mister wrong

I honestly feel like everyone I know is changing, everything I thought to be true is no longer that way, and the whole world is moving along as if nothing is wrong at all.

I haven't spoken to my best friend for about a month, and it's not like we've fought or anything, I guess we just both have lives, and I'm too stubborn to call all the time - when I know this person is just gonna be busy.

Also, my other best friend is in some other country and has been for a looooong time and I've heard from him only once which is more than I actually expected - but either way it's been a long time and I miss him alot right now.

I keep getting disappointed and let down again and again by a certain boy who say's he'll come over or that he'll call and then he never does. So I've stopped calling him and then he calls - can you say frustrating? I'm so sick of all of this - I hate playing this game - I just feel this overwhelming need to have someone in my life who's gonna take care of me, who's gonna love me and who's gonna be there for me, as well as allowing me to be there for him and love him, and I'm SO sick of the wrong ones - where is the right one?

I keep filling my life with all the wrong types of boys and I'm starting to feel the repercussions of those boys - they never really filled any spaces in my heart, just time and energy and I feel sick and tired of it.

I feel like I have no direction in my life right now - I feel stuck and like no matter where I turn there's nothing but where Im at right now and no way to escape it.


bah