Bloody Cold!

Hello everyone, how's things going?
I feel strangely disconnected from the world today. I woke up this morning and I packed everyting up and went over to my nen's house.. (That means Godmother, that's what I call her)
(don't ask me, it's nova scotia, ok?) Anyways, we pretty much chilled the whole mornin, and then had to say goodbye so we could drive out to Halifax, so we could get to the airport early in the morning tomorrow. It was a long drive, but oh well. I survived, and now we're all at our cousin Nolons house, waiting for tomorrow to come.
It's been a wierd week, and really really hard too. But the bad was somewhat balanced with the positive, because nova scotia is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been..
The funeral was a sad affair, but I managed to do my reading without choking on my words or tears. Micheal did a wonderful speech as well. All in all, it was the most emotional event I've had to deal with in a long time.
The day after the funeral, my mom and I headed up on the cape with my great uncles quad (ATV) and it was amazing. It was a perfect sunny morning, and there wasn't too much wind, but the ocean.. it was amazing... I can't wait to show you the pictures. People said that I shouldn't take my camera to such an event, but I knew that Nova Scotia was gorgeous, and so I did. The water.. it's just endless forever.. It makes me feel so peaceful to just sit on the cape and watch the atlantic ocean crash to the shore, and look at the lighthouse on the island in the distance. It's amazing. When I went to NS two summers ago, I sat there for hours writing and just watching the water. It's amazing.. I don't think I can say that enough. My mom was so lucky to grow up in such an amazing place.. Ahh!
So now, my week has come to an end. It's almost wierd to think about leaving and going back to calgary, I wish so much that I was just going home to north vancouver. It's sucky how much I miss it, even tho I've been here in Nova Scotia with all my family, it's not the same.
I don't know what the deal is with me, I have so much to say, but at the same time, I'm at a loss for words. I think mabye I'm still in shock, I'm still numb.. It's like nothing has really been happening, but I know that I have to go back to calgary, and catch up on so much work. It's going to stress me out so much, I almost just want to stay here. Then again... Hahahha...
So there's 21 of us here tonight, in Lower Sackville just outside of halifax, in this tiny little house. It's going to be interesting, but I shottied the couch, so it'll be alright.
It's my grandma's birthday tomorrow, which I think will be really difficult for her, because uncle derrick won't be calling her.. Arg, things are just retarded. I was just thinking, My uncle and I had a fight ( a huge one ) a little over a year back, and we didn't talk for a long while. I am so glad now that we forgave each other, because I know for sure that I would not have been able to live with myself if I had not forgiven him, or he had not forgiven me before this happened. If it was hard to deal with now, It would have been 20X harder if we were fighting. Ahh..
So what else.. My aunt paid me 40$ to give her a massage this week. It was enjoyable, for her and me, cause money is always great fun.
Ok, you know what I noticed? Out here in Nova Scotia, people are NUTS for halloween! They decorate for it like I would decorate for Christmas! IF you know me, then you must be shocked right now! It's nuts! That was that. ... Ok, not as big of a deal as I thought.
I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. We head to the airport at around 5:30 am, (Icky) and then start the trek to Calgary. We stop in toronto, but aparently we don't get off the plane..
Ugg. I dont know what else to say. I'm exhausted right now, so I'm going to end this for now.
I love you all..

Love forever
Shle
xoxo

"I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far
Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk,
Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of You, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
because of you, I am afraid."