that would complain
But it's so crazy man
It's no different
Everyday it's just the same thing
And I just wanna knowIf anybody out there's feelin' me
I'm losin' my mind
And I can't believe
I let this shit get the best of me
And now I gotta let ya know
This has got me insane
Cause I can't stand the rain
It's hitting my window pane
A little too much
And now I gotta let ya know
this has got my face in a frown
Cause I can't stand the sound
Of the thunder that's crashing down
Upon my house
Now I gotta let ya know