what a feeling

I've been trying to think of what I can possibly write here to express my feelings towards life in general at the moment. Problem is, there's so much going on right now, that I am a jumble of everything exciting and over the top.
I'm going to Mexico in 15 days. I am really excited about this, but really nervous too, because Mexico this year isn't going to be the same as Mexico last year. I feel like I know this, but I still don't know how to prepare myself for whatever this trip is going to bring. I guess all I can really do is wait and keep praying for the team to be blessed, and to bless others. This team has been under attack already, we haven't even left for Mexico. We've already lost three of our team members, and we're due to leave in 15 days. I was really sick last week, and I've been having intense allergies to anything and everything lately, it's like someone doesn't want us going on this trip. We're also short alot of funds, some of this is because the church has focused so much of it's attention on Africa (not necessarily a bad thing, but still) that we, as "Mexico" have been put on the back burner. We have a final fundraiser on Sunday, I guess we just have to wait and see what the outcome of this will be. To be honest, I dont need to worry, because God will provide what we need - it could be that we think we need more than we do, or it could be that it's all gonna fall in our laps just when we need it. Last year, we needed to raise about fifteen thousand dollars, and we wound up with twenty, and got to help a really wonderful woman and her little girl. God has already provided for us, the families that we are to help this year, He already knows what we're going to do, who we're going to meet and who is going to change our lives as we potentially change thiers.
I am so excited to see the people who I love, I am so excited to learn more spanish, and so excited to meet the people God has put in place for the team and I. Mexico, I feel, was, is, and will always be a life - changing experience, different every time, but constant all the while. I'm scared - of what im going to see. I'm happy - that we get to make a difference in someones life, and I'm excited - because I know that the people of Tijuana have the ability to teach me more, in two weeks time, than I have ever learned in all my years of education.
after we finish building, the team is going to split up - most of the canadians, save for Pete, Jude, Doug, Russ, Lynn and I, are going to be headed home. The Aussies and Remaining Canadians (except for me) are headed south, to Ochos Negros to build a church. I am going to be back, once more, in the company of the amazing people at the City of angels Childrens home.
I can't begin to guess at what my experience will be like - all I know is that Im going to Tijuana with a heart full of Love for God's children there, and I will return to Canada with a heart full of that same love, and perhaps some of thier love for me..

I wish everyone in the world could have the experience that I'm going to have. I wish that everyone would get the chance to see what it's like in someone elses country - in somone elses world, because really, they are two different planets alltogether. When you've had an experience like the one I had last year, and hopefully will have this year, you're never the same again.

and that's the best thing about it.

you see, many people go on trips like this, expecting to be the teacher - expecting to educate the people of the world in the ways of North America... But everything get's turned around. You may not be able to speak the language, but words have no place when love is bieng shared. and that's really what this trip is about.

god bless us everyone

xoxoxo

PS im really excited, aparently Doug is gonna be in the van with us, and he is the funniest most amusing man I've ever met.. Boy is it gonna be interesting. (Yes, Im talking about your dad, Hillary..)